Where I've been & Where I'm at today.
Where I've been & Where I'm at today.
About a month or so ago I made the decision that I wasn't done using. I told myself things would be different this time, and I actually believed myself.
I started out doing the usual, DXM, several times a week, and also sniffing my prescription medication almost every day. I was already feeling miserable, but at that point it was too late for me.
After a few weeks of this I knew it wasn't enough. One night, I planned on staying out for the night and a man whom I never met came and picked me up and that night I ended up shooting crystal meth. All bets were off after that first slam. My "one night out" turned into a week long binge on crystal, and I was mixing it with other drugs such as xanax, alcohol, vicodin, tramadol, and ambien. In order for me to keep getting the drugs I had to sell my body, and any slef-respect that i had left in me was gone. By the end of the week I was in some motel in south carolina(started out in buffalo NY) I lost at least 10 pounds, I didn't sleep for that entire week, my face was broken out and scabbed from me picking at it, I was a complete mess and I felt like I lost my mind.
And to make things worse, this ENITRE time, my family had no clue where I was; whether I was alive or dead. There was a missing persons report out for me and a PINS warrent and I ended up calling the police and turning myself in and I went to jail in south carolina for 4 days.. When I got out and went back to NY I went to jail AGAIN because I missed court while I was gone and had a bench warrent out for me. I spent the LONGEST 11 days of my life in the holding center but It really gave me time to think and evaluate my life and where I went wrong and what I need to do differently.. It was in there that I finally realized that I deserve better than this life I've been living. I was released from jail on Monday.
Today I have 23 days clean, and I feel grateful. I've reconnected with my sponsor and my friends in NA. I go to a meeting and work my program to the best of my ability on a daily basis. And even though it hasn't even been a week since I've been out, I can feel my life heading in a positive direction, and you'll all see me around here a lot more often!
Thanks for reading.
I started out doing the usual, DXM, several times a week, and also sniffing my prescription medication almost every day. I was already feeling miserable, but at that point it was too late for me.
After a few weeks of this I knew it wasn't enough. One night, I planned on staying out for the night and a man whom I never met came and picked me up and that night I ended up shooting crystal meth. All bets were off after that first slam. My "one night out" turned into a week long binge on crystal, and I was mixing it with other drugs such as xanax, alcohol, vicodin, tramadol, and ambien. In order for me to keep getting the drugs I had to sell my body, and any slef-respect that i had left in me was gone. By the end of the week I was in some motel in south carolina(started out in buffalo NY) I lost at least 10 pounds, I didn't sleep for that entire week, my face was broken out and scabbed from me picking at it, I was a complete mess and I felt like I lost my mind.
And to make things worse, this ENITRE time, my family had no clue where I was; whether I was alive or dead. There was a missing persons report out for me and a PINS warrent and I ended up calling the police and turning myself in and I went to jail in south carolina for 4 days.. When I got out and went back to NY I went to jail AGAIN because I missed court while I was gone and had a bench warrent out for me. I spent the LONGEST 11 days of my life in the holding center but It really gave me time to think and evaluate my life and where I went wrong and what I need to do differently.. It was in there that I finally realized that I deserve better than this life I've been living. I was released from jail on Monday.
Today I have 23 days clean, and I feel grateful. I've reconnected with my sponsor and my friends in NA. I go to a meeting and work my program to the best of my ability on a daily basis. And even though it hasn't even been a week since I've been out, I can feel my life heading in a positive direction, and you'll all see me around here a lot more often!
Thanks for reading.
Jake, I'm glad you lived to tell the tale. Very scary.
I had to be brought to my knees to stop too. I knew in my heart where I was headed, but I guess I needed further convincing. Sorry for all you've been through, but proud of you for coming here & talking about it. Now you can start down the road to your new life. We're with you.
I had to be brought to my knees to stop too. I knew in my heart where I was headed, but I guess I needed further convincing. Sorry for all you've been through, but proud of you for coming here & talking about it. Now you can start down the road to your new life. We're with you.
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