seashell2005

I can't believe I've done this. Here I am, 4 month sober and very proud of it.
I was invited to a very fancy dinner at a friend's house last night and I was determined not to drink any alcohol. It was a small group of people and "wine tasting" was involved. The host presented a very expensive wine from Italy (Brunello de Montalcino 1993) and I just couldn't resist. I've only had two glasses, not more but I feel awful. I feel like I've broken a promise and my hard work is going down the drain...
Funny, I've consciously stopped after the second glass and did not crave any more. (I used to drink a bottle a night on a bad day).

Am I ever going to reach soberity? I managed going through dinners before not drinking anything. But I think I have a special emotional attachment to fine wine. Anyone who can relate to this?

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again. Get yourself back up and start all over. I used to love fine wines too, but when things got worse I'd drink the cheapest stuff I could afford, not for the taste but for the numbness it brought me.

AlefVavResh

You know you can do it, and you know how last night made you feel. So now you know two things you didn't know four months ago Be gentle with yourself.

Mountainmanbob

Been down that road a few times
best if willing
start a new sobriety date
sometimes we easily throw away our days sober
can be a lesson learned
I may know what not to do next time
mm

ScottFromWI

I can relate, I have a very fond attachment to Beer and everything that goes along with it. ( Craft beers, brew pubs, beer festivals, etc. ).

Look at it for face value. Your goal is sobriety, and you drank. Is it the end of the world? Definitely not. Does it tell you that you still need to work on your sobriety? Definitely yes. Perhaps a wine tasting dinner wasn't the best place to go relatively early in sobriety....unless you were unaware that it would be a wine tasting?

Don't let the fact that you stopped after 2 give you a false sense that drinking "just a couple" is OK either - it's way to easy to do so and things escalate quickly.

Bottom line, it was a lesson learned - move forward and build on the experience.

JuliaGulia99

I can totally relate to your post. I love wine. Expensive or affordable. I've been trying to stay away from any gatherings where I think there will be alcohol. Don't beat yourself up too much. You slipped but today is a new day. You can start sobriety again.

DoubleDragons

Thanks for being honest, Seashell. I was very, very tempted to have a glass of wine with dinner this past Saturday because I was celebrating my wedding anniversary. I think I could have kept it at 1-2, as well. What scares me is the slippery slope. When does it go from an occasional exception to drink alcohol to the regularity it had become, with an occasional very embarrassing episode?!? I just don't think I have the level of control needed and even if I did, I don't want to live my life centered around controlling alcohol intake. I think it is a wonderful sign that you felt the need to come to SR and 'confess'. To me that inherently shows that you are picking sobriety over drinking.

Toffee1

Red wine is a killer isn't it? But it isn't the end of the world and I know you must be disappointed about it. Don't get too caught up in how many days,weeks or months. I know it is nice to hit milestones but it is more important that our health is improving because we are not drinking. So put this behind you and think off all the good things you have done over the last few months. They have not been wasted.no way.

Coldfusion

Yeah, you broke a promise but your hard work is not down the drain. Just the fact that you posted here shows that your are becoming a better person.

I do not have the strength to put myself in a wine-tasting situation. I think it is best to avoid such situations rather than try to cope with them.

DoubleBarrel

This seems to be addictive voice talking.

Would we really enjoy wine if there were no alcohol in it? Fermented grapes? Kind of disgusting when you think about it, really.

Wine lovers seem to be the hardest to get over the notion that we just like the taste.

I always drank wine in moderation. Thats because I did like it with a meal, and then continued drinking whatever else.

But that voice in your head, the one thats saying its ok to just have a couple? I know where that leads me in the end.

Sounds like you had a close call. 2 glasses is half a bottle, and you used to drink a bottle at a time.

Its tremendously easy to slide right back to where we were, and beyond, in my experience.

alphaomega

It gut wretching when we break a promise. Even moreso when that promise is to OURSELVES after many years of selling ourselves short by falling into a bottle. I know this pain because I have done it. But you know what ? Just like Thomas Edison said -

"I haven't failed. I just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

I would have had to seriously check myself with that bottle being presented. ANd then I would have had to remind myself that its nothing more than yeast poop.

Soldier on.

XO AO

advbike

I have an emotional attachment to wine also, especially when it is part of a romantic or otherwise exciting experience. And as a result I have to avoid situations where it will be offered in a way that pulls on me. For example, I visited friends out of state a few weeks back who are very moderate drinkers and it didn't bother me at all to see them have a glass of wine with dinner. But if I were to go out to the coast and stay in Carmel or Mendocino with a romantic partner, and eat in some of those incredible restaurants... it would be a major struggle. Probably a fail. So I'm avoiding that type of thing for now.

Don't beat yourself up, but it is *very important* that you don't drink further. I have been down this path both ways - abstaining further as well as giving in to it. Right now your body and brain have accomplished a lot of healing and have actually physically changed at the cellular level. You are healthier, even with a slip. If you put a stop to it right now, you can move on in a healthy way. You might have a few more cravings but they will be gone very quickly. Personally I wouldn't give a crap about resetting the sobriety date - it's up to you - but just do not drink more.

But you are now on very thin ice. It won't take more than another drink or two before you will start to undo the beneficial cellular adaptation that has occurred and initiate the damage cycle. Once you have a few more drinks, your body will want more, your liver will begin adapting, you will quickly build tolerance. Then you will be right back where you started four months ago. Trust me on this - it will happen *very fast*, but you can stop it now if you want to. Think back to why you quit in the first place.

pinkdog

Hi seashell, make a plan ahead of time. What will you do next time. Saying "no" gets easier with repitition. Being sober is about changing behavior. You have to identify the situations that trigger you and choose a different response. Best wishes.

trudgingagain

I can totally relate. I relapsed this time and one reason I continued was that we met a Swiss couple who drink red wine with dinner. (This sounds like an excuse even as I type it...ugh!) We became good friends and would often go to dinner with them, have "game days" followed by dinner, etc. The problem was that they had ONE (maybe two) glasses of wine with dinner. PERIOD. Me??? I think I was at about 5 (keeping in mind that I drank before (at home) before meeting them for dinner. They are "normal" drinkers. I am not. They never said anything, but I ended up embarrassing myself on more than one occasion. Good for you that you stopped at 2 and for being honest here. Days/months/years are only numbers....do it for yourself. It was just a slip....not a total relapse....don't beat yourself up....Glad you are back!

SnoozyQ

Arghhhhh i feel for you , i really do
What's done is done

I don't know what I would have done in your situation either , that's why i avoid every outing like the plague at the moment.

I'm only just 4 months today and still too new in to trust myself.

But I guess the bottom line is for me is that it could be the finest vintage in the cellar , but if it quacks like a duck , its a duck.

Still filled with the same poison as a $5 bottle and still the same end result for me !

Let's try for your next 4 ;-) xxx

longbeachone

We ALL can relate! Yes you can reach sobriety. Believe it.

ZeldaFan

This is very true. While I may only be on day 9 of sober days straight, I have had 53 out of the last 57 days sober. The improvements in that time have been amazing. Keep up the good work and don't beat yourself up too hard over a small slip.

sommertime77

Hey there what it sound like to me is what the Big Book calls the obsession of the mind and the physical craving of the body which creates a phenomenon of allergy to the drink. The fact that you stopped is because you had a tummy full of wine and a head full of sobriety! Interesting combination. I know all too well how this feels my kicker was any drink put in front of me I could always do controlled drinking for the first two or three times but eventually the obsession would come back and it comes back hard! But once I did this a few times I quickly diagnosed myself an alcoholic, (which took some humble honesty), but I did realize for myself I am of the hopeless variety of drinkers to drink is to die.
Getting an AA sponsor and continuously going to meetings especially working the 12 step program has changed my life drastically. Has it been easy no, but I wouldn't change it because it works, I have been in the situation where I was somewhere they served alcohol, and realized I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable but I am not powerless over leaving the function so thank God for my sponsor who reminded me that I don't have to stay and obsess over the drinks I think I miss. I encourage you to find an outlet that will help you so you can stay sober, protect your sobriety like you would protect your child.

Dee74

Hi Seashell

I'm glad you're back.

I identify. I did things like that all the time.

Time and again I would find myself in situations where I was tempted - and I had nothing, no skills at all, to deal with that temptation.

Eventually I realised I needed to change my life - my old life had many many opportunities to drink.

I needed to stop putting myself in risky situations, at least for a while, and I had to find more support....I had to make real definite 'do this' kind of plans for those times when I was genuinely ambushed by alcohol.

I relapsed so often for so many years.
I realised eventually my recovery had to be a priority, or I was sunk.

things changed after that - I know they will with you too
D

seashell2005

Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm firmly decided to stay on the soberity path...
I just hope that one day I can look at a great bottle of wine without the incredible urge to drink it. Is the craving ever going to pass?