Weaver

I have made the decision (finally) to take control of my life and start by sober/recovery journey.

I am still "not sure" if AA is for me, but I am going to do the 90 in 90. I have been to 5 meetings since Monday. I feel as though I need it...at least for now (I am still open to alternate recovery options)

Would you recommend getting a sponsor? Working the 12 steps sounds pretty good...what does it entail? What does a sponsor do exactly? I asked (sheepishly) tonight a couple of guys and they pretty much told me know which was incredibly embarrassing.


Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome


Thanks!

Afterthought

Hi Weaver...

I had similar thoughts to yours as well. What does the 12-step process entail? How hard is it to find a sponsor? My life is already consumed with "stuff", and with one other thing on the pile (not that my sobriety isn't important) it might just drive me to drink more.

Thanks for asking an awesome question.

Weaver

Note: I put the thread in this forum, as although I have had many "stints" of trying to get sober they were not genuine (this time is ) and also I feel as though there is a bit more traffic in this forum.

ChrissieB

Hi Weaver Good luck, I am going to AA I still have to get a sponsor and start working the steps, but glad to be there and listening, I have been told to listen to speakers and people sharing to see if I can connect with someone, as in someone I could really divulge everything to, sorry the guys didn't pick up in your request, there is an AA pamphlet about getting a sponsor that might help, again good luck and glad you are in the fellowship.

Johnston

I only go to AA once I a while now but it was great in the beginning. It helped me to see that there's a lot of people who have found happiness staying sober. Not into sponsorship or the steps, but I can see how they can help certain types of people.

tomsteve

good on ya!!
heres what I would suggest:
usually at the beginning of meetings, someone reads,"how it works."
in how it works it says,"if you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to nay lengths to get it..."
do you know what we have that you may want?
heres a sample:
A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works
• Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted.
• We can look the world in the eye.
• We can be alone at perfect peace and ease.
• Our fears fall from us.
• If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
• We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
• We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
• We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
• No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
• That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
• We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
• Self-seeking will slip away.
• Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
• Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
• We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us
• And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -even alcohol.
• For by this time sanity will have returned.
• We will seldom be interested in liquor.
• If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.
• Life will take on new meaning.


glad yer askin, weaver. what I would suggest is getting a copy of the big book or look for it online and reading the first 164 pages. if it sounds good, look for a sponsor. a sponsor is someone who will help guide ya through the steps and help ya understand it better.

awuh1

What does working the steps entail? It entails doing what others have done before you. To some extent we are all different, so how we apply the steps is, to a degree, also different. On the other hand, as alcoholics, we suffer from a common problem and benefit from a common solution.

Pick someone who has some sober time, someone who has said things in meetings that you have found helpful.

Then do it one step at a time and don’t get ahead of yourself.

MIRecovery

I would definately get a sponsor. Sponsors guide you through the steps and through sobriety in general. Look for people that have a sponsor themselves, have long term sobriety, have worked the steps, and seem to be happy with their life. I was crushed when the first person I asked said No. Dont worry about it. Go to a bunch of meetings and you will figure out who the winners are. Start asking the winners and you will find a good sponsor

Zebra1275

I found that asking some guy to be my sponsor was more difficult than asking a girl to the high school prom (and that was pretty nerve wracking at the time).

What worked for me was going to a men's group meeting (with about 25 guys in attendance) admitting I was new to the program and that I was looking for someone who could be a temporary sponsor. The "temporary" aspect takes some pressure off of both people. When I did that, another guy also said, "yeah, me too." We both ended up getting temporary sponsors (and we also ended up being friends since we were starting in the same place and had some other stuff in common).

If someone says that they will be your temporary sponsor, tell them that you are looking for AA meetings that will help you get and stay sober. Ask them what meetings they go to on Monday, Tuesday, etc. They will probably invite you to meet them at a meeting they regularly attend and you two can take it from there.

My temporary sponsor ending up becoming my permanent sponsor and then he ended up becoming my friend.

Eddiebuckle

Definitely - go to different meetings until you find one that seems to speak to you most, and then find someone there that has what you want. Ask them, and if they are not able to take on a sponsee, ask if they have any suggestions who else to ask who might be available.

Gottalife

So what is the AA solution? A way of life, that we learn and grow into through the 12 steps (with the help of a sponsor), that is so full and satisfying on every level of our existence that we find ourselves in the miraculous position that we no longer need or want to drink.

Step twelve does not say "Having stopped drinking as the result of these steps." It says in effect (if you take into account appendix II and the doctor's opinion" Having had a complete change of personanlity, a total psychic change, as the result of working these steps, we are able to live happily and effectively in this world, to experience the joy of loving and helping others, to have peace, serenity, and faith, and we willingly try to carry this message to other alcoholics who still suffer. And BTW, the drink problem seems to have gone!

That's about as simply as I can put it.

Tamerua

Get a sponsor. Off the bat, that's a person in your corner fighting for you. And I would suggest picking someone who is positive and has longer term sobriety and takes the steps seriously. For me, I also needed someone who could respect what I interpreted as a higher power.
The sponsor will walk you through the steps, don't worry about them until you start working on it. It will all come with time.

wiscsober

Good for you....not much to add

You are living in the solution

One alcoholic helping another is the crux of the AA program

you are doing that...