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-   -   Cannot go to socials (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/312025-cannot-go-socials.html)

Acheleus 10-28-2013 09:29 PM

Cannot go to socials
 
Went to a social with peers held in a bar. I ordered non alcoholic drink but felt awkward there. Drank and now pissed at myself, so I will stay on my own and not try to socialize. I am sick and tired of this. If I was not in school I would go to a treatment center. I was so lonely I just wanted to hang out with someone. :react

Renarde 10-28-2013 09:35 PM

Could you possibly take a leave of absence from school and go to rehab?

Acheleus 10-28-2013 09:46 PM

No I can finish I just have to stay by myself. Why does everyone in their twenties drink? I did not descend into drinken hell, but I am not strong enough to go to public alcohol places.

MIRecovery 10-28-2013 09:58 PM


Originally Posted by Acheleus (Post 4263882)
No I can finish I just have to stay by myself. Why does everyone in their twenties drink? I did not descend into drinken hell, but I am not strong enough to go to public alcohol places.

Lots of sober 20 somethings in AA. Check YPAA Young people in AA. Not all young people drink. That is a lie alcohol tells you

Dee74 10-28-2013 10:23 PM

I agree with MIR Acheleus.

Maybe something like AA or another meeting based recovery group would fit your desire for human interaction, while still safeguarding your sobriety?

D

advbike 10-28-2013 10:30 PM

Sorry to hear it man. I was kinda worried for you when you posted about feeling lonely and wanting to go out. I just go to coffee shops and bookstores - places like that, and there are a LOT of young people in them, working away on their laptops. Some cute ones too :)

You know, in a lot of the high tech towns I've lived in, at least out west here, the sharpest people don't drink so much. Lot of these super successful young people don't touch the stuff. They're too busy conquering the world. That old college drinking culture is passe my friend. You can do better.

digdug 10-28-2013 10:31 PM

I'm 31. Most of my current friends are in their 20s and early 30s.

They are all sober. I met them all in AA. A young people in AA group.

Isolation is clearly a trigger for you. It's becoming a paradox. You isolate because you're afraid that if you're around other people, you'll drink. But then the isolation fills your mind with insanity.

I'm the same way. I completely understand.

You can't hide in your apartment forever. Even if you don't drink, you'll be miserable. That's no way to live a sober life. You deserve a happy, sober life.

So I'm going to keep saying it until you tell me to shut up. Go to your AA meetings (I'm assuming there are some young people there, given you are on a university campus; if not, find a young people's group), put yourself out there, talk to people, get numbers, call, and just see what happens. Don't set yourself with expectations of failure.

I promise you with all my heart that if you do the above, you will be pleasantly surprised at the results. There are people out there who can relate to you and will want to spend time with you in sober situations. You just have to put in the minimal amount of effort to find them.

Take that first step.

Acheleus 10-28-2013 10:39 PM

There is a young persons group every Friday. I used to be scared to go because I thought I looked too old. Advice heeded and will keep posted about my getting out there. I cannot spend all my time alone.

MythOfSisyphus 10-29-2013 12:53 AM

Could you work PT around school? Call me crazy, but I love going to work. My job can be stressful and hectic but I like the social aspect of it. When I'm off work I go to school, but the last couple semesters have been online instead of up at the campus, so socially I don't see anyone. I'm kind of asocial/ambivalent about humans a lot of the time!:lmao People are great in theory, not so much in practice. Seriously though, maybe a PT job? Or some type of group centered around a hobby.

Booze as a social crutch is probably one of the biggest reason that so many otherwise-normal young people start drinking. A little is a social lubricant, but we can't take just a little lubing- we tend to get greased!:headbange

Hang in there, A. Rome wasn't built in a day. You can figure something that will help you social but preserve your sobriety.:ring


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