Back to day 3... again
 

Thought I could make it through some weddings/ bachelorette parties, etc and I was wrong. Now I have been wasted at least 3 times this month and I am feeling like a douche. I missed work on Saturday. I was so lucky I found someone to cover my shift, because I don't know what I would have done. I was so sick there was no way I could have gone in. Now I am nervous to go in to work today to see if anyone says anything about it. When I first started this job I was not drinking. I started again while I was there and now a few people have seent the wreck I can be when I drink. It is so embarassing.

Anyway, I started keeping a journal about how I am feeling (awful) so that maybe next time I am feeling like it would be ok to drink I will read it over and remember that it won't be ok. I'm not an OK drinker and I can't let me trick myself into thinking I am.

Day 3, feeling down, but I guess happy to be back to working on myself. This time, I hope, for good.

Staying away from places where alcohol was being served was essential for me.

I'm glad you see how important it is to change that part of your life.

Yeah there are a few upcoming gatherings/functions I know I cannot attend as there will be copious amounts of alcohol served. Maybe a few months down the line but the temptation would be to great this early in my sobriety so I am choosing to stay away. At least for now.

Best of luck my friend

I alsoavoided functions with alcohol as much as possible initially. If it wasn't possible I ate before I arrived (hunger lowers my defences, I think it's a blood sugar thing) and left very early.

Keeping a journal of how you feel is a good reminder. I took a photo of myself and that sure put me off a few times when I was tempted!

I'm glad you're giving it another go. :)

Glad you are back giving recovery another chance.

You made an almost identical post a year ago. I'm not saying this to upbraid you, just that your hope that journalling will help you remember how bad you feel is a vain one.

The problem with alcoholism is that we have insufficient strength to draw on our memories when the need arises. You prior posts here on SR document your problems with drinking, but they didn't prevent it.

Have you thought about a solid recovery plan or substance abuse prevention program to help you?

Yeah I definitely did post something similar last year. I'm working on a plan now though I haven't figured it all out. I have the day off tomorrow and plan on doing some research. I talked to my doctor about getting some counseling info but haven't followed up with it yet. I suppose I should do that.

Thanks for all the replies