What defines an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
Originally Posted by Raider 
Would it be right to say that there isn't a standard model for defining alcoholism, and it's solely up to the person to decide if he/she has a problem?
Yes that would be safe to say....
Yes that would be safe to say....
As mentioned, if it's a question you're concerned enough to sign up to a recovery forum to ask, you may have a problem. There is typically something that led us all here, health concern, relational problems, legal problems, etc. I suspect most of us have tolerated what would be insanity to a moderate drinker before we arrived at the decision to stop.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,393
Dear notjane, welcome. Alcohol is progressive. You are seeing signs of the bad affects. You are wise to realize this. The reason I quit drinking was the increasing effect of the alcohol. It takes more alcohol over time. And more bad results. It takes over your life. I'm glad you came here. I'm sure you will hear many stories that started in a similar fashion. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Burien WA.
Posts: 2,893
It's 8:00 in the morning here on day 4 of not drinking and it's going to be a long day of being sick and tired. For people who wonder if they have an alcohol problem then you answered your own question. My drinking got worse and worse over the years to where the non drinking periods got shorter and the results a lot worse. I'm 61 now and would like to live thru these withdrawals and live the rest of my life sober. I might be writing a lot today as it feels like a bad day. thanks for the support everybody and good luck to all
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 368
For me, finally accepting that I was an alcoholic was realizing after many, many tries, that I could not drink less than I wanted to drink. Sure, while drinking I wanted to get drunk, but in the long term I truly desired to be a moderate drinker and I could not.
Alcoholic or not, too much alcohol is still bad for your health, and if you are willing to risk your health to drink, then you have a problem that moderate drinkers do not.
Alcoholic or not, too much alcohol is still bad for your health, and if you are willing to risk your health to drink, then you have a problem that moderate drinkers do not.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Burien WA.
Posts: 2,893
I've tried for years to moderate my drinking, and it would be OK for some time with long periods of not drinking and then I'd start drinking heavier again and that would lead to missed work or other things I meant to do and here I am again having withdrawals and needing to face the fact that I CANNOT DRINK EVER AGAIN, next time may be my death or my wife's if we both don't stop. Thank God she knows this too, we have both been enablers to each other. She's making me start going to AA with her soon as I'm through the withdrawals.
Lisa Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Quesnel, BC
Posts: 24
Please don't laugh - herbal tea
Sorry if you laugh, hope you try this. Same action, hand to mouth. Contains vitamins, water, mild (read the label and check) stimulants or calming. Legal, can be cheap. If part of a bedtime ritual, a good replacement. Sure helped me. I reviewed all other chemical solutions with my GP and couldn't find right for me. He still wants me to meditate which I would do if I could find somewhere affordable.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
When I came to SR, I was looking up information on my mom's drinking. I didn't consider myself an alcoholic back then and I am not sure that I consider myself an alcoholic now. That being said, someone on this forum challenged me. They said, you have given all of those years to drinking, why not give sobriety a try? I like a challenge, so I figured I'd give my body a break and I'd give sobriety 30 days. I am 46 days sober and I now think I am addicted to sobriety! I wish, wish, wish I had done this sooner. I feel better, I look better, I sleep better, I am a better mother, I am a better wife, I do better at work, I have more money. Sobriety gives me all of that and a bag of chips. Alcohol gives me an hour or two of buzz, but then less money, more shame, more embarrassment, more exhaustion, hangovers, ulcers, moodiness, poor sleep, restrictions of when I can drive my car and so on. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. I am in my early 40s and I only wish I had come to this realization in my twenties.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
AA suggests that if when drinking you find it difficult to control how much you take and when not drinking you find your mind wandering to thoughts of drinking, you may be alcoholic.
Normal drinkers don't usually need to control their drinking. The need to control drinking resembles alcoholic-like obsessive behavior. Your schedule resembles a very thoughtful workout regimen. Furthermore, most physicians would characterize the quantity and pattern as "high risk".
Only you know if you're alcoholic. For a long time, my drinking habits were comparable to my professional peers. Later on, someone mentioned to me my peers might also be problem drinkers/alcoholics.
For me, it went from years of a drinking pattern similar to yours to BAD in the blink of an eye! I'd lost control. It was terrifying and nearly took away my relationships and a prized career. It turned me into a real Jekyll and Hide monster.
I needed for it to take its course though. My fear was that a sober life was unimaginable and dull. That's not been the case at all!
Originally Posted by notjanedoe11
Drinking timetable:
Mon: 2 x shots whisky, plus a glass of wine at night
Tues: 3 shots of whisky
Wed: Rest
Thurs: 4 glasses of wine
Fri: 10 shots equivalent of whisky
Sat: 6 pints of beer
Sun: Hangover
Mon: 2 x shots whisky, plus a glass of wine at night
Tues: 3 shots of whisky
Wed: Rest
Thurs: 4 glasses of wine
Fri: 10 shots equivalent of whisky
Sat: 6 pints of beer
Sun: Hangover
Only you know if you're alcoholic. For a long time, my drinking habits were comparable to my professional peers. Later on, someone mentioned to me my peers might also be problem drinkers/alcoholics.
For me, it went from years of a drinking pattern similar to yours to BAD in the blink of an eye! I'd lost control. It was terrifying and nearly took away my relationships and a prized career. It turned me into a real Jekyll and Hide monster.
I needed for it to take its course though. My fear was that a sober life was unimaginable and dull. That's not been the case at all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
You spent a whole lot of your first post explaining the benefits of alcohol.
Do you think you cannot be witty, creative, social without it?
If yes, why are you here, on an addiction website?
This is not accusatory. Just a question.
Do you think you cannot be witty, creative, social without it?
If yes, why are you here, on an addiction website?
This is not accusatory. Just a question.
Alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: South Florida. U.S.A.
Posts: 8
What defines an Alcoholic
Good question...
One way is to take an honest look at your drinking.
In AA we have this as a tool:
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No
One way is to take an honest look at your drinking.
In AA we have this as a tool:
We who are in A.A. came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. We still hated to admit that we could never drink safely. Then we heard from other A.A. members that we were sick. (We thought so for years!) We found out that many people suffered from the same feelings of guilt and loneliness and hopelessness that we did. We found out that we had these feelings because we had the disease of alcoholism.
We decided to try and face up to what alcohol had done to us. Here are some of the questions we tried to answer honestly. If we answered YES to four or more questions, we were in deep trouble with our drinking. See how you do. Remember, there is no disgrace in facing up to the fact that you have a problem.
Answer YES or NO to the following questions.
1 - Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so, but only lasted for a couple of days?
Most of us in A.A. made all kinds of promises to ourselves and to our families. We could not keep them. Then we came to A.A. A.A. said: "Just try not to drink today." (If you do not drink today, you cannot get drunk today.)
Yes No
2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking-- stop telling you what to do?
In A.A. we do not tell anyone to do anything. We just talk about our own drinking, the trouble we got into, and how we stopped. We will be glad to help you, if you want us to.
Yes No
3 - Have you ever switched from one kind of drink to another in the hope that this would keep you from getting drunk?
We tried all kinds of ways. We made our drinks weak. Or just drank beer. Or we did not drink cocktails. Or only drank on weekends. You name it, we tried it. But if we drank anything with alcohol in it, we usually got drunk eventually.
Yes No
4 - Have you had to have an eye-opener upon awakening during the past year?
Do you need a drink to get started, or to stop shaking? This is a pretty sure sign that you are not drinking "socially."
Yes No
5 - Do you envy people who can drink without getting into trouble?
At one time or another, most of us have wondered why we were not like most people, who really can take it or leave it.
Yes No
6 - Have you had problems connected with drinking during the past year?
Be honest! Doctors say that if you have a problem with alcohol and keep on drinking, it will get worse -- never better. Eventually, you will die, or end up in an institution for the rest of your life. The only hope is to stop drinking.
Yes No
7 - Has your drinking caused trouble at home?
Before we came into A.A., most of us said that it was the people or problems at home that made us drink. We could not see that our drinking just made everything worse. It never solved problems anywhere or anytime.
Yes No
8 - Do you ever try to get "extra" drinks at a party because you do not get enough?
Most of us used to have a "few" before we started out if we thought it was going to be that kind of party. And if drinks were not served fast enough, we would go some place else to get more.
Yes No
9 - Do you tell yourself you can stop drinking any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk when you don't mean to?
Many of us kidded ourselves into thinking that we drank because we wanted to. After we came into A.A., we found out that once we started to drink, we couldn't stop.
Yes No
10 - Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?
Many of us admit now that we "called in sick" lots of times when the truth was that we were hung-over or on a drunk.
Yes No
11 - Do you have "blackouts"?
A "blackout" is when we have been drinking hours or days which we cannot remember. When we came to A.A., we found out that this is a pretty sure sign of alcoholic drinking.
Yes No
12 - Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink?
Many of us started to drink because drinking made life seem better, at least for a while. By the time we got into A.A., we felt trapped. We were drinking to live and living to drink. We were sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Yes No
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Hi, I hope you don't mind me joining this thread - there are a lot of similarities I recognise in what you are asking and my own questions. I KNOW I have a problem, but others don't seem to think so (apart from those who avoid me!!) I also drink for similar reasons - it's a crutch, a way of chasing away the demons in my head (I have MH issues) - but it doesn't chase them away and it doesn't work as a crutch. The problem is that, although I've thought it for some time, actually accepting that I have a NEED for alcohol terrifies me. Equally, however, the thought of not being able to drink also terrifies me - I'm already chickening out: 'I'll cut down' is my main 'get out clause', but it seems that that doesn't work.
I couldn't sleep last night with panic attacks at the thought of not being able to drink, that I'm an alcoholic, that I've got to take my old and disabled neighbour shopping today and that means facing the alcohol shelves... The more I think about these things the more I think about alcohol and the more I panic. Since 'deciding' to take action I've thought of nothing other than alcohol and am actually drinking more!!
XXX
I couldn't sleep last night with panic attacks at the thought of not being able to drink, that I'm an alcoholic, that I've got to take my old and disabled neighbour shopping today and that means facing the alcohol shelves... The more I think about these things the more I think about alcohol and the more I panic. Since 'deciding' to take action I've thought of nothing other than alcohol and am actually drinking more!!
XXX
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 1,130
Guys, please note that the original poster stopped responding after she picked up whisky and drank a very large amount. This probably means we should end the debate about her particular diagnosis/ self-diagosis. Having said that, any thread on the theme of recovery is valid.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Hi guys,
Thanks again for all the helpful input so far!
I think I should really admit that I may have a problem and try to solve it. However, I am reluctant/unsure if drinking is a real problem. Despite my earlier "timetable" in my initial post, plenty of weeks have gone by where I get through with just a couple a pints a week. Then again, I may be in denial because I really am unable to imagine a life without alcohol. Not that my life would be unlivable, just not as "happy" as it would be.
re: DoubleBarrel's question "You spent a whole lot of your first post explaining the benefits of alcohol. Do you think you cannot be witty, creative, social without it?"
my answer: I can be, but not at its optimum levels. Or rather, just 1/10 of how i'd operate as a creative/social person after a few drinks. i fret endlessly before social events, and i always make sure to get a drink before one, such as preparing a flask of whisky or stopping by a bar beforehand.
worst of all, i can't even um, feel sexy when i'm with my partner without drinks.
--
Sorry, i'm just really confused about how i feel about drinking now. It is 1am where I'm from, and I have gone through the entire day without drinking but I just had a small problem at work and i think a whisky might help.
Thanks again for all the helpful input so far!
I think I should really admit that I may have a problem and try to solve it. However, I am reluctant/unsure if drinking is a real problem. Despite my earlier "timetable" in my initial post, plenty of weeks have gone by where I get through with just a couple a pints a week. Then again, I may be in denial because I really am unable to imagine a life without alcohol. Not that my life would be unlivable, just not as "happy" as it would be.
re: DoubleBarrel's question "You spent a whole lot of your first post explaining the benefits of alcohol. Do you think you cannot be witty, creative, social without it?"
my answer: I can be, but not at its optimum levels. Or rather, just 1/10 of how i'd operate as a creative/social person after a few drinks. i fret endlessly before social events, and i always make sure to get a drink before one, such as preparing a flask of whisky or stopping by a bar beforehand.
worst of all, i can't even um, feel sexy when i'm with my partner without drinks.
--
Sorry, i'm just really confused about how i feel about drinking now. It is 1am where I'm from, and I have gone through the entire day without drinking but I just had a small problem at work and i think a whisky might help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Ooo, I've just tried to go back to get a name and all my post has gone (oh, name is Skye2 - just so I don't forget - doh!!) So now I have to start again (bum). Trying to remember what I wanted to say now (doh again!!) It was along the lines of: suggesting from your time-line that you are American, so please excuse the language barrier!! As a Brit (or more a nomad!!) I hate labels, whether it's being called an 'alcoholic', 'mentally ill' or anything else. We live in a world which, I believe, is unfit for humanity - it's competitive and categorising (no, I am NOT a 'left winger' or whatever you want to call it, I'm a humanist!!) We are people trying to survive in a difficult world. We preach individuality, self-esteem, equal rights and the rest, but we still continue to classify people in categories inevitably read as negative or positive.
So, preaching over (hmm!!), you are NOT (as far as I'm concerned) an 'alcoholic', you have a problem with alcohol (as Skye2 says) in relation to WHY you drink. There's, in my opinion, two factors involved: understanding the reasons why you drink and understanding that it is not the solution. Oh, here's me giving out advice that I can't follow myself, so if you want to kick this into touch please feel free!!!
You must feel there is a problem otherwise you wouldn't be on here. Drinking shorts (is that a Brit term?) is clearly not good!! How are your eating habits? Do you drink instead of eating? What are you trying to prove (what job do you do by the way) and to whom? What is your lifestyle? Have you got an extended family?
For anyone who is thinking 'what the hell is she talking about', I want to first understand the background behind the 'problem', then you can gain some understanding of what the problem is and what needs to be done to tackle it!!
Please do not think that you're an 'alcoholic' (sorry if this upsets anyone) - I totally agree with Skye2, you have a problem with alcohol. As Skye2 says, a problem can be solved. Don't give up, wobble over, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again (how musical is that!!) If you have a glass of whiskey (Irish or Scottish??) that doesn't mean you've failed or, more so, that you're a failure!! Have the small glass, don't finish the bottle - stuff it in a cupboard as a challenge, but keep it as a 'safety net'. How good will you feel knowing you have it there, but won't touch it!!!
I guess this is just the opinion of someone who also has a problem with alcohol, but someone that believes that everyone behaves in the way they do because of reasons, not excuses. Please don't beat yourself up - you're doing that already with the alcohol. You've toppled over, we all do that from time to time. You can do this, you can 'beat the baddies' and come through alcohol free (or my preference 'alcohol choosy') and be in control!! Go for it!!
Loves and hugs
XXX
So, preaching over (hmm!!), you are NOT (as far as I'm concerned) an 'alcoholic', you have a problem with alcohol (as Skye2 says) in relation to WHY you drink. There's, in my opinion, two factors involved: understanding the reasons why you drink and understanding that it is not the solution. Oh, here's me giving out advice that I can't follow myself, so if you want to kick this into touch please feel free!!!
You must feel there is a problem otherwise you wouldn't be on here. Drinking shorts (is that a Brit term?) is clearly not good!! How are your eating habits? Do you drink instead of eating? What are you trying to prove (what job do you do by the way) and to whom? What is your lifestyle? Have you got an extended family?
For anyone who is thinking 'what the hell is she talking about', I want to first understand the background behind the 'problem', then you can gain some understanding of what the problem is and what needs to be done to tackle it!!
Please do not think that you're an 'alcoholic' (sorry if this upsets anyone) - I totally agree with Skye2, you have a problem with alcohol. As Skye2 says, a problem can be solved. Don't give up, wobble over, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again (how musical is that!!) If you have a glass of whiskey (Irish or Scottish??) that doesn't mean you've failed or, more so, that you're a failure!! Have the small glass, don't finish the bottle - stuff it in a cupboard as a challenge, but keep it as a 'safety net'. How good will you feel knowing you have it there, but won't touch it!!!
I guess this is just the opinion of someone who also has a problem with alcohol, but someone that believes that everyone behaves in the way they do because of reasons, not excuses. Please don't beat yourself up - you're doing that already with the alcohol. You've toppled over, we all do that from time to time. You can do this, you can 'beat the baddies' and come through alcohol free (or my preference 'alcohol choosy') and be in control!! Go for it!!
Loves and hugs
XXX
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I went to great lengths not to blame the booze. I didn't want for the problem to be the booze.
I wanted to be that guy who knows when he's had enough - but I never was, not even right back to the beginning.
I was scared that sober I'd be a shadow of the person I was drinking...turned out it was the other way around.
I hope you'll give it a chance notjane
D
I wanted to be that guy who knows when he's had enough - but I never was, not even right back to the beginning.
I was scared that sober I'd be a shadow of the person I was drinking...turned out it was the other way around.
I hope you'll give it a chance notjane
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
I'm going to put it out there... I think you are an alcoholic. I'm an alcoholic but I've only been able to say that this year. I think I always knew it deep down, but didn't realise the seriousness of it until I really put 100% effort into getting sober and still couldn't do it. I'm in AA now and giving it my absolute best shot, I now know what I wish I knew 15 years ago... that alcohol is poison to me and if I don't stay sober and keep trying to get and stay sober, I will die. I had to grow a backbone and face up to my problem even when others were telling me I wasn't alcoholic. You know what you are, you just have to be honest with yourself and allow yourself to see it because only then can you have even the slightest chance of arresting your disease before it progresses and takes you and everything you love to hell.
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