Brothers 50th birthday invitation arrives .
 

Ok , everyone will be going .

I better make an appearance , this is the brother that is the biggest drinker in my family. Everyone will be there .

I'm still reeling from the anger of my 2nd youngest brother as I didn't attend his babies christening a few weeks ago . He went to all my kids;/ the whole family was there.

He told mum and dad that this one is unforgivable , he is done with me not going to things ;(

I love my brother and sisters dearly , but its too toxic a situation for me so soon.

My gut tells me no , but my loyalty says go .

You know your family - if it will compromise your sobriety, I say skip it. Hopefully one day, your sibling will forgive you for missing the Christening. In the mean time maybe write a nice letter expressing why you wish you could be there but just can't and hope they understand.

I'm sorry your brother was angry.

In the end tho, this is your own personal life or death situation - if you don't feel up to it, it's ok to feel that way, and it's even ok that right now others don't understand.

People in my family were angry at me too for a while, but they got over it.

D

SnoozyQ, read your sig line ;)


Seriously though, I feel badly for you. That's one sticky wicket. My brother is a hardcore alcoholic but he still would be totally understanding if I told him that I couldn't attend an event due to alcohol.

It sounds like you're really tentative about making it through and the smart decision would be to not go.

The only other out that I see is do you have a sober friend that you hang with or someone that you can take with you as a protector? Someone who can help to make you feel safe. No one else needs to know why they are there, they are just a friend.

Don't know if that's an option but throwin my 2 cents atcha

You seem to know that it's not going to go well if you are at the party.

This is the time to put yourself first. As Dee said, in time they will understand and appreciate what you have done for yourself.

Thanks guys , that makes sense and Ladyblue lol yes sometimes we should practise what we preach xx ;-)
Once upon a time something like this would have eaten at me for days or weeks , now I can put it out there and feel comfortable with my decision and move on ... Xx