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Planning ahead...wedding. All inclusive. Cancun.

Old 10-21-2013, 08:06 AM
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Question Planning ahead...wedding. All inclusive. Cancun.

Right now I'm taking my steps to recovery one day at a time. I'm a baby. On day two and feel like I am failing miserably already because I want to drink so damn bad. I know my thought process will change if I - scratch that - as I stay sober for longer periods of time but my kid sister is getting married in Mexico at a wonderful, all-inclusive resort and I'm nervous. Free and free flowing booze everywhere. I like to say that other than my husband my family doesn't know I have a problem but I suspect they do, they just haven't confronted me about it yet.

I am looking for advice from people who have been in recovery and then are forced in to situations where everyone is drinking and how they avoid temptation. If it was up to me I wouldn't go at all. Heck, we can't afford it anyway and my parents are paying for our stay. But I have to be there. I don't HAVE to drink but at this point, 2 days in, the thought of being around people drinking and free flowing alcohol is really scaring me. But, EVERYTHING is scaring me right now. Maybe I'm rambling. Damn this emotional roller coaster.

Breathe. One day at a freaking time girl.
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:09 AM
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When is the wedding?
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:22 AM
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May. I have time. But everyone is constantly talking about it and SO excited. Meanwhile, I am cringing. I think I'm just in manic mode as I detox and worrying about everything. But reading how others cope helps. Coming here, helps.
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:23 AM
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I have a teleconference at 11:30 that should distract me for a little while. :-/
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:27 AM
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Two days in and getting anxious about a wedding in May? Yeah, I'd say you are thinking too far ahead.

I went to my wife's son's wedding after nine months sober. I wasn't worried about all the alcohol. I was worried about my discomfort. Her ex-husband would be there, his family, etc. I was worried that feeling uncomfortable would drive me drink.

It didn't. By that time I was well into my recovery and had all the tools to handle it.

However, if you struggle to stay sober between now and May, you can expect ANY alcohol-fueled celebration to be a challenge.
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:27 AM
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If you can get sober now and put a solid plan in place I would think that by May you should be able to handle being in public places where drinking is going on. You are of course very early in sobriety and things seem very daunting right now.

You are also still under the false assumption that "everyone will be drinking". Just because alcohol is available at an event doesn't mean everyone will be drinking, many will not. Alcoholics just naturally gravitate towards others that are drinking too.

If it's really still a problem for you at that time, you could just go for the wedding ceremony itself and not attend the reception, or if you do just leave a little early. There is plenty to do in Cancun ( or anywhere for that matter ) that doesn't involve drinking.
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Old 10-21-2013, 09:04 AM
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you are worrying 6 months into the future......use this time to build a good strong foundation....then if you must suppose, think positive...like OMG! i will look so much better, cos i'm not puffy bloated vodka-faced, my eyes will be clear, no headaches, i might start exercising, i might be 2 sizes smaller.....and everyone will want to know my secret for looking so fantastic...
( go ahead and enjoy those thoughts...you do not want to drink, you really don't).....because starting this again will be harder than it is now....better to be on day 2....
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Old 10-21-2013, 09:12 AM
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Slowly learning names and people here...thank you all. I know I'm panicking. Putting the cart before the horse. Day 2 is half over. Another AA meeting tonight. Teleconference went well and hey, I might actually remember what she was teaching me. That would be a plus.

I think I need to go lay down and watch a tv show or something. I have work to do but I feel so sick to my stomach right now.

Fandy, I big puffy heart love you!
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Old 10-21-2013, 09:49 AM
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Being new (again) myself, I have to agree with the others...May is a long time away...If you work your program you will be able to build a strong foundation before then, and have lots of support. Find out where there are meetings in Cancun. I remember going to Mexico, before when I was sober, and finding a meeting a couple of hotels down from where we were staying. It was SOOOOO cool being on vacation and attending a meeting! It was very small (maybe 4 people), but it was great! Just relax for now and take care of yourself.
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Old 10-21-2013, 09:58 AM
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Resolve not to drink today. At this stage in your recovery, that is literally all that matters.

Good luck. Stay strong.
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Old 10-21-2013, 10:17 AM
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I am 23 days in and all the up coming "big events" that I worried about (meal with old college friend; trip to Miami, etc.) went without a hitch. The "big deal" was in my mind. I have really taken everything One Day at a Time and it really works, I promise! Also, those resorts usually have lovely spas. Save all the money that you would have spent on drinking and treat yourself to a lot of scheduled spa sessions!!
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Old 10-21-2013, 10:32 AM
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onthebrigj-
I know what you mean. I had a vacation home planned since I got sober and now it is a month away... I have now been sober almost 8 months and I am feeling MORE ready... but not really ready. It will be a real test for me.

However, at only two days in.... don't get too worried about it. Worry about the "now". Staying in the "now" helps me a lot.

Jess
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