first day sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: portland
Posts: 6
first day sober
Well here I am again.... for about the 10th time getting clean.... all want to do is use and im in a viscous brain cycle... im what you would call a funtioning addict. Im 28 just bought my first home, am engaged and have a pretty good life in general. I struggle with being a lesbian and havinb a religious fanatic for my mother. She loves me, but will never approve of my "lifestyle" all the men in my immediate family are hardcore addicts and all my closest friends from childhood are all strung out. Im barley paying my bills and all my free cash goes to drugs... im afraid im not going to be able to pay my bills sometimes due to my addiction. I have many mental strugles but hide it well. I want someone to talk to that i dont know so My gf and I are gett clean and today is the first day. Theres always an excuse to postpone our quit date and I feel like this is temporary. I want to quit for good but I love drugs all in the same. SCREW ADDICTION. I dont know anymore... I have withdrawals and have to work tomorrow.......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
Welcome! this is a wonderful place and you'll never be alone here. Consider reaching out at. NA or some other plan of support. I tried and failed many times to quit alone, couldn't do it. I need the hope and help of my sober friends. Best to you... Ps I am bi so I understand that, too.
marissa Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,443
Hello marissa,
So glad you joined us here on SR.
Yes, it's tough. And such a vicious circle....
but not being able to pay bills, and feeling mentally unwell are so destructive for us.
It took me a very long time to break the cycle, and I so wish I could have done it at your age.
You and your partner can have a wonderful bright future together, in spite of the obstacles around you.
The withdrawal will pass...it really does get better.
So much love,
Venus xx
So glad you joined us here on SR.
Yes, it's tough. And such a vicious circle....
but not being able to pay bills, and feeling mentally unwell are so destructive for us.
It took me a very long time to break the cycle, and I so wish I could have done it at your age.
You and your partner can have a wonderful bright future together, in spite of the obstacles around you.
The withdrawal will pass...it really does get better.
So much love,
Venus xx
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome Marissa. Why don't you join us at th e24 hours club where we commit not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours? It s a fun way to hold ourselves accountable on a very supportive thread and before you know it, all those 24 hours do add up 
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4271857
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4271857
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome marissa. I'm so glad you reached out for some support. 
We all understand what a struggle it is. SR has meant the world to me - I couldn't believe all the help I received by being here. I agree with Venus, it's great you're doing this now. I was in my 50's! We're happy to have you with us.
We all understand what a struggle it is. SR has meant the world to me - I couldn't believe all the help I received by being here. I agree with Venus, it's great you're doing this now. I was in my 50's! We're happy to have you with us.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
The problem with no plan is, when a craving hits, or a temptation arises, and you have no idea what to do...you're in trouble.
It doesn't need to be a 1000 word essay - but think about your support - do you need more?
what changes can you make in your life to minimise temptation?
what can you do when a craving hits?
things like that can really help.
My drug was alcohol but I found urge surfing really helped me with cravings:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
It doesn't need to be a 1000 word essay - but think about your support - do you need more?
what changes can you make in your life to minimise temptation?
what can you do when a craving hits?
things like that can really help.
My drug was alcohol but I found urge surfing really helped me with cravings:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 23
Marissa, Hello from Boston. I am a week and 3 days sober from a Vicodin addiction. I think I am actually in love with that drug! Day one s**ks but stick with it.
I am a 52 year old mom and also a huge supporter of equal rights. Please know that I am sending you love.
I am a 52 year old mom and also a huge supporter of equal rights. Please know that I am sending you love.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Hi and welcome Marrisa,
I have tried many times over the years to give up or at least moderate for some reason it has clicked this time around. to be honest I wasn't getting the buzz that I enjoyed anymore from alcohol so in that sense I count myself lucky.
I hop you both find the strength and conviction to give up. SR and AA are my supports.
CaiHong
I have tried many times over the years to give up or at least moderate for some reason it has clicked this time around. to be honest I wasn't getting the buzz that I enjoyed anymore from alcohol so in that sense I count myself lucky.
I hop you both find the strength and conviction to give up. SR and AA are my supports.
CaiHong
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hi. Welcome to the forum. You are not alone in your struggles with addiction. Having a plan and getting support is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Glad to have you here. Post and read. Read and post. I found that the more support I received the better off I was.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Marissa, sweetie. Not all moms are like that. Im sorry yours is not being supportive of you right now. Perhaps she needs time? I hope she will come around and remember she is your Mother and LOVES you, unconditionally. If she doesn't, it's her issue not yours! Stay strong girl. You can do this!!!
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