Environmental hicups and associated failure
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Edmonton, Alberta
Posts: 35
Environmental hicups and associated failure
Alright, part of me feels like I'm making real progress since I'm no longer feeling that omnipresent craving for alcohol, but, in all honesty, I haven't really quit either. I had a conference to attend and my peers practically heckled me for not immediately ordering a beer when we stopped for lunch (they proceeded to snap a photo of me with my coffee and emailed it to the office with the caption "will be home for dinner"). I live and work in environments where booze is a part of how those social structures function and rather than constantly be thrown into environments where failure will be my constant companion I think I'm going to try to embrace a sober my sobriety in my home and family life. I don't want the drink. I don't need the drink. I'm starting to feel more like the me from years ago...
I've also noticed that my relationship to my spouse is changing. As I'm sobering up I'm feeling increasing disconnected from her. She's not really a drinker, but as I'm embracing a healthier lifestyle and relationship with my kids she just seems to exist on the periphery. If anything, she seems to be growing more detached as I become more involved, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure this is a bad thing. I tend to think that be hasp when we got married I wasn't healthy or really engaged; maybe as I embrace a healthier lifestyle I need to come to the realization that who I am today is not the man my wife married and maybe she wants something or someone else...
I've also noticed that my relationship to my spouse is changing. As I'm sobering up I'm feeling increasing disconnected from her. She's not really a drinker, but as I'm embracing a healthier lifestyle and relationship with my kids she just seems to exist on the periphery. If anything, she seems to be growing more detached as I become more involved, and to be honest, I'm not entirely sure this is a bad thing. I tend to think that be hasp when we got married I wasn't healthy or really engaged; maybe as I embrace a healthier lifestyle I need to come to the realization that who I am today is not the man my wife married and maybe she wants something or someone else...
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scandinavia
Posts: 1,344
I am understanding you as you intend to drink when not at home but stay sober in your home and with your family.
I did practice moderation for years with some luck – I should I realized a 6-8 earlier than I did that it was not the way to go. When I look back I can not understand why I bothered to use that much energy on trying to moderate it, not even before it got problematic. I almost look forward to having a live without it now.
I do not know whether it is a good idea – you should at least be very honest towards yourself how much this moderation is costing you and whether it is worth it.
I did practice moderation for years with some luck – I should I realized a 6-8 earlier than I did that it was not the way to go. When I look back I can not understand why I bothered to use that much energy on trying to moderate it, not even before it got problematic. I almost look forward to having a live without it now.
I do not know whether it is a good idea – you should at least be very honest towards yourself how much this moderation is costing you and whether it is worth it.
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