Taradice

Hey all. Hope everyone is doing well. My moms drinking is ripping apart our family. My brother never wants to come over or be around her because she gets so drunk and says such stupid stuff and starts fights. She has no relationship with her grandkids. I remember when I was a kid I love going to my grandma and Grandpas house. She never sees her grandkids and I Dont think it even matters to her. I live with my mom so I see it daily but I Dont hear from my brither now because of it and I really dobt want to lose my brother. I text him and I Dont always hear back from him. My family is falling apart. That is such a crappy feeling. If I Dont have them, who do I have?

Dee74

I'm sorry Taradice.

Like someone said in the last thread, if you can't or won't move out, I think you do need to take a break from everything that is happening around you - neither your moms alcoholism or your brothers reaction to it is your responsibility to fix.

Talk to your brother - tell him what you told us - that you don't want to lose him.

D

Anna

I still believe you should do whatever you can to get out of the living situation you are in. It's toxic.

Many of us here don't have families to turn to or depend on. Families are not always what we want them to be. You can make friends who can be like family to you. I really think you should focus on yourself and your brother and begin to create a life that you want.

Taradice

It is so hard to walk away from my mom. I totally understand that if anything happens to her its because of her and no one ekse. But I would feel guilty because I know how drunk she gets and I would feel luke I could of been there to make sure she didnt get hurt. It would eat at me. I have seen her fall many times. One day its going to be worse then it has been or fatal. I would not forgive myself. I should be more like my brother and just walk away. I feel sorry for my mom. She doesnt know the ugliness that she vecomes. You would think she would because she saw me when I was high. That was for 18 months I was using. I have watched her slowly kill herself for 32 years. I knew it was a problem when I was in high school. Its a nightmare because she just looks at me using drugs as the buggest problem. She chooses not to look at her life from start to now to see where the problem lies. If you were to ask her why she drinks she would say it is because of me. That what she says to anyone who will listen. I know that not true and so does my brother and so do her parents. I niticed my mom will do anything to keep the focus off of her and she is quick to point her finger and put blame where she can. Like I saud before. I know 100% that my mom will drink until she dies. She will never get help. She will never own up to her mistakes and she will never change. I have a great deal of guilt from when I used that I hurt the family and feel I need to be here for her and help with my aunt. Drive my grandparents around when they need me too. I just Dont want to mose my brother because of my mom. When he decides to answer my text I am going to talk to him about our relatiinship. I unfortunately dont have a lot if friends right now. I need my family. I can come here and talk to you guys about life but I can't go out for coffee or anything with you guys. I need to have people in my life. Unfortunately it can be negative with my mom but she doesn't know what she is saying or doing when drinking so I Dont take it to heart.

SoberSamaritan

Taradice- I don't feel qualified to offer advice on this. I just wanted to say I am thinking of you and your family and will be praying for you all. -Mike

Taradice

Thank you Mike. It is quite the conundrum. I just need to vent and take in whatever is given to me. Its sometimes is quite difficult to hear what others say to me bexause they are looking out for my best interest, but its my mom. So my heart aches. Thank you for your prayers tho. I need some.

least

I hope you can find some peace in your life.

Anna

Tara, I truly hope that you can find some peace in your life, too.

Thepatman

Same for me, hope you find your way to happyness.

Just my story, but my mom was similar, I had to pull away at some point because of her drinking. I understand what you mean by guilt. We love them so much, but it affects us really badly.

Anna

My mother was an alcoholic too, Tara, so I do understand what you're feeling. I spent many years listening to her abuse, hoping that some day she would change. And, you know what, she never did. And, I regret enormously, the years that I wasted trying to work for something that was impossible, instead of taking care of myself.

Taradice

I know my mom will never change. I just Dont take the things that she says to me to heart because its the booze. I do take care of myself. I do leave the house if she gets too out of hand. But I never go far in fear that she may fall or something. I understand how you all feel about the emotionl and verbal abuse towards me. I know I Dont deserve it but I know its not my mom at these times. Its the monster that has taken over because of the alcohol. That is why I am able to handle it. I just know that someone needs to be responsible in the home and make sure no harm happens and that what I do. When I wake up in the morning. I make us coffee and we talk like nothing happened because in her mind nithing did. I have approached her when she has been sober about the way she acts when she drinks too much. Which she drinks everyday the minute she walks in the house. She feels she doesnt do anything when she drinks so its ok. That is why I know she will never quit which I have no control of. All I care about is making sure she doesnt get hurt. I know my fault in this situation is staying with my mom during this turmoil. But I feel if I Dont take what she says to me to heart I will be fine. Also talki g about it helps too. I just Dont want it to effect my brothers and mine relatiinship.