He leaves me tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Sasha,
You are not alone. Ever. I do hope that you let your family know of the situation. I know that all of this is hurtful and overwhelming. You will be better than alright Sasha. You are surrounded by light and love. Hugs to you Sasha!
You are not alone. Ever. I do hope that you let your family know of the situation. I know that all of this is hurtful and overwhelming. You will be better than alright Sasha. You are surrounded by light and love. Hugs to you Sasha!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 695
We're here for you but I am worried your taking a victim's stance. Stand up and say "I have self-worth and deserve respect." Don't lie or cover or worry about spoiling it for him. Stay strong for yourself and your child. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Sasha,
Love and hugs to you.
Just me, but I don't think I would lie to your daughter about it. I think whenever possible, the truth is the best thing for kids. It's not as though it would be possible to keep up the lie forever anyway.
Take care of yourself.
Love and hugs to you.
Just me, but I don't think I would lie to your daughter about it. I think whenever possible, the truth is the best thing for kids. It's not as though it would be possible to keep up the lie forever anyway.
Take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 705
Sasha, I wish so, so much that you felt exactly the way that I want you to feel right now. Strong, disgusted, superior, furious, DONE.
But in my heart, I completely understand that you need to experience this tragedy just as you are doing now. I know how terribly hurt and betrayed you feel. While my own life lessons were different, I most certainly traveled along those same roads, and there were times in my life that I believed I could not go on another moment, the pain was so great. Times when I felt a physical ache so strong that it washed over me in great, horrible waves, knocking me over again and again.
I wish that I could take you by the hand and show you that there is a future ahead of you that is bright and happy, and that there is love out there waiting for you that is a billion times better than the illusion of love that you've been handed by this philanderer, this emotionally psychotic manipulator who has made you feel so unworthy, so inadequate. There is a future full of light and laughter, a place where this dark period will seem like it's a million miles away. It's waiting for you and your child. It is. I found it, and I once believed that I was lost forever. You and your daughter will find it too, but you must finish this dreary episode first.
Experiencing this loss as you have must have felt like slowly tearing a bandaid off of a deep, aching wound a little at a time. A quick tug probably would have hurt more for a moment, but just a moment. You can still pull it off quickly, if you stay strong. I know that there is a part of you that wants to remain visible to this man to the bitter end. To stand there with your daughter as he finishes packing and walks out the door, the scorned woman and abandoned child. But Sasha, this will hurt you FAR more than it will him. I hope that you can get away for a couple of days, and let him slither away like the snake that he is. I have the strange feeling that there is a sadistic streak in this man. Your descriptions of his words and actions lead me to believe that he may actually enjoy this, in some sick way. If this has even a kernal of truth to it, then don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you suffer a moment longer. Get away, let it happen, let it be.
You aren't alone Sasha. I'm holding your hand, right now. There are literally dozens, even hundreds of people all over the world who are praying for you, thinking of you. I want this to be over, for both you and your daughter. I want the healing gifts that time holds for you to start now, right away. I'm holding out a whole lot of hope for you, and I have great faith that you will get through this and emerge happy and strong, ready to find the kind of love that you deserve so deeply.
But in my heart, I completely understand that you need to experience this tragedy just as you are doing now. I know how terribly hurt and betrayed you feel. While my own life lessons were different, I most certainly traveled along those same roads, and there were times in my life that I believed I could not go on another moment, the pain was so great. Times when I felt a physical ache so strong that it washed over me in great, horrible waves, knocking me over again and again.
I wish that I could take you by the hand and show you that there is a future ahead of you that is bright and happy, and that there is love out there waiting for you that is a billion times better than the illusion of love that you've been handed by this philanderer, this emotionally psychotic manipulator who has made you feel so unworthy, so inadequate. There is a future full of light and laughter, a place where this dark period will seem like it's a million miles away. It's waiting for you and your child. It is. I found it, and I once believed that I was lost forever. You and your daughter will find it too, but you must finish this dreary episode first.
Experiencing this loss as you have must have felt like slowly tearing a bandaid off of a deep, aching wound a little at a time. A quick tug probably would have hurt more for a moment, but just a moment. You can still pull it off quickly, if you stay strong. I know that there is a part of you that wants to remain visible to this man to the bitter end. To stand there with your daughter as he finishes packing and walks out the door, the scorned woman and abandoned child. But Sasha, this will hurt you FAR more than it will him. I hope that you can get away for a couple of days, and let him slither away like the snake that he is. I have the strange feeling that there is a sadistic streak in this man. Your descriptions of his words and actions lead me to believe that he may actually enjoy this, in some sick way. If this has even a kernal of truth to it, then don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you suffer a moment longer. Get away, let it happen, let it be.
You aren't alone Sasha. I'm holding your hand, right now. There are literally dozens, even hundreds of people all over the world who are praying for you, thinking of you. I want this to be over, for both you and your daughter. I want the healing gifts that time holds for you to start now, right away. I'm holding out a whole lot of hope for you, and I have great faith that you will get through this and emerge happy and strong, ready to find the kind of love that you deserve so deeply.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
We are here for you Sasha.
I am also concerned you are taking a victim's stance.You are a strong woman and I believe him leaving will lead you to a better life. Often we don't know how bad things are until we are actually out of a situation.
I disagree that pretending he is working away and dropping in whenever he feels like it. What do you want? Children are more resilient than we think. Lies aren't a great idea. Even saying daddy is living elsewhere now but he still loves you (child) would be preferable than engaging in lies. No need to mention other woman
Have you seen a solicitor about access and contact arangements plus maintenance. You need to regain control of your life and not continue to allow this man to make all the decisions about YOUR life,deciding what happens and when. It is unnacceptable for him to just expect to walk back in whenever he feels like it-it is no good for you or your child.. Even if his name is on the deeds there are rules about being able to just walk in once he has left. Please see a solicitor who specializes in family law. Maybe he trying to is keep his options open keeping the way open to move back in if it doesn't work out with her. I hope you stand upto him and do what isright for you .This doesn't need to be in any way confrontational or argumentative,just firm and strong
I am also concerned you are taking a victim's stance.You are a strong woman and I believe him leaving will lead you to a better life. Often we don't know how bad things are until we are actually out of a situation.
I disagree that pretending he is working away and dropping in whenever he feels like it. What do you want? Children are more resilient than we think. Lies aren't a great idea. Even saying daddy is living elsewhere now but he still loves you (child) would be preferable than engaging in lies. No need to mention other woman
Have you seen a solicitor about access and contact arangements plus maintenance. You need to regain control of your life and not continue to allow this man to make all the decisions about YOUR life,deciding what happens and when. It is unnacceptable for him to just expect to walk back in whenever he feels like it-it is no good for you or your child.. Even if his name is on the deeds there are rules about being able to just walk in once he has left. Please see a solicitor who specializes in family law. Maybe he trying to is keep his options open keeping the way open to move back in if it doesn't work out with her. I hope you stand upto him and do what isright for you .This doesn't need to be in any way confrontational or argumentative,just firm and strong
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Love to you Sasha xxx
Please don't feel that you are ruining anyones celebrations by telling them your news. Please tell people what is going on, especially your family. It is his actions alone which have caused this situation and he should be made to face the consequences. Don't make excuses for him and please don't lie for him, even to your daughter. People admire and want honesty, even children.
I will be thinking of you xxx
Please don't feel that you are ruining anyones celebrations by telling them your news. Please tell people what is going on, especially your family. It is his actions alone which have caused this situation and he should be made to face the consequences. Don't make excuses for him and please don't lie for him, even to your daughter. People admire and want honesty, even children.
I will be thinking of you xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 79
Sasha,
I am truly sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I have been there but it's true what everyone says, it DOES get better. Yes, you need to go through this 'grieving' process, it's natural but believe me when I say there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't see it at the moment.
As for lying to your daughter, I don't think it's a good idea. Even at a young age, she deserves better than to be lied to in order to cover up HIS betrayal. Besides, you can't keep it up forever.
And HIM 'dropping' in when he feels like it sounds like he is still trying to control your life. Stand up and be strong. It's been 5 weeks since my RAXBF moved out but over the past few days, I have started smiling again and my home is peaceful & calm (except when my 13yr old throws a strop!) and it feels like a HOME again.
With regards to your family, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you to be going through this alone. I'd hate to think of my daughter in a similar situation when she's older and me not knowing or being able to help. The more support you have, the quicker the recovery process.
I am praying for you and your daughter. You are not alone. We are all here for you so keep coming back for support.
*Gentle Hugs*
I am truly sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I have been there but it's true what everyone says, it DOES get better. Yes, you need to go through this 'grieving' process, it's natural but believe me when I say there is light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't see it at the moment.
As for lying to your daughter, I don't think it's a good idea. Even at a young age, she deserves better than to be lied to in order to cover up HIS betrayal. Besides, you can't keep it up forever.
And HIM 'dropping' in when he feels like it sounds like he is still trying to control your life. Stand up and be strong. It's been 5 weeks since my RAXBF moved out but over the past few days, I have started smiling again and my home is peaceful & calm (except when my 13yr old throws a strop!) and it feels like a HOME again.
With regards to your family, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want you to be going through this alone. I'd hate to think of my daughter in a similar situation when she's older and me not knowing or being able to help. The more support you have, the quicker the recovery process.
I am praying for you and your daughter. You are not alone. We are all here for you so keep coming back for support.
*Gentle Hugs*
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I had a night in hospital yesterday.
I have been having some health problems recently and things went downhill yesterday.
It gave me time to think.
It was nice to be shown compassion and care from others.
It also made me see I have a lot good friends who want to help me and get me through.
I know now there is no going back.
I have no feelings for him anymore.
I just feel pity for him.
His life has just taken a complicated turn .....for the worse in my mind. But thats none of my business anymore.
I just want to get my daughter through this and me too.
Bestest thing?
No desire to drink in the slightest.
You are all very special to me.
Thanks so much
XXXX
I have been having some health problems recently and things went downhill yesterday.
It gave me time to think.
It was nice to be shown compassion and care from others.
It also made me see I have a lot good friends who want to help me and get me through.
I know now there is no going back.
I have no feelings for him anymore.
I just feel pity for him.
His life has just taken a complicated turn .....for the worse in my mind. But thats none of my business anymore.
I just want to get my daughter through this and me too.
Bestest thing?
No desire to drink in the slightest.
You are all very special to me.
Thanks so much
XXXX
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