DoubleDragons

Hi, I am on Day 39. While I love to read all of the upbeat posts about sobriety and I am feeling so, so, so much better physically, emotionally I have been especially all over the map lately. I think I am realizing how much I stuffed my feelings about things and then when the feelings started bubbling over, I poured red wine all over them. So, old habit ~ angry at husband, stuff it, drink wine; worried about kids, stuff it, drink wine; feeling lonely in my new town, stuff it, drink wine; feeling irritated at boss, stuff it, drink wine; feeling used by extended family, stuff it, drink wine. BTW, old habit = red wine + stuffed feelings + tons of ibuprofen to stop hangovers from red wine = painful stomach ulcers and btw, ulcers do not care to have alcohol poured all over them, as much as you try to make it work.

Okay, so now I am stuck with trying to come up with a new habit. Stuffing my emotions was not healthy, nor was drinking myself into oblivion healthy. What healthy things have you all done facing your emotions head on in sobriety? Or is this just a 5-6 week sobriety mark that is likely to pass?

Thanks in advance!

alphaomega

My beautiful sister in sobriety.

What if you just.....felt them ?

While driving to Target the other day, I had to pull over because I started to bawl.
No prompt, no trigger, just all these unfelt emotions bubbled to the surface at once and literally DEMANDED my attention.

So I cried and cried and cried. I cried so long and so hard that I had the staccato breathing and snot bubbles and I even think there was a primal scream or two in there.

I promise, if you allow them to surface, they wont kill you. We get afraid to "get stuck" in our pain. But what keeps our pain in place is retarding its release. Ever heard the saying " That what you resist, persists" ?

And afterwards those healing waters pour, its as cathartic as a great, big, fat "O".
All the endorphins release and you get this incredible sense of peace and calm.

Eye on the prize sister.

XO AO

FourSeasons

Congratulations on 39 Days!!!

I too am newly sober!!

The only healthy change I have made since 08/20/13 is to force myself to stay in the present moment and practice mindfulness.

I also practice saying to myself the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

If I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it... Thus, I am letting it all go!!

I live for today with a hopeful eye on tomorrow...

Once I am ready, I will make other positive improvements one day at a time!!

soberhawk

I think it is getting easier to face with time – I am 94 days sober and I can feel more stable. I have read here that many see a difference close to a year and I am very curious to see how it will develop

I have used meditation, swimming and running quite a lot, I know such things help me.

I mediate shortly every evening (10 minutes) it is just to train to focus and not follow unproductive “chains of thoughts” .

I also have a strong feeling of things have an end. I am in my late forties. I am not escaping my own feelings anymore. Enough is enough – we have to grow up and face it sometime.

I stopped smoking soon a month ago, that was difficult. But I am so glad I did that has also made me more relaxed and less intense.

Concrats with the 39 days, well done.

chaili05

Congratulations everyone working on their sobriety. Inspiring to read.
DoubleDragons, I love that you posted this question because I was 1) going to post something similar and 2) feeling the exact same way. In my case it's slightly different because I am a mere 6 days sober today.
I think something to remember is to cut yourself a break- the one coping skill you were using you simply stopped cold turkey one day! When we really think about it that way, oh my goodness of course we're going to have a difficult time.
The one thing I've done both yesterday and today is walk/jog, and only about 20 minutes but I'll tell you- doing something positive for yourself does seem to help the nerves and make you feel good about your own choices.
Alphaomega, I'm glad you posted your advice!! I was struggling with holding back tears ALL DAY yesterday. Same thing- nothing necessarily happened per-say... just a hold up of emotions from the damage I had cause from drinking this past year that I hadn't dealt with. I really appreciate the advice to simply feel the emotions... I'll definitely try that next time (which will probably be within the next hour, haha) and just let myself cry.

awuh1

You may wish to google PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome). There can be HUGE biological changes that take place for a year to 18 months after the last drink.

least

It may well be PAWS. Early sobriety is really a roller coaster ride as to emotions. It will get better.

I treated my anxiety and depression by seeing a counselor. It's been very helpful.

liberated

DoubleDragons!!! My sober sister- here at 39 days as well in emotional roller coaster city! Hang tight as we welcome day 40 together- laughter, joy, fear, tears and all! HUGS!

LindaLou

Hi Double D! It may sound silly, but I have found that, for me, painting my nails is like therapy. I have tons of polish and try to make different designs on them. There are many websites that I use for ideas. It takes up time (where I used to drink), gets me to focus on something positive and I end up with pretty nails when I'm done. The best part for me....I can do it every day and feel good about myself. Plus its cheaper than wine!

neferkamichael

DoubleDragons, day 39? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. For me now that I have the full range of emotions again, moods swings are the norm, but the intensity of the swings is much less than when I was 39 days sober. What I have done more than anything else is "suffer through" all the junk my brain is throwing at me. Rootin for ya.

wehav2day

dd, you are doing great! 39 days is a huge achievement, one you should be proud of.

folks have mentioned this already, but it's pretty true in my case too. PAWS. your brain is healing from the booze. when we drank, we were stuffing chemicals down our throats that actually changed our brain chemistry. scary crap, come to think of it. but the beautiful thing is when we stopped pouring those chemicals down our throats, our brains started to heal. and they will for at least a year. give yourself some time and patience. be kind to yourself. enjoy the ups, and try to remember that the downs won't last forever.

another thing is going on, too. we are actually now feeling things as they come. with no chemical interference. it can be a total pain in the a##.

SOBER= Son Of a B..., Everything's Real! :-)