firstymer

Your progress is inspiring, SpartanGreen. Excellent work. Keep it up!

foolsgold66

I was awfully mad at you when you wrote your first post here. In fact Dee deleted a post I wrote when I was mad and I'm glad he did. But, you were being brutally honest, which most of us here think is important in dealing with our 'stuff'. And to be brutally honest I've driven drunk as a lord too, many times. I was being a hypocrite.

I'm glad you are here, and glad you are sober.

I choose not to drink today.
FG

SpartanGreen

I can understand why someone would feel that way. What I was doing was reckless and insane. Not having to worry about being a danger to others any more, or to a lesser extent, getting a DUI, is the biggest plus I've had in being sober.

SpartanGreen

Some noticeable improvements after 1 week sober:

- My face isn't as pale
- Bags under my eyes are much less severe
- Digestive system working much better
- A couple teeth that I have toothaches in are hurting much less
- Gums don't bleed when I brush my teeth any more
- No more vomiting every morning
- No more unidentifiable pains in my torso. Presuming these were either my liver hurting or pains from my digestive system not working properly
- I feel thinner although I haven't lost any pounds. Presuming this is the bloat everyone talks about.
- My mind is crisper. I'm remembering small things better and having more intelligent responses when conversing with people.

Lifeisforliving

How you doing, Spartan?

SpartanGreen

Doing well, on day 9. I'm past the hard part. Now I just have to not drink.

azureseas

hey there can someone tell me what this is, would like to research myself
thanks

azureseas

sparten that list of improvements is awesome

SpartanGreen

It's post acute withdrawal syndrome.

Lifeisforliving

Great. I'm in the evening of Day 5 & you are one of those posters I took refuge in my first few days. Thanks for letting me know it works when you work it.

Dee74

way to go on 9 days SG

here's my favourite PAWs link

PAWS | Digital Dharma

D

SpartanGreen

I'm really glad to hear that and really glad you're on day 5! Days 3 and 4 were the worst for me and day 5 was when things started easing up a little.

SpartanGreen

Did something last night/this morning that I used to love doing but could never do with a hangover: go to bed early and wake up before the sun. Good morning day 10! I'll have to use my toes to count after today.

SpartanGreen

A landmark today, 2 weeks. About to go get wasted on turkey.

Hawkeye13

Those turkey tryptophins can knock you on your a _ _ dude.
Watch out :-) Happy T-day Spartan. Well done on your two weeks!

KateL

Lifeisforliving

So, so happy & proud for you. Enjoy your turkey!

Bruno1979

Congrats SG,

How are you feeling today fella?

SpartanGreen

Bruno, I'm feeling good, thanks. I've been pretty consistently happy and in a good mood since the physical withdrawal started subsiding around day 5. In these 14 days, some of the days have been easy, particularly the most recent ones.

Today was not one of those days. Today was hard. I haven't come this close to drinking since the first few days of my recovery. I thought about it long and hard.

I could drink a 6 pack of Heinekins and probably catch a pretty nice buzz and not be hungover tomorrow because it's only 6. I wouldn't drink tomorrow because it's a work day, I'd just get back on my normal routine since I have some discipline now. Why not enjoy Thanksgiving?

Those were the thoughts going through my head. There weren't even any people drinking at my moms house and I had those thoughts. I've read some of the posts being posted in here today and I can't imagine the nightmare some people are going through right now who are trapped in a house with people who are drinking.

Anyways, I'm back at my apartment now, didn't drink, I survived. It seems like the first round of holidays are hell for recovered addicts.

SpartanGreen

Well today is day 20.

Things could be going better. I've been pretty down in the dumps all week. Just kind of listless and depressed which is something I wasn't really expecting because I was so happy for the first couple weeks after I stopped drinking. I'm incredibly lonely and bored. I've gained 5 pounds since I stopped drinking because I've been eating so much and I feel gross and sluggish. I think this has a lot to do with my current demeanor because I'm a very self conscious and probably insecure person.

Towards the end of work today, I decided I was going to drink. I had planned that I was going to drink a 6 pack tonight. I didn't do it, but for those few hours, that was the first time since I had quit that I had made a decision that I was going to drink. The AV's reasoning and rationalization at its finest.

I was taking diphenhydramine to help myself sleep and calm myself down when I first stopped the booze and now I'm abusing diphenhydramine to sedate myself. That has to stop very soon before it becomes another substance addiction and an incredible problem. Smoking cigarettes and chewing tobacco, another thing I did from time to time when I got off the booze. I'm not smoking more than a couple cigarettes a day, but that also needs to stop before it becomes an addiction.

I am still very glad I stopped drinking but I used to think that when I stopped the booze that everything would be peaches and gravy. I'm finding that self improvement most definitely doesn't begin and end there. I have a lot of soul searching to do, other vices to stop, and more things need to change. Most of all, I need to get out of this funk.