Health problems in early sobriety
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1
Health problems in early sobriety
Hello, this is my first post in sober recovery. I have lost almost all hope and feel trapped alone in a dark space i've been yearning to crawl out of.
This all began multiple times of attempting sobriety and failing.
Two months ago I had finally admitted I was powerless and began A.A.
worked with a sponsor everything was great for two months (this all happening during outpatient treatment in california)
After coming home, things started to get chaotic. All my problems started when I noticed I had a reoccurying health problem with my varicocele veins. Those of you who dont know it's uneven blood flow in the genital are, and needs to be fixed through surgery which I had done a few years ago. Since it came back I needed to see a doctor which took longer then i had hoped. Throughout all this my left ear became infected and i am also deaf in my right ear so that had cause me a lot of panic and worry. Finally althought it has not completely resolved itself since i keep smoking cause of anxiety it has calmed down a little. After this happened my right wrist started experiencing pain in the gym, this later was caused i found out after doing an x-ray that i have congenital fusion in my wrists, meaning they didn't grow normally, meaning i would be somewhat limited now into what i could do with working out and it now needs to rest for now. after this happened, i started to have pain in my penile region which is now causing constant tedious mild pain and discomfort which could be possible thrombosis. this along with my varicocele veins have prevented me from being able to get a job, because i cannot walk for more then 5 mins without constant pain and discomfort. my wrist is stopping me from being able to work out, and i cant run or do any exercise.
I feel trapped in my body and i'm panicking. I want sobriety so bad, and although i feel most of these health issues can be resolved, its the uncertainty that this is just the beginning and my body is going to get worse.
I know i sound crazy, as if i have hypocondria but i talked to my therapist and he said he doesnt believe so cause these are actual issues that need to be addressed. I can only hold on for so long, but my anxiety is taking me to a new level, of despair and hopelessness, and even suicidal ideation, just wanting everything to end. I don't know where else to go and reach out because i'm ******* terrified of life. I just wanna know that everything is going to be ok and i can work through this. and that it will all be worth being sober. i apologize for now i'm ranting but any hopeful advice would be greatly appreaciated. I've been dabbling with anxiety meds (xanax) just to get me through these rough times till i can get surgery, and see my doctor for the other issue that had came up in my genital region. I'm guilt tripping enough as it is that im moderately using to get through this, but it is better then feeling suicidal and it has been helping me push forward, i know using right now is not the long term solution, but i need my body healed in some way so i can move on and start working, and exercising, and doing normal healthy things essential for recovery. thank you for listening.
This all began multiple times of attempting sobriety and failing.
Two months ago I had finally admitted I was powerless and began A.A.
worked with a sponsor everything was great for two months (this all happening during outpatient treatment in california)
After coming home, things started to get chaotic. All my problems started when I noticed I had a reoccurying health problem with my varicocele veins. Those of you who dont know it's uneven blood flow in the genital are, and needs to be fixed through surgery which I had done a few years ago. Since it came back I needed to see a doctor which took longer then i had hoped. Throughout all this my left ear became infected and i am also deaf in my right ear so that had cause me a lot of panic and worry. Finally althought it has not completely resolved itself since i keep smoking cause of anxiety it has calmed down a little. After this happened my right wrist started experiencing pain in the gym, this later was caused i found out after doing an x-ray that i have congenital fusion in my wrists, meaning they didn't grow normally, meaning i would be somewhat limited now into what i could do with working out and it now needs to rest for now. after this happened, i started to have pain in my penile region which is now causing constant tedious mild pain and discomfort which could be possible thrombosis. this along with my varicocele veins have prevented me from being able to get a job, because i cannot walk for more then 5 mins without constant pain and discomfort. my wrist is stopping me from being able to work out, and i cant run or do any exercise.
I feel trapped in my body and i'm panicking. I want sobriety so bad, and although i feel most of these health issues can be resolved, its the uncertainty that this is just the beginning and my body is going to get worse.
I know i sound crazy, as if i have hypocondria but i talked to my therapist and he said he doesnt believe so cause these are actual issues that need to be addressed. I can only hold on for so long, but my anxiety is taking me to a new level, of despair and hopelessness, and even suicidal ideation, just wanting everything to end. I don't know where else to go and reach out because i'm ******* terrified of life. I just wanna know that everything is going to be ok and i can work through this. and that it will all be worth being sober. i apologize for now i'm ranting but any hopeful advice would be greatly appreaciated. I've been dabbling with anxiety meds (xanax) just to get me through these rough times till i can get surgery, and see my doctor for the other issue that had came up in my genital region. I'm guilt tripping enough as it is that im moderately using to get through this, but it is better then feeling suicidal and it has been helping me push forward, i know using right now is not the long term solution, but i need my body healed in some way so i can move on and start working, and exercising, and doing normal healthy things essential for recovery. thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by soberbanana 
I just wanna know that everything is going to be ok and i can work through this. and that it will all be worth being sober.
who have sobered up
and then realized they had serious medical problems
sometimes these problems were brought on from the lifestyle they lead
other times -- things just do happen
one thing for sure
being sober is what's best for the body, mind and soul
especially for ones who were torturing themselves while out there running amuck
MM
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Hi soberbanana - welcome 
I know what it's like to have a run of ill health - it's wearying, it's depressing and it's scary...
The best thing you can do for yourself is stay sober, and see your Dr regularly. Self medication may not be helping in the long rum - it's really best to see a porofessional
It may take some work time and patience but gradually all these little problems can and will be fixed.
I've never regretted getting sober - it was a great choice for me and I know it will be a great choice for you too.
D
I know what it's like to have a run of ill health - it's wearying, it's depressing and it's scary...
The best thing you can do for yourself is stay sober, and see your Dr regularly. Self medication may not be helping in the long rum - it's really best to see a porofessional
It may take some work time and patience but gradually all these little problems can and will be fixed.
I've never regretted getting sober - it was a great choice for me and I know it will be a great choice for you too.
D
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