I hate this feeling - Day 3
 

I hate feeling this way so much. I feel very irritable, restless, frustrated, and depressed today... I also feel like my body temperature just went up 100 degrees which isn't helping my irritability...it can't be withdrawl.. the last time I used was three days ago(75mg Oxycodone + Amphetamines) and that was the first time I touched an opiate or stimulant in over a month, using them once isn't enough to make me psyichally withdrawl.. maybe it's all in my head.. PAWS or something..

Maybe I should hop off the pity potty and do something about it. I know exactly where this is heading: I feel like crap, I do nothing about it, I think about using to take the pain away, I do nothing about it, I do nothing about it, and within 10 seconds I have everything planned out in my head(how im getting money, where im getting drugs from, how im taking them) and all bets are off at that point. So, I am challenging myself to do something different; pray - ask my higher power for some serenity and peace of mind; call someone - maybe talking about it over the phone will help... I mean whats the worst that can happen?

I'm not asking you guys for a solution to my problem, because when it comes down to it, I KNOW the solution it's just about having the willingness to actually do it.

And I know I have the desire to recover, regardless of what my disease/AV tells me.

I will update this tread in a little while and let you all know how everything goes.

Well, it seems you know what you need to do, it's just a matter of putting it into action... and actually, just some food for thought, it's been said that you can feel the immediate withdrawal symptoms for 30 days before you start to feel improvement or "normal" again. Give yourself a break- you know it's not going to be easy and you seem to know that right now is your immediate weak point and that if you dont do something about it you'll end up using to alleviate the pain. Is there a meeting you can go to for support?

You're very right. I just prayed for a little bit and then called like 6 people from my phone list until someone finally picked up... I don't feel great, but I do feel a little more positive and less unmanageable than I did 20 minutes ago.. I guess the proof is in the pudding lol. I should do this more often.

And yes, well not at this very moment, but I have out-patient group from 5 to 6 and then an NA meeting at 7:30, I think i'll be good until then, I'm safe in the arms of my higher power and if crisis arrives, I have my phone numbers. :)

Jake,
you don't ever have to feel this way again if you just keep off it. If you use then you don't learn how to deal with the moods and anxiety you just smother over them , thats what i did with drink …

I know my poison was drinking but i believe if i drank again i'd get the mood swings and irritability back very quickly .. anxiety , hot flush and so on …

Think on something else , do something for your recovery , call your sponcer , just try and get your head out of that well worn groove that leads to a place you don't want to go, like 5 day binges meth and hotel rooms ..

get back to it Jake :You_Rock_

Bestwishes, m

Thanks mecanix!

I know what I need to do. And so far it's been working.. like they say "It works if you work it; so work it, 'cause you're worth it." :)

Regardless of our substance of choice whether it be Alcohol or Amphetamines, it all brings us to that place of utter desperation, incomprehensible demoralization, guilt, paranoia, depression, and so on and so fourth.

You go for it mate :) :You_Rock_

Bestwishes, m