First BIG challenge this past weekend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Glasgow, UK
Posts: 362
First BIG challenge this past weekend
So this past weekend was my Dad's 60th birthday and the family (Mum, Dad, older brother and me) spent the weekend in London for the occasion. I knew in advance that this was going to be a tough weekend for cravings and in general. I'd booked the return flight from Gatwick on Sunday night as late as possible so I could make the most of the free Chablis in the BA lounge...
My other half asked me early last week if I was going to drink and I said no but I'm not sure I meant it 100% at the time. I mean if your Mum offers you a drink then that's okay right? It was him saying I really don't want you to which brought things back round for me. I knew I was even going to say no to a glass of champagne to toast my Dad's 60th birthday and I knew it was going to be hard.
The weekend was a bit up and down. Friday night was cocktails, followed by champagne, followed by dinner. I was okay during cocktails in the the hotel nursing my soda water and lime, I was really unhappy during champagne, the meal was fine apart from I could see the rest of the family get steadily tipsier, little arguments broke out and sober me could see them coming a mile off!! When they decided to go for a final drink I made my excuses and headed back to the hotel. I called my other half to complain a bit! He told me he was very proud of me and what I'd done the last couple of months so that definitely helped.
I woke up with a fresh head and ready to go on Saturday. It was a much better day as we had lunch in Chinatown, theatre and then meal after so the focus was off the booze. It was hard to be outside the ritual of pre-show gin and tonics and interval drinks but I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. I actually enjoyed the show much more because I'm usually calculating when the next drink's coming when I'm at the theatre.
On Sunday I met a friend that I've drank heavily with in the past so I suggested a coffee instead and avoided temptation. Did the same at the airport by spending more time over dinner before a quick relax in the lounge before the flight.
Today I'm feeling a mixture of emotions. Proud that I didn't drink but a bit annoyed with myself that it really did take the edge off the weekend for me. Obviously a long way to go from my old ways of thinking. Physically I feel great....went a run this morning. Mentally, no regrets and no post weekend blues!
On with Day 68...
My other half asked me early last week if I was going to drink and I said no but I'm not sure I meant it 100% at the time. I mean if your Mum offers you a drink then that's okay right? It was him saying I really don't want you to which brought things back round for me. I knew I was even going to say no to a glass of champagne to toast my Dad's 60th birthday and I knew it was going to be hard.
The weekend was a bit up and down. Friday night was cocktails, followed by champagne, followed by dinner. I was okay during cocktails in the the hotel nursing my soda water and lime, I was really unhappy during champagne, the meal was fine apart from I could see the rest of the family get steadily tipsier, little arguments broke out and sober me could see them coming a mile off!! When they decided to go for a final drink I made my excuses and headed back to the hotel. I called my other half to complain a bit! He told me he was very proud of me and what I'd done the last couple of months so that definitely helped.
I woke up with a fresh head and ready to go on Saturday. It was a much better day as we had lunch in Chinatown, theatre and then meal after so the focus was off the booze. It was hard to be outside the ritual of pre-show gin and tonics and interval drinks but I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. I actually enjoyed the show much more because I'm usually calculating when the next drink's coming when I'm at the theatre.
On Sunday I met a friend that I've drank heavily with in the past so I suggested a coffee instead and avoided temptation. Did the same at the airport by spending more time over dinner before a quick relax in the lounge before the flight.
Today I'm feeling a mixture of emotions. Proud that I didn't drink but a bit annoyed with myself that it really did take the edge off the weekend for me. Obviously a long way to go from my old ways of thinking. Physically I feel great....went a run this morning. Mentally, no regrets and no post weekend blues!
On with Day 68...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,316
well I couldn't have done what you did at 60 odd days nightswimming.
I think it'd be perfectly normal to have some miserable moments in that kind of weekend long situation.
I think you'll find the more you embrace your new lifestyle, those miserable, a little scared, kinda sad moments and feelings won't occur anymore
D
I think it'd be perfectly normal to have some miserable moments in that kind of weekend long situation.
I think you'll find the more you embrace your new lifestyle, those miserable, a little scared, kinda sad moments and feelings won't occur anymore
D
Alcohol Free Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 482
You did a fantastic job. I have been sober for nearly a month and my cravings have ceased and I am in a really good place now mentally.
I have accepted that when other people are drinking around me, that its ok if I have a soft drink like lemonade or tomato juice. I have always loved coffee, so again this is an option.
Last week I went to Leeds with my Wife, she drank and I didn't and it did not affect me.
In time, I think it just because less of a conscious problem, but it feels great to wake up the next day and enjoy a breakfast at a hotel, instead of hungover trying not to be sick at the smell of toast.
Life is better, but sobriety in my case abstinence based recovery doesn't have to be all stick and carrot, its just a simple matter of replacing the contents of a glass, with a non alcoholic alternative.
I have accepted that when other people are drinking around me, that its ok if I have a soft drink like lemonade or tomato juice. I have always loved coffee, so again this is an option.
Last week I went to Leeds with my Wife, she drank and I didn't and it did not affect me.
In time, I think it just because less of a conscious problem, but it feels great to wake up the next day and enjoy a breakfast at a hotel, instead of hungover trying not to be sick at the smell of toast.
Life is better, but sobriety in my case abstinence based recovery doesn't have to be all stick and carrot, its just a simple matter of replacing the contents of a glass, with a non alcoholic alternative.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: England
Posts: 329
I know about that mixture of pride and disappointment. I was out Saturday and didn't drink. The Sunday I felt as good as usual and proud that I didn't succumb. However there was still a part of me that thought I was missing out on something, that the night would have been even better if I had had a drink.But maybe that is just one of the tactics of my AV.
Making me believe I missed out on something
Making me believe the night would have been better
Making me believe I would not regret it the next day
Maybe I did miss out on something,maybe the night would have been better, OR NOT. Either way to feel this good maybe doesn't come for free. There may be a price to pay. If that price is to feel I miss out on something than that is a price I am more than willing to pay.
Making me believe I missed out on something
Making me believe the night would have been better
Making me believe I would not regret it the next day
Maybe I did miss out on something,maybe the night would have been better, OR NOT. Either way to feel this good maybe doesn't come for free. There may be a price to pay. If that price is to feel I miss out on something than that is a price I am more than willing to pay.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Glasgow, UK
Posts: 362
Totally agreed Autan and having the alternatives (I love coffee too) works for me up to a point. Once people get tipsy and I'm not drinking I get bored. Their chat goes downhill (I'm not judging..believe me!) and there's only so many soft drinks I can drink before I feel like I'm going to explode. I can also smell alcohol really strongly in bars and on people like I never did before and it doesn't smell good. This happened when I quit smoking as well and I still can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke.
All whinging aside I think I'm going to have to get used to changing up social events (to things like theatre, cinema, dinner) when I can and accept that where a night is purely a drinks function then at the moment I'll stay for a couple of hours and then leave when I've had enough! The difficulty with this weekend was it was a family function and I had an obligation to be present for most of it!
All whinging aside I think I'm going to have to get used to changing up social events (to things like theatre, cinema, dinner) when I can and accept that where a night is purely a drinks function then at the moment I'll stay for a couple of hours and then leave when I've had enough! The difficulty with this weekend was it was a family function and I had an obligation to be present for most of it!
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