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Old 10-31-2013, 06:07 AM   #1 (permalink)

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I think I need help and I'm scared

I have been drinking for years. (I'm in my forties). I have went several months at a time without alcohol but I was smoking pot pretty heavily. I just got a DUI last week. The last five years have not been good to me. Lost several jobs, not directly from drinking but I'm sure it contributed, father passed, cat passed. This last year I've come to the realization that my drinking/smoking pot has caused many, if not all, of my problems. I just moved to a new city several months ago with the hopes of starting fresh and I am back in my old ways. Still haven't found a job. What I have found is a woman who loves me very much and I her. She does not know that I have an addiction issue. I need help, I suspect the underlying causes for my drinking are depression (been treated before) and stress. I am extremely stressed right now with no job, recent dui, living on people's couches, and car about to be repossessed. I'm scared and I need help.
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:13 AM   #2 (permalink)

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Welcome! You've come to a great place for support. Are you planning to quit? Sounds like a good idea. You might try checking out a local AA meeting and see if you hear your story. It's saving my life. Again, welcome!
May 18, 2014- the start of a new life!
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Are you going to stop drinking today? I hope so.

Finding a job when you have a DUI is usually more difficult, butF it can be done. Focus on your recovery and continue to move forward with your life.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 10-31-2013, 06:39 AM   #4 (permalink)

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Yes, I want to quit. I'm drinking right now and it's 6:30 in the morning. I need to look for a job but am too tired to. I've been having sleep issues for the last several years (alcohol related, I'm assume). I am tired all of the time, I drink so I can sleep. Not the only reason I drink but it's another reason. I want/plan to quit drinking today (the irony is I'm drinking now). It just feels like the emotional pain is too much and I drink to make it go away. I do want to stop.
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Old 10-31-2013, 06:41 AM   #5 (permalink)

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Get rid of the rest and stop now
May 18, 2014- the start of a new life!
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Old 10-31-2013, 07:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Fred and welcome;
The alcohol made it very hard for me to sleep too and I was tired all the time.

The thing is, you've got to make a start and first thing in the morning is a good time.

Dump the rest of the booze, hop in the shower, make some coffee and maybe start writing down a plan. Wanting to quiit without steps for action usually don't lead anywhere but back to the bottle.

I found eating some kind of breakfast really helpful in stopping drinking. Even a piece of sausage, an egg, or whatever. Canned fish was my go to as it didn't involve cooking and was a protein shot, but I get everyone can't face fish for brekkie.

It does sound like depression is making things worse and hard to get started. What about finding out what sort of free or reduced cost support services are in your new city to help with that and where they are located?

Hang in there and keep posting!
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Old 10-31-2013, 07:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Hey Fred,

Being scared is okay, its a big step to quit and become successful in a nondrinking/non-smoking lifestyle. Being scared means you know enough of what's going on to realise things can get worse. There is a point though of being too scared. Oftentimes fear can become an overwhelming feeling with all kinds of crazy ideations and its not always easy to sort things out while still drinking/smoking. So quitting really is the first step in getting things done right. And staying quit becomes the next right thing to do it follows of course

You seem to have some good insight into why you drank, and you do want to quit since your dui, so what kind of plans for quitting do you have in hand?

Welcome to SR!
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated." "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." -- Ernest Hemingway
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Old 10-31-2013, 09:58 AM   #8 (permalink)
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to SR! I'd suggest pouring out the rest of the booze and quitting today. Make today the first day of a better life. You can do this.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

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Old 10-31-2013, 10:15 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR

Were not drinking today, fancy joining us, see how you feel in the morning. Great !
You can't become if you only say, what you would have done.
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Old 10-31-2013, 10:27 AM   #10 (permalink)

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Welcome fred789, you say that you moved for a fresh start. Today can be the fresh start that you are looking for if you quit drinking. You can get rid of the rest of the alcohol and start now. If you are already feeling stressed drinking will only add to your problems. You will stand a better chance at finding a job if you are sober. This is a really good place for support. Best wishes.
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Old 10-31-2013, 10:47 AM   #11 (permalink)
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This is the place to be Fred. The wealth of experience and knowledge and openness on this site never cease to amaze me.

Having a plan is what you will here most people say you most need.

Do you have one?
I've paid enough, not paying anymore

- april 2018 -
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Old 10-31-2013, 11:29 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I decided to quit a few days ago when I too realized that pretty much everything bad that had happened to me was somehow related to drinking. Once you realize that it's up to you to make the choice to get that out if your life. I'm also scared it's not going to be easy, but it beats the alternative. Clearly if it's caused you detriment in the past it will only cause you more in the future. Don't loose that special someone that loves you because of drinking. That will undoubtedly be harder than making the positive choice to get your life in order. I'm excited to see the good things in my life that will come from my decision to stop, I've been a heavy drinker for 15 years, I don't really know my adult life without it but I want to find out how good it can be. I hope you join me!
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Old 10-31-2013, 11:52 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Morning, Fred. I hope you've poured the poison down the drain. Start by making a commitment to stay sober for the next 24 hours. It is easier to take it one small step at a time. Spend some time here reading and posting. Maybe find an AA meeting when you are ready. It is okay to say, "I can't do this on my own." My healing didn't start until I spoke those words. There are so many people who have gone through exactly what you are going through. We're here to help. Welcome!
I do not thank God for opening the gates of heaven and letting me in; I thank God for opening the gates of hell and letting me out.
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Old 10-31-2013, 05:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi Fred
there's no better day to start than today.

You didn't mention being concerned about withdrawal - if you are see a Dr.

Your fresh start is waiting...ready when you are...the longer you put it off the harder it will be, trust me.

do you have any plans on how you'll stay sober?

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Old 10-31-2013, 05:09 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Welcome Fred. I'm glad you found us & that you want to reclaim your life. There's all sorts of help, encouragement and support here - and we all understand how you feel.

I always thought alcohol was helping me cope with life - but in fact it was doing just the opposite. My anxiety was through the roof, it was never fun or relaxing in the end. Each time I drank it led me to a terrible place - and danger. It was so good to get free. You can do it Fred.
You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. Fr. Greg Boyle

A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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