freshstart57

Welcome, gaudi, great to meet you! It is so kind and generous of you to join us for the express purpose of helping others.

Flujays, that is not true. In fact, folks like Gaudi and I are the norm rather than the exception. There are lots of us who quit without meetings. I am not saying this to denigrate your sobriety, but someone new reading your post might mistakenly believe you.

I like your idea, Gaudi, of being a distant detached observer of the actions of others. It is also very empowering to become a detached observer of our own thoughts, which allows our cognitive abilities to dictate our own behaviour. This is a form of relapse prevention, and is useful in many other aspects of life too.

Gaudi, we need more folks like you here who are kind enough to carry the message that we can indeed end our addictions, just as you and I have. We can believe we have the power to quit, and then do it. I understand that once we end our addictions, life can be too busy to share the experience with others who continue to struggle. However, if more like you told their stories, we would not hear the claim repeated that we do not exist in the majority we do.

Thank you for joining us, and for your generosity of spirit. Your support is most welcome here.

gaudi

Glad you like the bubble! I did AA with my ex-husband (for him) and I did Al-Anon and Families Anonymous (for me). I found it all rather depressing, and liked you just wanted to say "who's up for going to the pub?"! But you are right and for some it is wonderful. I used to love living alone too. Now I live "alone" with my husband. We are both very independent and do a lot separately but love living together. I hope you find the same one day. Also one day it probably won't matter to you if you have a partner who is an occasional drinker.

gaudi

Thank you Freshstart. Actually I feel so lucky that the more time passes the more I want to give back and to be able to help those who might benefit. When I gave up the one thing I would have benefited from was a site like this and maybe someone to bounce ideas off. I didn't find one other than AA but maybe I didn't put the right question in the search engine. The one thing about giving up the booze is that you feel isolated much of the time and it is hard to just rely on oneself to keep positive in our convictions. I often stand outside myself to look in! I think this was one of the things that helped me to see myself as I truly was. i skipped the denial phase of our disease and stuck with ruthless honesty at all times. I have to say I'm a great one for cutting to the chase and I really couldn't be bothered to battle with "denial" when the truth was staring me in the puffy face!!!!

It is great to be here and thank you so much for your kind words.

Aiko

Can I ask is AA very religious???

As I do not believe that there is a higher power that is going to sort me out...
I think it is me who has to stop...
If they start talking religiously... I am not going to last a meeting...
and I promised I would go yesterday but I am rethinking it...

Ps:
Antoni Gaudí is one of my favourite Arquitechts...
If you have not go to Barcelona to see Gaudi´s art

jdooner

It depends on the meeting but in general yes there is a religious and spiritual angle. It is agnostic to denomination but spirituality is core to the process. Perhaps reading the Big Book (sort of the defining book for AA) before you go to your first meeting? See if you can relate to the book and the stories and then attend

gaudi

Hi Aiko. No AA is a non-religious organisation but I think it is step 3 which say that you "hand over to your higher power". They say that can be anything (even the fridge) and you hand over your control. I never quite got it! But I think you should give it a try in case it works for you. I can only comment because I've been to meetings and know how it goes. My ex-husband was also in a rehab clinic for 3 months and they were AA based. And Gaudi is the name of my dog, who is from Spain. My name is Venetia but the name was already taken so I used his!!! And, yes, I've been to Barcelona and seen La Familia - amazing isn't it? We called our puppy Gaudi because he and the cathedral are a work in progress!!! Good luck tomorrow. Give it a try.

gaudi

In the UK I never went to a religious based meeting jdooner, but some was a bit spiritual I guess. Mostly it was ritualistic I'd say.

Aiko

How are you going to hand over your control to some god, spirit or fridge???
Is it like translate your will to some power???
How can you translate your actions and expect it will sort you out???
Does not make sense to me...

I got an on line copy of AA I have to print it at work when no one is in...
I think I am going to get better with the AVRT book...

I suppose we all are work in progress like your dog...

Thanks for your input

jdooner

Aiko, AA is says its not religious but most of the people that attend are - there are some who are agnostic and even atheist and I think a few post here regularly. I attend AA but there is a prayer at the beginning and end of each meeting. Most of the people who attend will openly speak about religion and God, some will say their higher power but few mean a fridge - I think it is really meant to be more Buddhism in the sense of energy - my take so no offense to anyone.

That said, I think the program can help someone who is not religious so I did not want to scare you off, as a result. But you should have some level of preparedness before attending a meeting. Read the Big Book it should provide a pretty good basis for the program and even if you never do AA, I think the book has tons of merit and good advice. I believe the spiritual side of AA is actually what is needed to recover through AA's program though.

I don't know much about AVRT but there are many on this site that do and it sounds like it might be a better fit. Good luck.

gaudi

I hope you realise that I meant "fridge" as a bit of a joke, although only a bit as I did know a man who used his classic car! Some use a dead loved one. Some use nature. I had trouble with the "handing over" part, so it isn't for me. But maybe you should still attend one meeting just to see. I the days when I went with my ex we both got our strength from the other people there. I feel it is more about the group. Oh and some people used the group as their higher power. I really didn't feel it was too religious but perhaps it depends on the group. Having said that one of the people who created AA was a priest!

DoubleDragons

Hi, Gaudi. Welcome. I am 28 days sober with red wine being my DOC. I am a very positive person, too. I think you might have been my "angel in disguise" tonight. I am going out to celebrate my wedding anniversary tonight and I was very tempted to have a glass of wine with my dinner. Your positive bubble idea really resonated with me and I am now feeling pretty resolute not to have the wine.

How lovely of you to come and be an inspiration to the good people here at SR! Merci!!

gaudi

Good luck DoubleDragons. Enjoy the evening being safe in yourself and looking on from a distance. You can do it. Don't give in. You will be so proud of you in the morning. If you drink you will regret it. It's not worth it. Have fun and I hope your bubble helps.

gaudi

and DoubleDragons this might help too.

"Traveller, there are no paths. Paths are made by walking".

Choose your path and stay on it.