I hit the REAL rock bottom.
Welcome back RJY9. AA sounds like a good plan and staying here regularly will surely help too. Have you considered detox or seeing an alcohol/drug counselor too? You have struggled mightily and had many, progressively worse "bottoms" in your time here in and out of SR. Just make sure you are doing everything you possibly can and take advantage of every possible resource you can find. Because as bad as this bottom seems, there are worse ones out there.
Scary story man unfortunately I can relate. I've done some insane bad things while in a blackout and it only got worse. Like Scott said there are always more bottoms. I hope for you and your family's sake you do not find them. AA is a great program and a great place for people like us. I hope you can get into a good group and discover what it has to offer.
I have a feeling that was what needed to happen. I had to be brought to my knees too. I never looked back. We are with you, RJY. We know you can do this. I'm so glad you made it safely home so you could start on your new beginning.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Omaha, Nebraska
Posts: 196
Welcome and best of luck! As bad as that night was I'm glad you were on a bicycle. I live in the Midwestern U.S. and all the drunks are in cars. A friend of mine woke up one morning in his truck at an intersection in a rural area that he did not recognize. His pants were covered in mud, his truck on empty and his cell phone battery was nearly dead. When he finally found a town, (He was still drunk, but out of his blackout) he charged his phone and called his wife to come get him. He was two hours driving distance from the bar he started at the previous night. He drove around all night and doesn't remember a thing. He could have killed people! He still drinks. Kudo's for finding the path my friend.
Wow is right RJY9,
You know what I think? I don't think you just hit rock bottom. I think you fell through the bottom and are now in a free fall of peace and serenity knowing that life is over.
I'm glad you are back! You do whatever you need to do to make it so.
You know what I think? I don't think you just hit rock bottom. I think you fell through the bottom and are now in a free fall of peace and serenity knowing that life is over.
I'm glad you are back! You do whatever you need to do to make it so.
I hope your program works. It's not easy - funny all the stuff I drank to escape and ignore - were STILL there. Then on top of that I have to clean up all the messes I made during my drunken, self-serving, episodes.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I can relate to your experience on so many levels. I had to fall down so damn hard in order for me to walk away from destruction. It was a horrible night of confusion, of shame, and of losing myself. You have the power and have been given the chance to start walking on a different path. I am sorry for what it took to get you there, but I am glad that you have resolve. The resolve is necessary. You have a wife standing by you and a family that loves you. Extend this love to yourself and walk forward. Do not look back, ever. Walk forward. You can be the change. You can be sober and it can be beautiful.
I know it was hard for you to come here and post of the madness. So, thank you for sharing and please keep sharing. You can do this.
I know it was hard for you to come here and post of the madness. So, thank you for sharing and please keep sharing. You can do this.
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