Jessicacat1

Day 5 here.Just checking in. hope everyone is well. Stay strong xx

dirk626

Jessicacat1 and Beancounter26 and the rest, we are doing this!!! I had a bad night. Sweats were almost nil. Dreams were there but foggy. No muscle spasms or anything, but my skin seemed hyper sensitive. Like the sheets and blankets were almost painful. I got up and took 3 Ibuprofen and that seemed to help. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for withdrawal. Today I will be travelling for work on a long day so it should be a pretty easy day. So far I haven't had any thing that I would call a craving to drink. Keep up the good fight everyone, and carpe diem!

snipe

Congrats on each and every day Jverch, Jcat, Dirk, Bright, Bean, and any others who are in early recovery. Every day is a victory!

7 days and 15 minutes here (yes my last drink was at 6:30 AM. I had most of a pint of vodka to "stabilize" myself before being driven to rehab).

trudgingagain

Hi Dirk, Jessica, Erick, Brightspot and all others new here! I am on day 29 (after a 3 year relapse, prior to which I had 8 years (relapsed), 3 years(relapsed) and finally a 4 years...then the 3 year relapse)....You can do this! I had drunken dreams many times...it is all part of the process of healing...but, eventually they go away All of my sobriety was using AA, but since there are no meetings where I currently live, I am using online tools like SR, AVRT, etc. Lots of support "out there" these days, unlike when I first got sober. Stick with it....it does get better...Yes, there will be ups and downs...but dealing with them sober is so much better. I used to think that I had problems that only alcohol could give me relief from, until I realized that alcohol was usually either what created the problem or magnified it. "Your expectations are inversely proportional to your serenity"...Keep up the good work....you can do this! SR is a great community with LOTS of support

jverch1

I'm on Day 4! Feeling pretty good! How is yall's sleep? The dreams are still there, I just wake up so easily, almost like sleeping with one eye open. The slightest of sounds and I'm awake. Doing great on occupying my time. I've been exercising and staying busy. I mowed yesterday, the first time without a drink since I can even remember. The bottled water worked just fine. Each day I have grown a bit more positive. The forum is great, Erik, Jessica, Brightspark, Beancounter, Dirk, Snipe (and anyone I may have missed) yall stay strong and be tough. We got this! Remember how to eat an Elephant... One Bite at a Time!

IamLily

Congratulations on day 2! Keep up the good work

beancounter26

Hi jverch and all my week 1 cohorts. Day 6 for me and I sleep so soundly that it's almost like I'm in a coma. These past two days have been my first real tired all day foggy kind of days. I know it's just my body doing what it's supposed to to make things right again. My dreams weren't real crazy last night like they have been. I have noticed the cravings at night have been a little more intense the past couple of nights. It has been an interesting progression so far. Hope everyone is doing well on their journey also. Have a great day!

Bogie

Good for you! I am hanging in there too. Not feeling tip top but hanging in there!

dirk626

First mild craving tonight on the way home from a day trip I had to take for work. I've been to this job maybe 8 times, (3 hours by drive away) and I have yet to drive up or back the same way. I always make a wrong turn somewhere! In bumf*&^ Iowa...are you kidding me? Start calling me "wrong way". Anyway, when I started to feel that itch I said to myself, "It looks like "it" wants a drink. That's a Rational Recovery thing I read about. Then I thought about the article I read here about Urge Surfing. By the time I got through thinking about it it was over. I'm looking forward to getting some real sleep tonight. I have a feeling tonight is the night.

beancounter26

Way to go Dirk! I have been fighting a few cravings the past few nights and have been telling myself "you don't want A drink, you want to drink until your sick and passed out." This fast forward type of thinking is helping me. I like the way you are calling it "It." That separates it from you. Congrats on day 5!

dirk626

Back at you beancounter! I hadn't thought about carrying the thought out to it's logical and historical conclusion. I'm going to add that to my tool belt. Lately, even when I'm not craving, I will pick a particularly painful memory associated with my drinking and focus on it for a few moments. I don't do this to punish myself, but to force myself to see what I have done and to shine an accurate light on what my drinking is. For years I romanticized my drinking by recalling fond memories of me and my buddies just chilling in the sun with a few cold ones. I'll bet out of the thousands of days I have been drunk those "fond" memories equate to less than a hundred days.

Several months ago I created an image in my head of what "it" looked like. I pictured a small wiry disheveled creature that was some kind of a cross between a troll and the little character in the Hobbit that was always trying to get the ring. I pictured "it" following me around and whispering in my ear. Bloodshot eyes and stinking like stale beer, "it" was always trying to coax me into joining him for a little fun.

About two days before I ended my drinking I was relaxing in the recliner kind of knapping. You know half in and half out. I was thinking about "it" and I had a vision. Not supernatural or anything, just a split second vision in my head. In my vision I saw "it", and "it" was not how I imagined. In my vision there was a very large figure standing in the corner of the room. So large it had to bow it's head not to hit the ceiling. (I have 9' ceilings) "It" was hulking and was a light gray, mottled with darker grays and blacks. There was no hair on "it" and it didn't have any facial features at all. "It" didn't speak, it did not have a mouth. "It" didn't see, it did not have eyes. "It" didn't hear, it did not have ears. It was base in nature and extremely dangerous. Not like this little leprechaun like creature that I had imagined. This thing was a monster and it would kill me and destroy everything in it's path to be satisfied.

I know, weird... but I chose to replace that first image with the second. I picture the monster a few times a day know, and I think it helps.

dirk626

Keep working for it! I don't feel like with 5 days in I have any real advice that I would call credible. But what would you tell you if you were me. I say that because I've been told by a few people that I give great advice and should listen to some of the things I tell other people. I think most of us are like that. So I ask you to give yourself some advice. For me, I think the key to my success will be turning off the switch in my head that says there is something, anything, no matter how small that benefits me from drinking. I quit smoking at 31 after many failed attempts. The day I quit, which was two days after I stopped by the way, was the day I emotionally turned off the smoking lamp. Something in my head said that's it, it's over, and it was. It was magic! But it took me months to work up to that split second moment. Do not quit even if you stumble. This is like a car without a reverse. It only goes forward even if there are bumps in the road!

beancounter26

Great post, Dirk. Thanks. We really need to demonize this addiction. I like the way you have described your addiction. It allows you to see it in all it's ugliness; not as the buddy we are accustomed to thinking of it as.

jverch1

DAY 5! How's everyone? Sleep is getting better although my dog almost met his maker last night for barking.... I would just doze off and he would bark... Bam wide wake! Still feeling more positive everyday. Seeing more and more each day that there is life (fun life) without the 12 pack. Yall stay tough!

boombox

Day 4 for me! Doing alright, had a bit of a wobble before-been doing some spring cleaning and found some of my old stashed empties wine bottles. Made me feel AWFUL. What have I become?! Could hear the AV calling me-once an addict always a drinker-but this is just the death throes of this awful monster!! Tricking me into that one more drink....

Not today thank you very much!

xxx

Twofish

Hi Dirk, Beautiful November morning isn't it? Even better looking at it through sober eyes. I hope you are feeling fine and life is being kind to you. You will have many choices to make over the next few weeks to years, I pray you make the right decisions. Take care! TF

trudgingagain

Good for you jverch1 and boombox! Hang in there....it DOES get better! Nice post Dirk...and good for you for quitting smoking as well. Me...I am focusing on one vice at a time. Right now it is drinking....day 24 and now not really thinking about drinking at all

Jessicacat1

Wow Dirk that was some very powerful visualisation earlier in the thread. I will remind myself about that as time goes on. I am coming to the end of day 6 here and feel very good for it.
Dirk, could you (or someone else) help me- you mentioned Urge surfing- could someone help me with this? I don't know this techniques.
Many thanks if you can help xx

trudgingagain

I googled it....good info...but, I think there is a link somewhere on SR....

anyistoomuch

Day 7 for me! That's the longest I've been without alcohol for as long as I can remember...and you know what - so far so good! I know I am not out of the woods yet - in the back of my mind, I do get this feeling that am "just waiting to get back to normal", which meant drinking every day. But that's not a good normal, so I am not doing that anymore.