ment to be
 

Hey everyone.

I am new and I posed earlier today. I wasnt planning on writing about any more problem today but something came up tonight makes me feel finding this site was ment to be. To who ever read my story knows I have struggled with staying clean due to the chaos from the passed 13 months. I lost everything when I started using including a place to live. My mom opened her door to me as long as I wasnt on drugs.

Here is the problem. My mom is an alcohlic and has been for as long as i can remember. Now at 32 years old I am home with my mom who drinks and starts fights with me cuz she doesnt know what she is doing. I have learned alot about addiction from rehab and the very few meetings I have attended. One of them was there is no reasoning with someone who is under the influence. What bothers me and angers me is that she made me feel bad about my addicion . On the other hand I have been watching her my whole life get wasted every night and then I get treated badly by her if something sets her off. I know 100% that she will never see that she has a problem. I know whoever reads this will think, I am sure she could change someday. But I know my mom, it will never happen. When she drinks and gets mad she calls me down and says I am a loser junkie and thinks I am still using. Sometimes I feel like going out and getting hihigh to say

I am hoping someone can guve me suggestions on how to deal with her when she is drunk. Also how I can try to make her see that it hurts me to see her like that, just like I hurt her when I was using. When I was using I figured if my family doesnt see me they won't worry but it was hurting them as much as I was hurting myself when using. I feel like going to get high and say ur right mom that what I am. I Dont scream and yell at her and trust me I want too, but I stand there and let her verbally abuse me. One because I know she is only saying it cuz she is drunk and two I know I was not the nicest when I was using. Fair exchange? Please help me. Any advice. Because with everything that has happened in the 13 months and struggling to stay on the wagon, I Dont need her to be inching me off.

This is a horrible situation you are in.

It's not okay to stand there and let your mother verbally abuse you. It's not.

My suggestion is to do anything to find a way out of there and to live somewhere else.

You do not deserve to be treated that way.

Hi Taradice, I would suggest finding something else to do when she is drinking and being verbally abusive. Best wishes.

I feel guilty about putting my mom through my addiction. I also know she doesnt know what she is saying. I want her to change but that all on her. I have talked to her about the alcohol problem she has..when she is sober. She justifies it by saying, oh I have had the same job for 35 years and do you remember what you put me through. I point out that her problem was way before I started using drugs but she thinks alcohol and drugs are totally seperate. All because alcohol is legal and drugs r not. I guess I should find another place to live but I worry about her falling when she drinks and hurting herself. I have seen her fall many times and get bruises and cuts. I think one time it could be fatal. I love my mom but I hate whoever she is when she is drunk..

Taradice, your desire to look after your mother is nice, but it's not healthy. She needs to look after herself. You are not responsible for her alcoholism.

You need to focus on yourself and your recovery and getting your life together, and listening to your mother blame you for everything and call you names is not going to help.

Yea you right. I just figured she doesn't realize how hurtful she is being at that time, so I let it happen.

Welcome Taradice! Glad you found us!!! :ring

You absolutely do not deserve to be verbally assaulted by your mother. Her being drunk is not an excuse.

You may want to check out the Friends and Family Forum here on SR. Here is the link: Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

You will be reading a lot of posts with the central theme being the 3 C's...
1. You didn't Cause it
2. You can't Control it
3. You can't Cure it

Hope you stick around!!!