Change Needed
 

Went to the hospital in Vegas for alcohol poisoning last month. Blacked out..woke up in a hospital bed, scary as hell. As if that wasn't enough...I just got a DUI a couple nights ago. When I have so much going for me (good job, great family, amazing new bf) - my self destructive drinking (at the age of 25) is slowly and surely hurting me and my relationships. I need to stop drinking all together I feel like - once I get in the zone of around 3 drinks..It's like a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde moment. I get angry, emotional, IMPULSIVE. What is everyone else doing to start fresh? What's the long term recommendation? Am I an alcoholic? I work in an industry where social drinking is the norm. I feel like I couldn't escape the occasions of being exposed to alcohol. I want to change, I'm afraid to lose it all.

Hi Hopeful. Cliche or not- take it a day at a time. I reached that point as well where I simply knew I would loose it all if I didn't quit- especially my health. No one can say whether someone is or is not an alcoholic- you really need to answer it for yourself. Take a month or better away from all drink and evaluate. Is the desire too strong? Have you suffered physical withdraws? Blacking out is never a good thing- glad you know that and have decided to join us- if even for a short time. Browse the boards- you are bound to find oodles of help and answers to your questions!

Welcome to SR Hopeful. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic, but many of the things you list are definitely red flags ( blacking out, losing control after a certain number of drinks, harm to other parts of your life, etc ).

As far as recommendations go, that depends on what your goal is. Do you desire to quit drinking completely? If so SR is a great place to find direct support and information about many of the recovery methods you might consider. Some even use SR as their main tool in staying sober ( me included ).

Your fear of losing it all is a very valid fear - because you will most likely lose it all if you continue down the path you are on. People lose their families, homes, and even their lives each and every day due to alcoholism. The good news is that it's 100% preventable if you make the right choices. That choice might be total abstiance for the rest of your life - which also sounds scary, but it's a lot less scary than the alternative.

Regarding your work, drinking is the "norm" in just about every social circle. So that's really just an excuse people use to keep drinking. It's entirely possible to live a very successful life in any industry without drinking.

Read lots here and ask lots of questions - we can hopefully steer you towards the resources you need to get better if that is what you choose.

Hi liberated - I appreciate the support. One day at a time..I feel like I function in spurts. I'm not someone who can't survive sober. I just get into these situations..where I lose control. You're right that these questions to be answered by yourself. I need to find the willpower inside of me. Unfortunately, when I drink I become a different person.

Hi Hopefulbinger, I agree with liberated. Take it as it comes. Be in the present. We are here for you. I strongly recommend urge surfing to lesson anxiety and manage cravings.

Welcome hopefulbinger! I am on day 14, following many years in and out of sobriety. Yes, social drinking is the norm....for normal drinkers. It isn't for me. I have tried again and again to drink socially or to moderate my drinking. It always ended up that I would either black out or embarrass myself or just feel plain lousy in the morning. Normal drinkers don't usually ask themselves if they are an alcoholic....but, only you can tell. I agree with the others about browsing the forums and read...read...read. Best wishes to you!

Hopefulbinger,
I concur with the others. Sobriety is something you have to work at. In my case, I didn't have a lot going at the time. I was broke, my wife had left me, and I fell into a deep, deep spiral. I nearly lost everything before I found AA and online places like this one, though I am also new here. There is no secret to sobriety other than to recognize that everyday without a drink is a victory, and as you continue to build those victories they can start to become easier. Don't forget that as bad as it may seem now, you have people who care about you, and I hope places like this can provide you the help and guidance you need to make it through this difficult period.
Keep coming back.