The realities of being sober
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 526
it always seems like that when stress/life gets to us, the desire to escape it all by drinking is very strong. i could say that i was functional for years, despite the drinking.
i've created a more complicated problem, not only did i actually have to deal with stressful situations, i also had to deal with my drinking (which always got out of control).
to me life is easier if i am not drinking. it's not peachy, but it's one negative thing removed from my life. alcohol never did anything positive for me, it was all a lie... it held me back, it blinded me. it made me believe that there is no joy in life. real, honest joy and peace. yes, i wish i could experience it day to day, minute to minute. but for those moments that i do feel that way, i realize how important it is to be free of addiction. i could never feel that way under the influence.
i've created a more complicated problem, not only did i actually have to deal with stressful situations, i also had to deal with my drinking (which always got out of control).
to me life is easier if i am not drinking. it's not peachy, but it's one negative thing removed from my life. alcohol never did anything positive for me, it was all a lie... it held me back, it blinded me. it made me believe that there is no joy in life. real, honest joy and peace. yes, i wish i could experience it day to day, minute to minute. but for those moments that i do feel that way, i realize how important it is to be free of addiction. i could never feel that way under the influence.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: north wales
Posts: 32
realities of being sober
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I agree with Johnston...but to be honest I thought it would be instantly amazing too - and it wasn't.
I felt relief but I also felt beaten up, weary, scared, bored, angry irritable and resentful..
It took me probably 3 months before the physical and mental damage I'd done to myself began to heal and I felt my perceptions shifting...it was still a little time after that until I felt joy again....I'd dug a pretty deep hole for myself over the course of 30 years.
Not trying to depress you - your mileage will undoubtedly vary - but the point is, if you stay committed to being sober, you will get better and feel better - and you will find the 'amazing'
D
I felt relief but I also felt beaten up, weary, scared, bored, angry irritable and resentful..
It took me probably 3 months before the physical and mental damage I'd done to myself began to heal and I felt my perceptions shifting...it was still a little time after that until I felt joy again....I'd dug a pretty deep hole for myself over the course of 30 years.
Not trying to depress you - your mileage will undoubtedly vary - but the point is, if you stay committed to being sober, you will get better and feel better - and you will find the 'amazing'
D
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I felt like I was doing sobriety wrong at first because I didn't get a pink cloud, a job, all my friendships renewed, amazing health, clear skin, etc etc. I had heard many people talk about that and I was ashamed at my failure.
But I had some recovering addicts and alcoholics that shared my more mundane experience to assure me I was doing just fine. Life is what life is, and kudos to those who get the gold plated sobriety delivered to them, and kudos to us who get the quieter version too.
More will be revealed, they told me...and part of that revelation was that drinking/drugging were actually not the only issue in my life. BUT, they were aggravating every issue in my life, and free of them I had a chance to actually live.
The second time my BF got sober he had a pink cloud that was SO over the top it was scary. No one could stay on that self righteous high for too long without feeling the fall. Seriously, he was unbearable. This time his sobriety is a more quiet thing, but...I think he's much less likely to fall off of it.
I admit, I envied people who got a pink cloud. And a new car, and their marriage fixed. But I have NEVER envied anyone who relapsed. Yup, sobriety for the win. Hands down.
But I had some recovering addicts and alcoholics that shared my more mundane experience to assure me I was doing just fine. Life is what life is, and kudos to those who get the gold plated sobriety delivered to them, and kudos to us who get the quieter version too.
More will be revealed, they told me...and part of that revelation was that drinking/drugging were actually not the only issue in my life. BUT, they were aggravating every issue in my life, and free of them I had a chance to actually live.
The second time my BF got sober he had a pink cloud that was SO over the top it was scary. No one could stay on that self righteous high for too long without feeling the fall. Seriously, he was unbearable. This time his sobriety is a more quiet thing, but...I think he's much less likely to fall off of it.
I admit, I envied people who got a pink cloud. And a new car, and their marriage fixed. But I have NEVER envied anyone who relapsed. Yup, sobriety for the win. Hands down.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
MrBen-
I get where your coming from. After years of abusing my brain it really fought back when I got sober. The first 6 months I had many days when I just felt "off" or depressed or anxious. I have started to realize though that yes I have some PAWS but, also this is just how "normal" is for me. Normal for me is good and bad moods.
Some days I will ignore the I am so happy posts. Other days I am all "Yay".... Either way I will take a "bad day" to a "bad hangover day" anytime.
But yep it is not an easy journey for a lot of us.
Jess
I get where your coming from. After years of abusing my brain it really fought back when I got sober. The first 6 months I had many days when I just felt "off" or depressed or anxious. I have started to realize though that yes I have some PAWS but, also this is just how "normal" is for me. Normal for me is good and bad moods.
Some days I will ignore the I am so happy posts. Other days I am all "Yay".... Either way I will take a "bad day" to a "bad hangover day" anytime.
But yep it is not an easy journey for a lot of us.
Jess
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 154
Glad you shared your experience
Thanks Mr. Ben. I've been lurking on SR for a while and finally joined. From what I've read, everyone experiences some sort of challenge to their sobriety at some point and that's helped me to think proactively about how I'm going to handle it when I'm challenged.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
