Trying to stay sober!
Kingtarquin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maui
Posts: 41
Trying to stay sober!
Little over 6 months ago I stopped drinking. However in the last month I have started to drink on certain occasions. To be exact I got really drunk 2 weeks ago and then probably have had 4 mind erasers and 4 beers since then. I really enjoy the so called relaxing at a bar and having a beer and a shot. My AV tells me your not doing anything wrong and your under control so there is no problem, that's what the AV says to me at least. I miss the social aspect and the head buzz. I don't really get hungover if I have a couple but I know a couple will lead to an all day binge some day. Just venting and looking for some sort of justification to stay sober. I guess I'm weak.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Hi and welcome to SR 
I moved your thread here for more feedback
I think you already know where this road leads KT, and it's nowhere good.
In the 6 months did you make any other changes to your life besides not drinking?
That was really key for me - My desire to be one of the gang and chasing the buzz nearly killed me.
I had to find other ways to be social and to relax - ways that weren't going to destroy my life and my health.
D
I moved your thread here for more feedback
I think you already know where this road leads KT, and it's nowhere good.
In the 6 months did you make any other changes to your life besides not drinking?
That was really key for me - My desire to be one of the gang and chasing the buzz nearly killed me.
I had to find other ways to be social and to relax - ways that weren't going to destroy my life and my health.
D
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
My experience was that if i opened the door a little, i might be ok for a day , a week, a month but eventually i'd be back drinking as much as i could most nights and regularly to blackouts or whole drunken weekends when i had no plans for the next day(s) .
Bestwishes, m
Bestwishes, m
Kingtarquin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maui
Posts: 41
I suppose most importantly I met a woman, a fantastic woman, a woman I'm afraid to lose. So you ask what's the problem? Why do I still try to justify having a coupe drinks? I don't know?
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Originally Posted by Kingtarquin 
I guess I'm weak.
Every single one of us has a strength deep inside that we don't think we have, but it is there. You need to find it and then fight your AV for it.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Your AV is your disease talking to you.
You can choose to not listen to it, let it go. It doesn't need to control you.
I agree with Dee asking what changes did you make in your life, besides stopping drinking, during your months of sobriety. Ideally you would be building a life and support system where drinking is no longer an option.
You can choose to not listen to it, let it go. It doesn't need to control you.
I agree with Dee asking what changes did you make in your life, besides stopping drinking, during your months of sobriety. Ideally you would be building a life and support system where drinking is no longer an option.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Olympia, WA
Posts: 83
Kingtarquin:
To me, the body is a perfect temple. It has the ability of conformity. It will conform to anything you want it to as long as you are consistent. It has its own mind. Its own self talk. If you are a runner, you get hooked on running if you do it every day. The body conforms perfectly. The body ends up craving running because the running produces a high chemically in the brain which the body has been taught to love through conditioning and, after time, can’t live without. If you suddenly quit running the body is wondering why? It will nag you to run, make you feel out of balance if you don’t run, it craves running and until you run, it will pester you. Running has become a habit and the body needs the habit because you have conditioned it to love running by doing it consistently, over a period of time. It takes time for the body to calm down if you suddenly quit running. If you replace the word alcohol with running, that’s how I believe alcoholism is created. I do believe alcoholism is a disease. Too much drinking brings on the disease of alcoholism.
The difference between alcohol and running is that alcohol also has acetaldehyde and sugar that produces a high chemically in the brain and is processed in the liver. The acetaldehyde in alcohol is hard on the liver and the withdrawals are partially the acetaldehyde’s fault. However, the body also conforms to the high amounts of sugar in it, to the extent that the cells change to accommodate the amount of sugar it has to endure. The sugar creates heavy withdrawals and the body screams for it after quitting drinking for a few days. So the body is merely talking/screaming at you to provide it with what you have conditioned it to love.
There is also an inner voice in you that tells you it’s time to quit drinking, that we’ve had enough; We can’t do this anymore; we feel awful and need to quit; it’s ruining our life. This voice usually appears during hangovers as your body is saturated and weak so this small voice can get through at these times. But, in the beginning of sobriety, this small voice is just that, small. It doesn’t have much strength in the beginning of quitting drinking because it hasn’t been nurtured the way the body voice has. This small voice is the one that has to take on the “fight” with the ever powerful body voice in order to continue on a path of sobriety. So you are fighting a giant voice in the beginning with a small voice. It’s usually 72 hours after quitting drinking that the body starts to feel strong enough to drink again. When you say no to it, it says, “ Hey I feel fine” and “Don’t worry, this time we’ll just have a couple and no more.” “ We can be responsible. Come on, it’s relaxing. You need to relax”. Problem is, this body voice has no judgment and doesn’t know when it’s killing you. It only knows what it’s been conditioned to need. So, the constant battle starts all over again. In my opinion, that’s why your justifying having a couple of drinks, even when you might lose a fantastic woman.
I am so very sorry for this long winded story. But, you caught my eye with your post. You are not weak. Not weak at all. You’ve just, like the rest of us, conditioned your body to crave alcohol. Period. That’s it. So, please forgive me as I go on to tell you what I did with my “voices” that helped me tremendously to stay sober. It’s gonna sound like really weird self-talk and you can stop reading this anytime it’s too much LOL!!
I tried fighting with my body voice but I realized what we resist, persists, so I started talking back, lovingly to it. By the way, I said it to myself, not out loud! LOL.
“ I know we are use to drinking and that I have made you become addicted to wanting alcohol, but, I was wrong to do that, and that I am sorry, and please forgive me. Thank you for understanding that we have to choose not to drink alcohol. We need choose not to drink because I love you and I don’t want you to die. Yes, alcohol makes us feel good, but, it’s not a healthy good that you need.” I repeated “I love you” every day all the time. I asked for forgiveness all the time. Forgiveness for my asking my body to drink all the time. It seemed to really calm this voice down and therefore easier to make the choice of not drinking. That small inner voice that had been put in the shadows of the body voice grew stronger and I found myself not caring about alcohol anymore. The scary drinking dreams went away. I realized that the guilt, shame, and remorse thoughts that accompanying drinking are only habitual thinking too that we’ve allowed ourselves to accept, so I started talking lovingly back to those too. Whenever those thoughts came up I said to myself “I love you” and repeated it until they went away. It just became easier to let those thoughts or demeaning self talk go. After time the body didn’t care anymore about alcohol. So, if I sound like a complete weirdo, I understand, but, it’s worked so far for five years and has brought a lot of peace back to my life.
Good luck with your sobriety and the amazing woman!
To me, the body is a perfect temple. It has the ability of conformity. It will conform to anything you want it to as long as you are consistent. It has its own mind. Its own self talk. If you are a runner, you get hooked on running if you do it every day. The body conforms perfectly. The body ends up craving running because the running produces a high chemically in the brain which the body has been taught to love through conditioning and, after time, can’t live without. If you suddenly quit running the body is wondering why? It will nag you to run, make you feel out of balance if you don’t run, it craves running and until you run, it will pester you. Running has become a habit and the body needs the habit because you have conditioned it to love running by doing it consistently, over a period of time. It takes time for the body to calm down if you suddenly quit running. If you replace the word alcohol with running, that’s how I believe alcoholism is created. I do believe alcoholism is a disease. Too much drinking brings on the disease of alcoholism.
The difference between alcohol and running is that alcohol also has acetaldehyde and sugar that produces a high chemically in the brain and is processed in the liver. The acetaldehyde in alcohol is hard on the liver and the withdrawals are partially the acetaldehyde’s fault. However, the body also conforms to the high amounts of sugar in it, to the extent that the cells change to accommodate the amount of sugar it has to endure. The sugar creates heavy withdrawals and the body screams for it after quitting drinking for a few days. So the body is merely talking/screaming at you to provide it with what you have conditioned it to love.
There is also an inner voice in you that tells you it’s time to quit drinking, that we’ve had enough; We can’t do this anymore; we feel awful and need to quit; it’s ruining our life. This voice usually appears during hangovers as your body is saturated and weak so this small voice can get through at these times. But, in the beginning of sobriety, this small voice is just that, small. It doesn’t have much strength in the beginning of quitting drinking because it hasn’t been nurtured the way the body voice has. This small voice is the one that has to take on the “fight” with the ever powerful body voice in order to continue on a path of sobriety. So you are fighting a giant voice in the beginning with a small voice. It’s usually 72 hours after quitting drinking that the body starts to feel strong enough to drink again. When you say no to it, it says, “ Hey I feel fine” and “Don’t worry, this time we’ll just have a couple and no more.” “ We can be responsible. Come on, it’s relaxing. You need to relax”. Problem is, this body voice has no judgment and doesn’t know when it’s killing you. It only knows what it’s been conditioned to need. So, the constant battle starts all over again. In my opinion, that’s why your justifying having a couple of drinks, even when you might lose a fantastic woman.
I am so very sorry for this long winded story. But, you caught my eye with your post. You are not weak. Not weak at all. You’ve just, like the rest of us, conditioned your body to crave alcohol. Period. That’s it. So, please forgive me as I go on to tell you what I did with my “voices” that helped me tremendously to stay sober. It’s gonna sound like really weird self-talk and you can stop reading this anytime it’s too much LOL!!
I tried fighting with my body voice but I realized what we resist, persists, so I started talking back, lovingly to it. By the way, I said it to myself, not out loud! LOL.
“ I know we are use to drinking and that I have made you become addicted to wanting alcohol, but, I was wrong to do that, and that I am sorry, and please forgive me. Thank you for understanding that we have to choose not to drink alcohol. We need choose not to drink because I love you and I don’t want you to die. Yes, alcohol makes us feel good, but, it’s not a healthy good that you need.” I repeated “I love you” every day all the time. I asked for forgiveness all the time. Forgiveness for my asking my body to drink all the time. It seemed to really calm this voice down and therefore easier to make the choice of not drinking. That small inner voice that had been put in the shadows of the body voice grew stronger and I found myself not caring about alcohol anymore. The scary drinking dreams went away. I realized that the guilt, shame, and remorse thoughts that accompanying drinking are only habitual thinking too that we’ve allowed ourselves to accept, so I started talking lovingly back to those too. Whenever those thoughts came up I said to myself “I love you” and repeated it until they went away. It just became easier to let those thoughts or demeaning self talk go. After time the body didn’t care anymore about alcohol. So, if I sound like a complete weirdo, I understand, but, it’s worked so far for five years and has brought a lot of peace back to my life.
Good luck with your sobriety and the amazing woman!
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by Kingtarquin
I suppose most importantly I met a woman, a fantastic woman, a woman I'm afraid to lose. So you ask what's the problem? Why do I still try to justify having a coupe drinks? I don't know?
Tread carefully.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Kingtarquin
I got really drunk 2 weeks ago
I really enjoy the so called relaxing at a bar and having a beer and a shot.
I miss the social aspect and the head buzz.
Just venting and looking for some sort of justification to stay sober.
but
if you are
sounds like you don't wish to try sobriety at this time
not seriously anyway
MM
Kingtarquin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maui
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by tobefree4me
Kingtarquin: To me, the body is a perfect temple. It has the ability of conformity. It will conform to anything you want it to as long as you are consistent. It has its own mind. Its own self talk. If you are a runner, you get hooked on running if you do it every day. The body conforms perfectly. The body ends up craving running because the running produces a high chemically in the brain which the body has been taught to love through conditioning and, after time, can’t live without. If you suddenly quit running the body is wondering why? It will nag you to run, make you feel out of balance if you don’t run, it craves running and until you run, it will pester you. Running has become a habit and the body needs the habit because you have conditioned it to love running by doing it consistently, over a period of time. It takes time for the body to calm down if you suddenly quit running. If you replace the word alcohol with running, that’s how I believe alcoholism is created. I do believe alcoholism is a disease. Too much drinking brings on the disease of alcoholism. The difference between alcohol and running is that alcohol also has acetaldehyde and sugar that produces a high chemically in the brain and is processed in the liver. The acetaldehyde in alcohol is hard on the liver and the withdrawals are partially the acetaldehyde’s fault. However, the body also conforms to the high amounts of sugar in it, to the extent that the cells change to accommodate the amount of sugar it has to endure. The sugar creates heavy withdrawals and the body screams for it after quitting drinking for a few days. So the body is merely talking/screaming at you to provide it with what you have conditioned it to love. There is also an inner voice in you that tells you it’s time to quit drinking, that we’ve had enough; We can’t do this anymore; we feel awful and need to quit; it’s ruining our life. This voice usually appears during hangovers as your body is saturated and weak so this small voice can get through at these times. But, in the beginning of sobriety, this small voice is just that, small. It doesn’t have much strength in the beginning of quitting drinking because it hasn’t been nurtured the way the body voice has. This small voice is the one that has to take on the “fight” with the ever powerful body voice in order to continue on a path of sobriety. So you are fighting a giant voice in the beginning with a small voice. It’s usually 72 hours after quitting drinking that the body starts to feel strong enough to drink again. When you say no to it, it says, “ Hey I feel fine” and “Don’t worry, this time we’ll just have a couple and no more.” “ We can be responsible. Come on, it’s relaxing. You need to relax”. Problem is, this body voice has no judgment and doesn’t know when it’s killing you. It only knows what it’s been conditioned to need. So, the constant battle starts all over again. In my opinion, that’s why your justifying having a couple of drinks, even when you might lose a fantastic woman. I am so very sorry for this long winded story. But, you caught my eye with your post. You are not weak. Not weak at all. You’ve just, like the rest of us, conditioned your body to crave alcohol. Period. That’s it. So, please forgive me as I go on to tell you what I did with my “voices” that helped me tremendously to stay sober. It’s gonna sound like really weird self-talk and you can stop reading this anytime it’s too much LOL!! I tried fighting with my body voice but I realized what we resist, persists, so I started talking back, lovingly to it. By the way, I said it to myself, not out loud! LOL. “ I know we are use to drinking and that I have made you become addicted to wanting alcohol, but, I was wrong to do that, and that I am sorry, and please forgive me. Thank you for understanding that we have to choose not to drink alcohol. We need choose not to drink because I love you and I don’t want you to die. Yes, alcohol makes us feel good, but, it’s not a healthy good that you need.” I repeated “I love you” every day all the time. I asked for forgiveness all the time. Forgiveness for my asking my body to drink all the time. It seemed to really calm this voice down and therefore easier to make the choice of not drinking. That small inner voice that had been put in the shadows of the body voice grew stronger and I found myself not caring about alcohol anymore. The scary drinking dreams went away. I realized that the guilt, shame, and remorse thoughts that accompanying drinking are only habitual thinking too that we’ve allowed ourselves to accept, so I started talking lovingly back to those too. Whenever those thoughts came up I said to myself “I love you” and repeated it until they went away. It just became easier to let those thoughts or demeaning self talk go. After time the body didn’t care anymore about alcohol. So, if I sound like a complete weirdo, I understand, but, it’s worked so far for five years and has brought a lot of peace back to my life. Good luck with your sobriety and the amazing woman!
Kingtarquin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maui
Posts: 41
That was very well put. I came here for positive reinforcement, and that is what I am getting. I welcome more advice and stories. They help me understand this grasp my subconscious or what ever it has on me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 154
KT you said that you stopped drinking over 6 months ago and only recently relapsed. Surely during that time you found some feelings or thoughts that can help you stay sober now. 6 months of sober is a lot to be proud of. Wouldn't you like that feeling again?
Kingtarquin
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maui
Posts: 41
Having a hard time today and for the last month for that matter. I quit posting and talking and I started to binge again after 6 months not drinking. I thought after awhile things would get easier but I was wrong and here I am feeling like **** again. I guess I really don't want to quit. I'm confused too!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
There's no mystery I don;t think?
If alcohol bought us to the point we needed a site like SR, then it will bring us back to that same point or worse if we start drinking again.
It will also fill our heads with crud like 'maybe I don't want to stop', or 'I can't live sober', or 'everything kills you in the end'....
I dunno what you did for your recovery, but yeah a recovery thats no better than our drinking life is hard to fight for. There's no motivation there.
Do you think you did enough for your recovery last time KT - could you have done more?
Why not stop drinking again and try out some of the suggestions you got here for this run at recovery?
D
If alcohol bought us to the point we needed a site like SR, then it will bring us back to that same point or worse if we start drinking again.
It will also fill our heads with crud like 'maybe I don't want to stop', or 'I can't live sober', or 'everything kills you in the end'....
I dunno what you did for your recovery, but yeah a recovery thats no better than our drinking life is hard to fight for. There's no motivation there.
Do you think you did enough for your recovery last time KT - could you have done more?
Why not stop drinking again and try out some of the suggestions you got here for this run at recovery?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Kingtarquin
my mind was foggy for 6 months and I don't remember how I felt.
that was usually where I preferred to be
how sad when a man or woman deceive themselves
we need to face the truth
living like that -- is not living
reminds me now as I look back -- kind of like the living dead
M-Bob
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