Toal Eclipse of the heart
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 6
Toal Eclipse of the heart
I don't know why I'm writing this email.
I'm 34 years old and want my life back.
But I love drinking and hate being sober.
I quit for one night and then resume my habits.
Lately I have made a lot of improvements, thanks to giving up my job and reducing my stress load. Unfortunately financial pressures mean that I'll soon be stressed out again and I don't know how I'll cope without alcohol.
I was a binge drinker between the ages of 25 and 28, became a nightly drinker after that and soon progressed to 1.5 to 2 litres of wine a night. Lately I have cut down to a six pack of beer (less alcohol) but know that I'm still in serious trouble.
My drinking is killing my health, my self esteem, my career prospects. You name it.
It's my fault I know.
I even started my own internet group hoping that it would motivate me to become my ideal self.
I am still me - drunk and pathetic.
AA doesn't work for me, even though I know it helps other people.
What other alternatives exist other than certain death?
A bit depressed.
Lisa
I'm 34 years old and want my life back.
But I love drinking and hate being sober.
I quit for one night and then resume my habits.
Lately I have made a lot of improvements, thanks to giving up my job and reducing my stress load. Unfortunately financial pressures mean that I'll soon be stressed out again and I don't know how I'll cope without alcohol.
I was a binge drinker between the ages of 25 and 28, became a nightly drinker after that and soon progressed to 1.5 to 2 litres of wine a night. Lately I have cut down to a six pack of beer (less alcohol) but know that I'm still in serious trouble.
My drinking is killing my health, my self esteem, my career prospects. You name it.
It's my fault I know.
I even started my own internet group hoping that it would motivate me to become my ideal self.
I am still me - drunk and pathetic.
AA doesn't work for me, even though I know it helps other people.
What other alternatives exist other than certain death?
A bit depressed.
Lisa
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Lisa and welcome!
You sound as sad as me the day I arrived. First off, you've found a good community of support. We all get it, been there, understand and will help. First you have to be 100% willing and ready sweety or no program of recovery will work, may be short lived recovery, but if you want a sober life, it takes work. It takes saying good-bye to the only thing that makes you secure.
You may want to look at the front page as their are "Alternatives in Recovery" I'll find you the link.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/1...ernatives.html
I'd check out SMART, LIFERING, Women for Sobriety to start.
But know we're here for you 24/7. Glad you found us!
You sound as sad as me the day I arrived. First off, you've found a good community of support. We all get it, been there, understand and will help. First you have to be 100% willing and ready sweety or no program of recovery will work, may be short lived recovery, but if you want a sober life, it takes work. It takes saying good-bye to the only thing that makes you secure.
You may want to look at the front page as their are "Alternatives in Recovery" I'll find you the link.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/1...ernatives.html
I'd check out SMART, LIFERING, Women for Sobriety to start.
But know we're here for you 24/7. Glad you found us!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi Lisa,
You sound the way I felt too before I stopped drinking. I thought my life would be so miserable if I was sober. I realized later that it was just my twisted, confused mind urging me to continue drinking, that was telling me that. Once I stopped drinking I was surprised to find I began to do the things that I had used to enjoy so much. It was great.
You can stop drinking and I know how daunting that might seem right now. Just take small steps, don't get overwhelmed. Hang around here and get to know us. You can get a lot of support and understanding here!
Love, Anna
You sound the way I felt too before I stopped drinking. I thought my life would be so miserable if I was sober. I realized later that it was just my twisted, confused mind urging me to continue drinking, that was telling me that. Once I stopped drinking I was surprised to find I began to do the things that I had used to enjoy so much. It was great.
You can stop drinking and I know how daunting that might seem right now. Just take small steps, don't get overwhelmed. Hang around here and get to know us. You can get a lot of support and understanding here!
Love, Anna
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
gday lisa
spirit here, on the west coast, the correct side of aus!!
now a couple of things,
you are not pathetic, (aussies never are, i have told the rest of the dudes for ages how brilliant aussies are, dont let them know the truth now !!!!ok)
making sense, you make sense to us, even if you dont make sense to you, we have all been there and done that mate!
now i am a bit older than you, so i want you to listen to auntie kath ok, when you read this and the other messages, you get right back on the puter, tell us how you are today, what you got planned for the day etc. we can yak more then.
maybe check out the dont quit thread, but either way there some good people around here, especially the ones from perth hahaha.
hugs to you mate, welcome, oh and listen to dan, he is a honey, big time. mmmmmmmmm
cheers
kath
spirit here, on the west coast, the correct side of aus!!
now a couple of things,
you are not pathetic, (aussies never are, i have told the rest of the dudes for ages how brilliant aussies are, dont let them know the truth now !!!!ok)
making sense, you make sense to us, even if you dont make sense to you, we have all been there and done that mate!
now i am a bit older than you, so i want you to listen to auntie kath ok, when you read this and the other messages, you get right back on the puter, tell us how you are today, what you got planned for the day etc. we can yak more then.
maybe check out the dont quit thread, but either way there some good people around here, especially the ones from perth hahaha.
hugs to you mate, welcome, oh and listen to dan, he is a honey, big time. mmmmmmmmm
cheers
kath
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 6
Thanks so much for all your replies. I'm not sure why I was being so negative last night because I really have made a lot of improvements lately and am even managing to abstain once a week. It just seemed like such a let down to be so drunk last night after being totally sober the night before. I do usually try not to give in to my dark moments but last night I slipped, I guess..
Chy, thanks for the links that you posted. I am finding SMART really helpful and did their recommended cost-benefit-exercise today. Now that I've reminded myself of the benefits of not drinking, my motivation is coming back. Tonight I'm going to have my second sober night this week, which is a real achievement for me!
Dan, you are welcome to join my group! Here is the link for anybody who'd like to join:
http://groups.*****.com/group/Individual_Recovery/
Kath, it's great to see another Aussie here. Did you name yourself after Kim's other half by any chance?
Yep, I agree that Perth people rock - although I'm not being disloyal to my Sydneysider neighbours of course...
I'm so glad that I found this site. It seems to be full of wonderful, supportive people.
Thanks again!
Lisa
Chy, thanks for the links that you posted. I am finding SMART really helpful and did their recommended cost-benefit-exercise today. Now that I've reminded myself of the benefits of not drinking, my motivation is coming back. Tonight I'm going to have my second sober night this week, which is a real achievement for me!
Dan, you are welcome to join my group! Here is the link for anybody who'd like to join:
http://groups.*****.com/group/Individual_Recovery/
Kath, it's great to see another Aussie here. Did you name yourself after Kim's other half by any chance?
Yep, I agree that Perth people rock - although I'm not being disloyal to my Sydneysider neighbours of course...I'm so glad that I found this site. It seems to be full of wonderful, supportive people.
Thanks again!
Lisa
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Welome Lisa,
I too am glad you found us, don't beat yourself up girl, we all got to work hard for our sobriety but it is sooo worth it. Talk to us we can help. Keep posting.
Indigo
I too am glad you found us, don't beat yourself up girl, we all got to work hard for our sobriety but it is sooo worth it. Talk to us we can help. Keep posting.
Indigo
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, Lisa, and welcome to SR!
This is a great crowd. Glad you're finding the info useful at SMART Recovery. I have some of the reading material saved in a Simpletext format which I can email to you if you like (or anybody else here, for that matter). Just email me at
[email protected]
The cost-benefit analysis is a useful tool; it helps you answer two questions you posed in your introduction: what do you love about drinking, and what do you hate about being sober?
Aiming for 3 days sober is a useful goal, because that gets the alcohol and byproducts out of your system. Some people like short-term goals, some make a lifetime decision, and others just go 'one day at a time' (I know, that's an AA phrase, but many people find it less daunting than 'forever').
I've never met a pathetic Aussie....
Don S
ps--I joined your ***** group today, so we can talk there too.
This is a great crowd. Glad you're finding the info useful at SMART Recovery. I have some of the reading material saved in a Simpletext format which I can email to you if you like (or anybody else here, for that matter). Just email me at
[email protected]
The cost-benefit analysis is a useful tool; it helps you answer two questions you posed in your introduction: what do you love about drinking, and what do you hate about being sober?
Aiming for 3 days sober is a useful goal, because that gets the alcohol and byproducts out of your system. Some people like short-term goals, some make a lifetime decision, and others just go 'one day at a time' (I know, that's an AA phrase, but many people find it less daunting than 'forever').
I've never met a pathetic Aussie....
Don S
ps--I joined your ***** group today, so we can talk there too.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
((((((((Lisa)))))))))
I'm 34 years old and want my life back.
I'm 48 physically....mentally well that's questionable, haha (still don't know how I got to that age so fast) and I wanted my life back at your age, and before that, but I continued on with this crazyness, and it will get worse the longer you continue.
I'm so happy you've found Sober Recovery, the gang here are the best....just LISTEN to what they tell you, focus real hard, I know how hard that can be...lordy do I. Anyway YOU can do this, yes YOU.
Sending love, extra hugs, and prayers your way....you'll beat this Lisa. :wink2:
Love.....Denise
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
