ExWinoMom

I'm so tired and my ******* baby won't sleep, finally got the toddler to sleep after his granddad gave him coloured lollies today.
I feel like drinking, there is a tightness of angst and anxiety and anger in my chest. I either want to run away or drink. I need a ******* break.

ReadyAtLast

Drinking won't make you feel any better.You'll feel worse in the morning with a baby,toddler and a hangover.

Can you look at getting some help so you can have a break .Can your children's grandparentshave them for an afternoon or can you put them in daycare 1day a week to give you some time for yourself.

I have a young child and understand how hard it can be. I automatically reached for wine when he went to bed,often before. A crucial part of getting sober for me hasn't just been stopping drinking but learning what to do instead and finding better ways to cope with anger,anxiety and stress.Althouygh they have all reducedv massively since quitting

ExWinoMom

That's true, I want to know what I can do to sort out stress and angst without alcohol.
Sleep is a big factor.
When I'm tired I cannot cope. I need to surrender my addiction to my phone in the wee hours of the morning. My kids don't deserve a bytch of a mom! I am also hormonal and that is hard to navigate through. Sanity seems so elusive.
Alcohol is not my answer. Such a dumb trick it plays on us.
I am sober, still.
Patting myself on the back.
Saying my prayers.
Reaching out to you guys.
Too tired to talk on the phone to other members of AA. I'm going to have a nap right now, the kids are asleep
Thanks for being there.

littlefish

I really understand that. I would get those feelings and felt like a drink was the only thing that would help. A well known AA speaker called it a feeling like a screw slowly turning, building up the momentum and tweaking the anxiety to a pitch level. For me it was the feeling that "I get no breaks". That after a day of everything going wrong I felt completely empty and desperate.
I would get those feelings, which we can call "triggers", a lot in early sobriety.
I found that taking myself out of the situation, even it it was to walk outside into the back yard, or go to the supermarket, or come here to SR, or call my sponsor, usually broke the spell. I also realized that the duration of the trigger was generally about 10 minutes at the most, usually a lot less, and the feeling would go away.

ExWinoMom

Yes little fish!
You described me.
I used to drink too much socially because I was having fun (pre kids) and now since I had kids I was turning to alcohol because I wasn't coping, stress and so wound up there was no way out but alcohol (my short sighted ness)
Yes I have to look at what I truly need right then and there- is it a mummy break? Yes.
Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?
All of the above? Ah, yes!
Then get those needs met.
Oh man I'm grateful I didn't drink today xxx

ExWinoMom

I'm 52 days sober today. I don't want to wreck it

Dee74

You can do this. Now's baby's down, you can start to relax. Think about other non alcoholic ways to destress?

D

ImperfectlyMe

Listen momma, I know your pain its a never ending cycle that you think will never end, but I can tell you it will. I remember driving In The car when my youngest was 4 months old and my oldest was 3 every one of us was hysterically crying. I thought about driving into a tree. I pulled over got out sat on the side of the road and sobbed called my veteran mommy sister to talk me off the edge!

These feelings will pass exhaustion is a perfect storm. Take all the help you can get. Do not fail prey to thinking alcohol will ease you, all the chaos will still be there except you'll be more tired and feel ill.

Join a mommy support club talking In real life about how much being a mom can suck, without guilt is very cathartic! I promise you this will pass. Here if you need a friend.

jazzfish

I remember the pain of it and it seems to take forever, but it does eventually pass. There are sure to be other parents in the same situation. Seek them out and arrange play dates (i.e. mommy breaks). They can be great for catching up on chores, taking a rest, or hanging out and being able to talk to a sympathetic adult.

Tell granddad that next time he's gives the toddler candy (without permission) he has to watch him until he goes to sleep.

Oh yeah, and don't drink. It won't help anything.

And for your amusement, Samuel L. Jackson reading Go the F**K to Sleep an hilarious and oh so true book about getting kids to sleep. (Warning: language)

DoubleDragons

Just hold tight, Ex Wino Mom. I have four children and when they were babies/toddlers that was easily the hardest, most exhausting time of parenting. You will soon enter the best period of parenting. When my kids were ages 4-12, I loved it!! I used to say I would freeze their ages at that time, if I could. So, your great parenting time, is right around the corner. I promise. Now three of mine are teenagers, which isn't as fun as that middle time, but it still beats baby/toddlerhood time. So hang on tight and remember that the light at the end of the tunnel is really close. Definitely join a mommy group or two and find some way to get a few hours of time just to yourself, even if you trade babysitting hours with another mom. Drinking just makes tempers short. You do not need guilt and regret and hangovers on top of the stress of parenting.

ExWinoMom

Ah thank you so much. Yes it's sooo trying and I screamed and lost my **** today and left my 8 month old to cry and scream on his own. I hate doing that but I had had enough. Before I left him on my bed I gave him some paracetamol syrup. I figured it might help if he was in pain! Then I just left and had time out, when I came back to bed they were both asleep thank God.
Then I forced myself to sleep.
Now we are awake from our nap at 8.42pm. Crazy sleeping pattern!
This too shall pass. We will get up for a couple of hours and then go to bed for the night.
If I could hug you girls I would. Lots of love.
Rebecca xx

coraltint

So hard.....I remember getting sober with an infant in the house. I feel your pain!

Now that infant is 10 yrs old...it gets better & they will reap the benefits of your hard work with you...keep it up!!

FeelingGreat

Thinking of you EWM. Better to be up to your back teeth in babies than wine, right?

Anna

Being a parent is the hardest job ever.

I'm glad you got some rest.