So you were all right!!
 

I'm back. Day two now, moderation totally doesn't work. It started well but slowly crept up and i now am ready to admit that total sobriety is the only way forward for me. Am i sad that there will be no more ice cold wine, yeah a little i am, but more excited to get back the inner peace that i was feeling without it for six weeks. And at least this time i won't trick myself that i've done so well i can moderate, because i totally can't.
I hope i'm still welcome

Of course you're still welcome here! We don't shoot our wounded. :hug:

You're more than welcome, apophylite :) :)

Your post will have helped more people than you know :c011:

I'm so glad to see you back.

And, for me it was a total relief when I stopped my determination to moderate. I was exhausted.

Took me 15 years of problem drinking and 10 years of thinking i should give up to come to the same conclusion .
Welcome to the rest of your life, things are a lot more pleasant this side of that decision :)

:You_Rock_

Bestwishes, m

Welcome.

I did the same thing! I had almost 2 months sober and thought I could moderate. Didn't work for me either!

Apophylite,

You are welcome any time...
Glad you realized that cutting down is a Mith!!!

You think just one sip ....
and a sip opens a door to more sips...
and sips... to a bottle... and tomorrow you will want more sips...
maybe you keep away a few days...
but you end up sipping another day and this time you want more...
and it gets thirstier and thirstier...
Until you can not have days off anymore...
and you start rushing around to get the next fix...
And you are in the Trap!!!

Hope you get out of the weel,
we are here for you!!!!

Are you still welcome? What does this tell you?

:nyd:banana::bananadan:banana::nyd



On the contrary, I am ecstatic that you're back. There's no one that's going to understand more why you had to do what you had to do in order to get back here than us.

I think we all feel a sense of relief when we see people return, I know that I do. It's like getting a lost friend back, well, actually it is getting a lost friend back.


So glad that you're here!

Welcome back, Accepting and making peace with the fact that i can't ever moderate my drinking meant i started to get well. Best wishes.

Welcome back apophylite :)

D

welcome back apophylite

Welcome home.

I would say the majority of people on this site have tried the moderation exercise and failed, myself included multiple times.

Welcome back and abstinence seems to be the only way. We will never get drunk if you're not pick up the first drink

thanks everyone, it does feel a bit like i have come home:) It's a relief to finally leave this all behind. Sober christmas and sober holidays seem a bit daunting but i am going to take it one day at a time this time around. Last time i took one day at a time until moderation, i think i was only flirting with sobriety. This time i am going to ask it to marry me and live with me forever:)
I am going to speak to my husband tonight and tell him the true extent of why i am now choosing sobriety. I see it as freeing myself from prison, moderation is exhausting. And what i found was it took me less wine than it did before to get completely wasted. And my first blackout:(
I am considering writing it down as i think it may be easier to be completely honest and not cut corners, does this seem a bit of a wimps way out? He barely drinks from one year to the next and the least addictive personality of anyone i know so i dont know how well he'll understand the beast if you know what i mean.
Any advice?

Yes, welcome home! You are another one of me - and I'm another you!

Apophylite,

You have helped me already by posting today. I have only been sober going on six months. Many times I have wondered if I could moderate (this time) I even had a friend say to me, maybe you will be like an ex-smoker, you will hate the taste now. I know I will not hate the taste, I will love the taste and the vicious cycle will start all over again. Thank you for posting and I am glad you are back and decided on abstinence.

It's great to see you. :) I had to prove it to myself too. I insisted I could use willpower to control it. It took me a very long time to finally surrender. In the process, I nearly lost my life. I'm glad you are back with a new determination.

Welcome back Apophylite; moderation didn't work for me either. I found it was easier to abstain. As for writing it down; great idea. It is SO hard to speak the truth about drinking.