First urge 105 days sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Lincoln Park, NJ
Posts: 13
First urge 105 days sober
Hi Guys,
Today I have a 105 days and like the title of this thread says, I'm dealing with my first real urge. It came about yesterday while I was watching an interview with a screenwriter/director whom I admire where he said that at 38 years old he started smoking pot which immensely helped him with reinventing his career in terms of his productivity and means to be creative. I do screenwriting myself as well as music for picture and used marijuana multiple times throughout the day in addition to periodic binges with other drugs and alcohol to "fuel" my creativity. This worked for awhile until it didn't and I found myself dissuaded by drugs and alcohol to do anything but them. Without having really screwed anything up in my life except my ambition, I turned to AA over 3 months ago and have been going regularly since. I have a new sponsor who I get along with very well and a commitment to my home group which I take pride in. I'm really just writing this to vent because I haven't had this happen before. I'm romanticizing about the good times I had with drugs, particularly marijuana, while trying to flood myself with thoughts of how felt when I decided to quit, which was absolutely miserable. I know this will probably pass and I can't imagine honestly going out and getting high because of the repercussions I'll see and feel, but it's just really difficult to even stay focused on anything but this right now. I'm already starting to feel better writing this, and would like to end it saying how grateful I am for the program of AA and online communities like this one. Thanks.
Today I have a 105 days and like the title of this thread says, I'm dealing with my first real urge. It came about yesterday while I was watching an interview with a screenwriter/director whom I admire where he said that at 38 years old he started smoking pot which immensely helped him with reinventing his career in terms of his productivity and means to be creative. I do screenwriting myself as well as music for picture and used marijuana multiple times throughout the day in addition to periodic binges with other drugs and alcohol to "fuel" my creativity. This worked for awhile until it didn't and I found myself dissuaded by drugs and alcohol to do anything but them. Without having really screwed anything up in my life except my ambition, I turned to AA over 3 months ago and have been going regularly since. I have a new sponsor who I get along with very well and a commitment to my home group which I take pride in. I'm really just writing this to vent because I haven't had this happen before. I'm romanticizing about the good times I had with drugs, particularly marijuana, while trying to flood myself with thoughts of how felt when I decided to quit, which was absolutely miserable. I know this will probably pass and I can't imagine honestly going out and getting high because of the repercussions I'll see and feel, but it's just really difficult to even stay focused on anything but this right now. I'm already starting to feel better writing this, and would like to end it saying how grateful I am for the program of AA and online communities like this one. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK (England)
Posts: 2,782
Welcome PaulOwen, congrats on your sober time. I found that keeping myself busy and distracted helped me when i had any urges to drink. Sometimes the urges would be very unexpected but they did always pass. There is lots of support here. I'm glad you have joined us. Best wishes.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
to SR! I also kept myself busy when cravings came. A lot of times I "talked back" to the craving, telling it to STFU. 
Many times I walked my dogs to walk off a craving. You will get stronger each time you defeat an urge to drink.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
