Scared of being alone
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
You are far less alone than you envision Ach. You have everyone here, and I believe you said you've been going to meetings too, right? I'm sure there are groups you could become involved with through school as well. Don't "push" things too hard though - these things take time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I know it's hard when you have all these competing desires.
I found that sometimes it involves a little faith Ach - faith that everything will be ok....
if you put in the work on your recovery now, you'll find that in a little while you'll be able to go anywhere and do anything and not have your recovery put at risk.
D
I found that sometimes it involves a little faith Ach - faith that everything will be ok....
if you put in the work on your recovery now, you'll find that in a little while you'll be able to go anywhere and do anything and not have your recovery put at risk.
D
You're doing great. Just keep moving. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
I work home alone a lot (everyone is at school/work) - which is how I was able to drink so much. I find listening to speakers online. It's like XA- speakers or something. I would post the link, but I think that's against the rules. You can google it. I love listening to those when I'm doing whatever.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
What happened to the plan of getting some numbers from people in AA and giving them a call? Just ask them to grab some coffee or something. You will not get rejected unless they already have plans. I promise. I love when newcomers call me or ask me to coffee.
Drinking will keep you in the prison of alcoholism.
But staying sober doesn't have to keep you locked up too.
Drinking will keep you in the prison of alcoholism.
But staying sober doesn't have to keep you locked up too.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Acheleus 
All I want to do is not be tempted by alcohol.
Acheleus have you planned something for tomorrow to feel less alone? What about chatting with a fellow student and ask how s/he is going with the current assignment.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: north hollywood, ca
Posts: 70
I understand completely..Since I returned home from rehab I've come home to having no friends left...no husband...I have other family around and one would think that's enough...But I constantly have the perception that I am isolated, afraid, alone....
Meetings would help, I'm sure...but I cannot manage to get my foot out of the door...Anybody else feel social anxiety after they got sober??
Meetings would help, I'm sure...but I cannot manage to get my foot out of the door...Anybody else feel social anxiety after they got sober??
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Hi NewMe32,
How did you get along with everyone else in rehab? Did you feel a connection to the other patients? Were you able to open up?
When I got out of rehab, I had no one. My ex-girlfriend dumped me two days before I went inpatient. I had no friends. My family wasn't talking to me.
I drank myself into isolation. I never drank in bars. Only alone in my apartment. I realized early on that isolation is a trigger for me. I can go to a bar with alcohol and not have a single craving. But put me alone with my thoughts, and I could easily drive myself to the next drink.
For me, AA is just like an extension of rehab. So much support without the expectation of anything in return.
I also have severe anxiety. I didn't share for the first few months of going to meetings daily. I really had to push myself to talk to people after meetings.
Sobriety, especially early sobriety can be uncomfortable. For me, the trick was to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. I had to keep telling myself, what's the worst possible outcome of this situation? And I would remind myself that the only real negative outcome could be that someone who I barely know wouldn't want to talk to me. That's not such a horrible scenario if you really think about it.
And the truth is, that outcome never even happened. Everyone I forced myself to talk to was warm, engaging and supportive.
AA gave me sober friends. People who I can call if I'm hurting. People who will meet me for coffee or dinner just to hang out. I needed that face to face interaction to keep me from isolating. If I don't show up to a meeting for a few days, my phone blows up with text messages from people who care wondering if I'm ok. That's what's kept me sober.
How did you get along with everyone else in rehab? Did you feel a connection to the other patients? Were you able to open up?
When I got out of rehab, I had no one. My ex-girlfriend dumped me two days before I went inpatient. I had no friends. My family wasn't talking to me.
I drank myself into isolation. I never drank in bars. Only alone in my apartment. I realized early on that isolation is a trigger for me. I can go to a bar with alcohol and not have a single craving. But put me alone with my thoughts, and I could easily drive myself to the next drink.
For me, AA is just like an extension of rehab. So much support without the expectation of anything in return.
I also have severe anxiety. I didn't share for the first few months of going to meetings daily. I really had to push myself to talk to people after meetings.
Sobriety, especially early sobriety can be uncomfortable. For me, the trick was to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. I had to keep telling myself, what's the worst possible outcome of this situation? And I would remind myself that the only real negative outcome could be that someone who I barely know wouldn't want to talk to me. That's not such a horrible scenario if you really think about it.
And the truth is, that outcome never even happened. Everyone I forced myself to talk to was warm, engaging and supportive.
AA gave me sober friends. People who I can call if I'm hurting. People who will meet me for coffee or dinner just to hang out. I needed that face to face interaction to keep me from isolating. If I don't show up to a meeting for a few days, my phone blows up with text messages from people who care wondering if I'm ok. That's what's kept me sober.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
NewMe32 and Acheleus- you aren't alone! Sorry, A...read the other thread. Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You will rise again!
I've been sober for a just over a year. Sometimes I feel like I moved to a new, alien planet. There are rough days here and there but great days, too. Drinking was a leveler for me; no super highs or extreme lows, just a low, fuzzed out drone of ennui. "Regular life" ie the sober time between fixes, that seemed like the dream and my nightly "journey" the real life. How much things have changed!
I wish I had a magic bullet to offer you both. I'm blessed/cursed with a certain...ambivalence about socializing. While I think of myself as a humanist and compassionate I sometimes like people in the abstract more than in the flesh. My job provides me with enough human contact to satisfy that desire, while places like SR allow me to connect on a deeper level with people that understand what life is like for me, getting/staying sober.
Maybe look for a part time job? Or a club focused on a hobby you like? Even some kind of charity work could get you out and about, as well as giving you a chance to make a positive impact in the lives of others.
I've been sober for a just over a year. Sometimes I feel like I moved to a new, alien planet. There are rough days here and there but great days, too. Drinking was a leveler for me; no super highs or extreme lows, just a low, fuzzed out drone of ennui. "Regular life" ie the sober time between fixes, that seemed like the dream and my nightly "journey" the real life. How much things have changed!
I wish I had a magic bullet to offer you both. I'm blessed/cursed with a certain...ambivalence about socializing. While I think of myself as a humanist and compassionate I sometimes like people in the abstract more than in the flesh. My job provides me with enough human contact to satisfy that desire, while places like SR allow me to connect on a deeper level with people that understand what life is like for me, getting/staying sober.
Maybe look for a part time job? Or a club focused on a hobby you like? Even some kind of charity work could get you out and about, as well as giving you a chance to make a positive impact in the lives of others.
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