AppleHaze

I have been trying to control my drinking for over two years, I've had lots of stops and starts and the best I managed was 12 weeks earlier this year.

I found this site almost 2 months ago and I'm always lurking around. I have learnt so much from this site alone but yet I still continue to drink.

Last night during another drunken google search I found the statement I have listed as my signature and it really struck a cord with me.

It is what I do all day, every day.

I hope reaching out here will help me move on and start living, but I still worry what's the point because I'm not sure I'm 100% committed to living sober forever.

GracieLou

Hi AppleHaze and Welcome to SR!

I live sober one day at a time. Glad you are here. It does not really matter how you go about it right now, just that you start. We all started with day one

Theophania

Hi AppleHaze, don't have much advice, but glad you are here

AppleHaze

Thank you both,

Gracielou I was only just thinking where do I begin, I still feel the same today as I do every other day.

My head feels all over the place

Skye2

Applehaze Nice to have you with us - please keep posting Xx

UnixBer

Hey welcome to SR!
I used to be a lurker, and lurked for 3 years without once posting... I don't think it is a coincidence that I'm finally almost 5 months sober and actually a member of the board.

mirage

Welcome AppleHaze...you made a big step by finally posting here. I think it means a lot and will help your sobriety. I found it kinda like finally admitting that my problem was real, when I reached out to people and heard back. And once you do that, you can't go back to denying it. So good for you!! You'll get a lot of great advice and support here, it's a fantastic group of people. I've been sober for over 2 years and I attribute most of that success to SR. I still come here daily to stay on top of things. Good luck, friend, you can do this!

IOAA2

Welcome to a life of feeling good IF you let it. A long time ago I was told that if I'm trying to control something, I've lost control of it. In AA I learned self honesty about my drinking is #1 priority and should remain so along with doing a sober path for oneself and other things will fall into place. The how is simple tho not always easy: We don't pick up the first drink even if our azz falls off.
When I came around in mind AA was the only show in town and had helped millions since get sober. That and these forums are a great help.

BE WELL

wiscsober

AppleHaze

You have the desire and that's a good enough start...as is an open mind to living a sober healthy life.

Sometimes I went in to this 100% committed other times not...but what mattered was I did what it took not to pick up that first drink.

Best to you...

TexasMichael

Welcome to SR AppleHaze!

I was a lurker for over two months before joining.

I don't post often, but I read stories on the site everyday.

SR has been my only source for recovery.

I even got the SR app for my iphone. It's like having a sponsor with me wherever I go.

firstymer

Welcome, AppleHaze. I am glad you are here with us.

MIRecovery

Welcome

in the final analysis we really only have two choices

Alcoholism is progressive so the choice we have is let things get worse and as many will tell you things do get worse. It is much easier to get a hundred percent committed when you've lost your family your job, your freedom and your health but is this what you want?

Or you can believe in your heart that you will never be able to drink like other people. AA worked for me because I did not have to quit drinking for forever I just had to quit drinking for today. I was given a whole ton of tools that taught me how to be sober a day at a time.

EndGameNYC

Hi AppleHaze.

You don't need to be "100% committed to living sober" in order to achieve sobriety.

I got sober by working the AA Big Book Twelve Steps. It's a program of recovery that takes advantage of our honesty and our willingness to get sober; it's free; and you can set your own schedule. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking...Not a 100% commitment to living sober.

Since you've been lurking here, you've probably read about different ways to get sober. Many people have found other ways to achieve sobriety, so you don't have to stick with just one method. I needed as much help and support as I could stand, and that was the nuts and bolts of what worked for me.

You only need to open the door a little bit; you don't have to swing it wide open.

AppleHaze

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, it's all a little overwhelming and don't really know what to say.

I just hope I make it through the evening, or even the next hour. If I can make it home without stopping at the shop I can make it to the morning.

hypochondriac

That's an excellent signature I have been living in the dark side for a long time!

I do not believe anyone is 100% committed before doing anything. I also think that our need to think we must be before we even attempt sobriety is part of the addiction, sort of like the 'I would quit if I wanted to' approach.

When I first got sober I learned about AVRT and why we all seem to be ambivalent about quitting. It really helped me to deal with my doubts.

Glad you are here. This is an excellent place to start your journey x

wehav2day

Welcome applehaze! There is a ton of support here. Lots of info on alcoholism in that forum. Also a newcomers daily support forum. One thread here that really helped me is the 24 hour club. If you aren't sure, maybe pledge to yourself to give up booze for 24 hours and see how you feel?

GracieLou

Sometimes it is one hour at a time. Take it easy. You can get through it!

Dee74

Welcome

D

sugarbear1

I suffered from self centered fears for many years.....alcohol was my solution until I found a new one working the 12 steps....

There is hope and there IS a way out....

I wish you well on your sober journey!

Hevyn

I'm very glad to meet you AppleHaze. SR has meant the world to me - I appreciate that I can talk openly without fear of being judged. Not being alone anymore helped me find the courage to change. You can do this.