My quitting log.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Interesting about feeling cold. Just prior to 8 days ago I HAD to have the air conditioning on at night to sleep. Now it is just a fan and I am FINE. Glad to hear that you are feeling better as well 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
this must be what they said to me in AA when i started about newcomers being a good reminder of where we all start sobriety from.
your diary of the first 3 days put me right back in that nightmare. freezing, sweating, anxiety. i tried to eat peas with my dinner on day 2 the last time i quit and just threw them all over the floor, i was shaking so badly.
my final (please the gods) detox wasn't too painful as i was in hospital after a suicide attempt and was on IV fluids for 3 days. i've been in AA 3 weeks today and the 'mental obsession' with drinking is lifting. i never thought it would.
you are doing amazingly well. hang onto this. i am still trying to rebuild my relationship with my daughter, who is living with her dad while i get my feet under me.
keep on keeping on. i'm right here alongside you.
your diary of the first 3 days put me right back in that nightmare. freezing, sweating, anxiety. i tried to eat peas with my dinner on day 2 the last time i quit and just threw them all over the floor, i was shaking so badly.
my final (please the gods) detox wasn't too painful as i was in hospital after a suicide attempt and was on IV fluids for 3 days. i've been in AA 3 weeks today and the 'mental obsession' with drinking is lifting. i never thought it would.
you are doing amazingly well. hang onto this. i am still trying to rebuild my relationship with my daughter, who is living with her dad while i get my feet under me.
keep on keeping on. i'm right here alongside you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i think your HR might be slowing a bit and your BP might be lower with no booze.
good solid sleep helps to repair the brain function too. try some fruit in the morning (replaces the alcohol sugar you were used to)...i take B-6 and biotin supplements at night. by the time i quit, i had lost almost 50% of my hair, it was coming out in the shower, my drain was full.
glad to hear that you are on day 5! (or 4)?
for a bit of motivation you might want to take a weekly picture of yourself (bathroom mirror). you will be surprised how different your face looks.
i'm glad you are here and post as much as you need to.
good solid sleep helps to repair the brain function too. try some fruit in the morning (replaces the alcohol sugar you were used to)...i take B-6 and biotin supplements at night. by the time i quit, i had lost almost 50% of my hair, it was coming out in the shower, my drain was full.
glad to hear that you are on day 5! (or 4)?
for a bit of motivation you might want to take a weekly picture of yourself (bathroom mirror). you will be surprised how different your face looks.
i'm glad you are here and post as much as you need to.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
This place is an amazing resource for information and support, I'm thankful to YOU guys!
In case anyone is wondering where I started, here's my first post. It explains how much I was drinking et all: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...need-help.html
Warning, I sound pretty damn pathetic. Maybe I should re-read that thread the next time I have the urge to hit the liquor store.
In case anyone is wondering where I started, here's my first post. It explains how much I was drinking et all: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...need-help.html
Warning, I sound pretty damn pathetic. Maybe I should re-read that thread the next time I have the urge to hit the liquor store.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
You do not sound pathetic. You were heartfelt and reaching out, that's what SR is for. (and we are free too).
you are doing great, one day at a time, you are feeling better physically and emotionally.
the economy is a roller coaster for most of us these days, i hope it evens out for you soon. I gather that you can get insurance because they won't cover a pre-existing condition. i know how expensive it is to go to the oncologist...i would think you might be qualifying for a clinical trial that would provide free office visits? (there are many different kinds where i work).
I hope you feel better after this week.
you are doing great, one day at a time, you are feeling better physically and emotionally.
the economy is a roller coaster for most of us these days, i hope it evens out for you soon. I gather that you can get insurance because they won't cover a pre-existing condition. i know how expensive it is to go to the oncologist...i would think you might be qualifying for a clinical trial that would provide free office visits? (there are many different kinds where i work).
I hope you feel better after this week.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by Fandy 
You do not sound pathetic. You were heartfelt and reaching out, that's what SR is for. (and we are free too).
you are doing great, one day at a time, you are feeling better physically and emotionally.
the economy is a roller coaster for most of us these days, i hope it evens out for you soon. I gather that you can get insurance because they won't cover a pre-existing condition. I know how expensive it is to go to the oncologist...i would think you might be qualifying for a clinical trial that would provide free office visits? (there are many different kinds where i work).
I hope you feel better after this week.
you are doing great, one day at a time, you are feeling better physically and emotionally.
the economy is a roller coaster for most of us these days, i hope it evens out for you soon. I gather that you can get insurance because they won't cover a pre-existing condition. I know how expensive it is to go to the oncologist...i would think you might be qualifying for a clinical trial that would provide free office visits? (there are many different kinds where i work).
I hope you feel better after this week.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
10/24 - Day 5
Was a small slice of mental hell. It was my first day off mid week since quitting. As in, a day all to myself with no one to be accountable to. Who would know if I had one little drink? I had to go get groceries right next to the liquor store. You're going home to an empty house, what's one little drink? See, a battle of wills with my AV for half the day. By 2 it was time for the first child to be picked up from school so we went shopping for Mom & Dad's Halloween costumes at the thrift store. Thank goodness for distractions!! I really thought I was going to cave. Physically I feel good. Emotionally I'm a wreck. Still trying to convince myself I can have just one when I just went through hell a few days ago? That's nuts!! Physically I'm the same as day 4 a few posts back. Emotionally, I'm okay unless I feel like someone is questioning me about something (not even alcohol related), then I get very defensive.
10/25 - Day 6
Glad I didn't cave. The urge passed eventually. I didn't have to hide anything from my husband. I was a productive member of the family rather than sitting on my butt drinking all day. Physical symptoms: still colder than usual for me. Still having vivid dreams. Still waking up sweating. Still getting anxiety. BUT, I'm also not puffy, alert, no dark circles, no blotchy face and have more energy. Getting up to prep some stuffed peppers for the slow cooker, pack lunches and be off to work!
Was a small slice of mental hell. It was my first day off mid week since quitting. As in, a day all to myself with no one to be accountable to. Who would know if I had one little drink? I had to go get groceries right next to the liquor store. You're going home to an empty house, what's one little drink? See, a battle of wills with my AV for half the day. By 2 it was time for the first child to be picked up from school so we went shopping for Mom & Dad's Halloween costumes at the thrift store. Thank goodness for distractions!! I really thought I was going to cave. Physically I feel good. Emotionally I'm a wreck. Still trying to convince myself I can have just one when I just went through hell a few days ago? That's nuts!! Physically I'm the same as day 4 a few posts back. Emotionally, I'm okay unless I feel like someone is questioning me about something (not even alcohol related), then I get very defensive.
10/25 - Day 6
Glad I didn't cave. The urge passed eventually. I didn't have to hide anything from my husband. I was a productive member of the family rather than sitting on my butt drinking all day. Physical symptoms: still colder than usual for me. Still having vivid dreams. Still waking up sweating. Still getting anxiety. BUT, I'm also not puffy, alert, no dark circles, no blotchy face and have more energy. Getting up to prep some stuffed peppers for the slow cooker, pack lunches and be off to work!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,443
Good for you! I had cravings yesterday as well....but now, as we both know (since we made it) they do pass. Woke up this morning feeling
great! On day 11 and I don't have to use the air conditioner at night anymore Gonna try to make it a productive, great day today 
great! On day 11 and I don't have to use the air conditioner at night anymore Gonna try to make it a productive, great day today Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
10/26 - Day 7
Feeling less irritable today. My husband seems to get the brunt of it, unfortunately. If I'm snappy it's always him I snap at. Poor guy. He's not innocent either, he certainly knows how to push my buttons. Had a Halloween party to go to tonight, stuck with the "youthful spirits" aka no alcohol. Had fun. Liked that I wasn't saying something stupid or worried about saying something stupid or being hurt by something a family member said - typical at gatherings with my family. Came home a couple hours later and climbed in to bed with a book.
10/27 - Day 8
Would I like a drink? Yes. What am I going to do about it? Go weed the flower beds, then start a new book. Clean the house, do laundry, prepare for the week ahead. Stay busy. I think I'm over the detox aside from mode swings. Now I just need to put at gag in the AV's mouth.
Feeling less irritable today. My husband seems to get the brunt of it, unfortunately. If I'm snappy it's always him I snap at. Poor guy. He's not innocent either, he certainly knows how to push my buttons. Had a Halloween party to go to tonight, stuck with the "youthful spirits" aka no alcohol. Had fun. Liked that I wasn't saying something stupid or worried about saying something stupid or being hurt by something a family member said - typical at gatherings with my family. Came home a couple hours later and climbed in to bed with a book.
10/27 - Day 8
Would I like a drink? Yes. What am I going to do about it? Go weed the flower beds, then start a new book. Clean the house, do laundry, prepare for the week ahead. Stay busy. I think I'm over the detox aside from mode swings. Now I just need to put at gag in the AV's mouth.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Back to day 1.
Made it to day 11 then the AV got the better of me. Evil b!tch. That's what I'm calling her now...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4271262
Felt important to add this here for me, and for anyone like me who starts by searching threads looking for help.
Made it to day 11 then the AV got the better of me. Evil b!tch. That's what I'm calling her now...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4271262
Felt important to add this here for me, and for anyone like me who starts by searching threads looking for help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 95
Okay, I just reread all of my posts and I feel like such an idiot!! On my other thread great advice was given. I need to print this out an carry it with me, I felt SO good. Proud of myself. Why did I give that up?? I got NO satisfaction, hell, I was drinking alone. I got nothing done and now I feel like crap physically and mentally. How evil is alcohol to treat me this way? I think I've made a decision, to not be mad at myself because that just leads me further in to hell. I need someone to blame though, it's the beast, AV. It's not a scapegoat, but someone to blame other than myself because I'm already too hard on myself. I think a lot of us here have that in common actually and it's a vicious circle. Blame. Guilt. Drink.
Deep breaths. Here I go again. Day 1. I can do this. I'm a tough girl. I've been through a LOT in my life and survived! I can beat this too damn it!!!
Deep breaths. Here I go again. Day 1. I can do this. I'm a tough girl. I've been through a LOT in my life and survived! I can beat this too damn it!!!
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