Sidney14

I don't know what to do, I totally lost it my marbles infront of my 15 year old.
For the last three months with trying to sell and buy a new place my stress levels have gone into overdrive. I have let things get to me I have let people problems emotions affect me into overdrive to the point where I have days where I can't breathe and feel so alone and want to be alone but can't with three kids. I have said horrible things but not directing it to my teenage daughter but might as well have. I have never had so much anger in my whole life in me as much as I have had in the last three months and I am scared I am so scared, I am so scared that I have lost all joy happiness hope and any life in me. I am scared I have damaged my relationship with my daughter for life what teenage daughter needs to see her own mum go spastic............... I feel like I can't breath anymore I don't know what is happening with me I think I can't go on anymore I am just so tired

Dee74

are you still seeing a counsellor Sidney?

D

Jeni26

Hi Sidney. It's good that you're reaching out here. What support have you got around you?

Moving is very stressful and having a teenage daughter is too! What help do you have with the kids to enable you to get some time for yourself? Have you spoken to your doctor/counsellor?

Sidney14

I have my counsellor but kind of sessions dropped of due to me trying two do this moving thing on my own with kids and work I was left with no time to even scratch myself. And now I have four weeks left until settlement period. I have lot complete motivation in everything even my work I don't care much about anymore.....am not sure if I just pushed myself too hard so am now reaping the consequences of it all.

Dee74

Moving is really hard for anyone. I recommend making lists - err on the gentle sidfe but try and get things done.

Can your kids step up to the plate a little and do a little more maybe - help around the house?

Or is there anyone who can help you at all in any way - looking after the kids for a while, or helping you with the settlement - giving you some time so you can connect with your counsellor?

you sound really frazzled. I think some outside help, whatever it is could really help?

D

Sidney14

I am frazzled and lost myself in the whole process. Sadly enough I don't have a support system my Dad is 74 just makes sure to repeatedly let me know the sleepless nights I cause him heart palpitations etc. my ex defacto father of the 3 and 4 year old has them once every 3 to 4 weeks for a few hours, my sister is too busy with her own problems or you could say does not go out of her way to help .... My counsellor is only a sounding board she can't really lift the load, I guess I am angry at myself angry at not listening to my bodies messages when it tells me to stop and take care of myself and let go of all the guilt of joy being there for my girls , I know what I need to do but somehow have stopped. Try one of those books buying and selling for dummies. I was clueless made errors which will be an issue comes settlement finance wise. It feels like a dry relapse with feelings of guilt worthlessness hopeless ness... I have to pull myself together and let go and trust just wish i had not let it go just as I did now with my 15 year old, only because of my issues...

Dee74

I'm sorry - it really does sound a lot to cope with. Are you in AA or NA or anything?

D

Sidney14

I was in a great support group up until the move etc had to let it go unfortunately.... I will be ok I guess I just frightened myself at letting myself go infront of my eldest....

Jeni26

Teenage daughters are infuriating. I know, believe me. Falling out with them comes with the territory. I like to think I'm fairly easy going, but I've found myself having to take time out to avoid full-scale war with mine.

Why not sit her down and have a proper talk with her. Say your sorrys if you have overstepped the mark, but ask for her help to make the situation more manageable. She is old enough to start taking on some adult responsibilities and helping rather than hindering.

Are there other parents around that wouldn't mind sparing an hour or 2 to take on your younger ones? Just to take them out to the park would be a start. Perhaps your older daughter could help here. Moving is hard, and having them under your feet make it impossible.

Remember, this is a phase in your life that will pass. You will be relocated, your finances will sort themselves out, your kids will grow up. No matter how hard it is right now, it won't stay the same forever. And drinking? That will only make this situation a hundred times worse.

Lean on us for support. Ask your daughter to take a more active role. Try and grab a bit of time for you. Speak to your counsellor. Do whatever it takes to get through this phase.

But whatever you do...don't drink x

Dee74

That's a real shame.

The best thing I can recommend then is writing a priority list everyday - get the important stuff done and try and let some of the less important stuff go for now?

Try and take the best care of yourself that you can.
keep posting here too

D

wpainterw

I may be missing something but I haven't noticed any indication that you have sought medical help. Would seeing a doctor be helpful to cope with your anxieties, get you over the rough spots. If so, be careful that the doctor has strict control over the medications, , the amount prescribed, how much you take, how often you renew, etc. Moving is always stressful. Get all the help you can with this rather than doing it all yourself. Drinking would make it much worse.

W.