Had a bad day
 

I know it's been a while since my last post.

I had an awful day today. My (toxic) sister told me that our father died. He did not, but she did it for attention. Freaked me out and drank too much. Dealing with jet lag from work travel. I feel like crap.

Oh Christy....that was awful! I'm so sorry! Do you have plans to get you back on your feet sobriety wise?

Love from Lenina

I'm so sorry, Christy. That is unbelievably cruel.

Stick tight here on SR.

I'm sending you hugs and positivity.

Melina

Currently looking up AA meetings in my new area. I hope I can find the courage to go.

The sad part is that my father has cancer and not doing well. I just don't know why she would do this. It is so confusing.

(((christy))) I can only imagine! If you can, you might look into some bereavement counseling. It helped me so much. families get a little wound up during chronic/ terminal illness. There's Life Transition counseling too, your local hospital might be able to give you some names. maybe your sister and you go? It's not a long term counseling, usually about four to six sessions, just to help get over some of the hurdles.

Love from Lenina

Hi Christy

I am sorry to hear about your relapse. News such as that would make me head for the bottle as well. It is very sad that your sister would do something like that. She must be in a very dark place right now. I hope you rest easy and recuperate well.

Sometimes who knows why people do what they do Christy. I'm glad you're looking for help...I'd definitely be distancing myself from the sis as much as I could.

D

I'm sorry your sister is so cruel.:( Stick here with us, we understand what you're going thru. :hug:

Thanks all for your words. Right now I am scared to quit and scared to keep drinking. I don't want to have withdrawals like I have had in the past. They are so frightening. I tried to call my sister to get an explanation and she won't talk to me. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Hi SoberChristy;
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I don't think withdrawals will get easier with continued drinking, however. . . and if your Dad is terminally ill, do you think preparing sober would be a better choice?

Take care and best wishes

I'd say it's a good thing your sister doesn't answer. Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they should remain in our lives. I had to get ALL toxic people out of my life, including some family members.

I am sorry, Christy. I, too, have learned that not everyone deserves a front row seat to my life and I do get to determine the seating. Take good care!

I am so sorry. You have been on my mind a lot lately. I'm glad you haven't talked to your sister - I think she is pathological. You can't be rational with someone with that level if dysfunction.

Do you have a therapist? Can you consider rehab? I don't want to see you spiral any further.

Hawkeye13 - That is a very valid point. This is all so ironic as my father is an alcoholic as well. He does not drink when he is in chemotherapy (like now), but I know he was still drinking when he was in remission for a year. We are very similar in many ways it seems. You would think I would learn.

Anna/DoubleDragons - I'm starting to see it best to cut her out. The thing that keeps me coming back is our mother. She wants us to be as close as we once were. We are twins after all. I just don't think I can do it with her in my life.

Renarde - It always comforts me to see your comments in my threads. Rehab and therapy is out of the question right now since I do not have health insurance and am in deep debt. These boards and AA are my only options right now.

I'm glad to hear that. I always look for you around SR. SR and AA are good options. Have you ever tried 90 meetings in 90 days?

I have not tried 90 in 90. I really should...

These boards are such a lifeline for me. Keeps my hope alive that recovery is possible.

It is totally possible. Part of my recovery "program" is to come here every day. Could you start 90 in 90 today?

And yes if AA is your option, you totally should!

I think I might have found some meeting options tonight at 8pm near my new apartment. I will try to go... Keeping you all posted. Ugh, the nerves.

How are you? You are on my mind a lot - wondering how you're doing.