unchartedxo

I am a binge drinker. And every time of have 1 drink it turns into a blackout problem. It doesn't happen often. Maybe 1x a month. But lately I have been doing it once a week. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and hopeless. I feel like a terrible person. I need help. I keep trying to "quit" drinking but I keep screwing up ( anyway. New here. And feeling terrible.

countingdays

You are not a terrible person. Read, read, read the posts on this site. You'll get some great advice and find out you are not alone! Welcome.

ScottFromWI

Welcome Uncharted. Just about everyone here has been in the situation of feeling helpless against alcohol. It doesn't really matter if you get drunk every night or once a week, if you have a problem and want to quit you are in the right place. You will find a lot of support here, and don't forget there are a lot of things you can do locally to help if you need extra help with quitting.

Skye2

Welcome from me too

anonymick

I have tried and "screwed up" many, many times. It's normal, and it's a part of this whole thing. It doesn't make you terrible, or different, or bad. It's the same with all of us. It's like learning to ride a bike... right now your knees are scuffed, you might have bruised a muscle, and you feel like giving up... but just get up and try one more time. It might be the time that you finally start sailing down the road. Just don't give up right before that happens!

least

to SR! I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

Tamerua

Welcome aboard!

I was the same way and I absolutely hated myself. I also tried to get dry without a plan and convinced myself after a month that I was fine. Do you have a plan?

KateL

Cheer up, you have found a good place to chat.

unchartedxo

no.. no plan. just sadness :-/

sicknote

I binge too!!! I know how you feel! You are not alone, and don't worry, binge drinking and going into blackout does NOT make you a terrible person! It makes you a sick one. Try to stay away from the first drink. If you don't have the first drink then you can't get drunk. Do you have any idea why you are doing this? are you dealing with any difficult areas in your life at the mo? If you are that might be the cause? Do you have any ideas why this might be happening? Keep your chin up, try to talk to people friends or family maybe? You'll find this site will help if you are having trouble quitting. Good luck! sending you happy vibes

xx

Anna

I used to blackout in the last months of my drinking too, and it's such a terrible, scary thing. Those hours will never be remembered.

Remember, alcoholism is not a character flaw. It's a disease and you can get better by not drinking, ever.

Tamerua

The good thing is that there is a lot out there. There is SMART, Rational Recovery and other methods. I use AA personally. But there are so many and they all can keep you on track and get rid of that sadness. Keep posting, you're in the right place.

allihk

Welcome. This is a great place to come and chat. Hope you feel better :-)

unchartedxo

I think I know the cause. I expect a lot from myself... I expect hard work, to be the best mom ever, to not lose my temper, to be as physically fit as possible, to be as well rounded as possible, and most important to be in CONTROL at all times. in control of my body, my emotions, my rationale, my behaviors. So everytime I even have ONE drink, I start to feel that "warm fuzzy" feeling... of relaxation. I am able to NOT be in control for that moment... and then I don't stop. I don't stop drinking so my world stops needing me for that minute. And then wake up the next morning and literally BEAT MYSELF DOWN in disappointment. I don't forgive myself, I truly truly disgust myself. and that aids to my stress... that high expectation.

Does that make sense???

jdooner

Uncharted, welcome...I too have high aspirations. I thought I could control everything and I resented things and people when I could not. This resentment would build and I would self medicate. At first it was not an issue but then over time (years) the medication became the problem where I could not tell what was real and what was not. IT is very hard to do and I am struggling with this now in recovery but truly letting go and realizing your cannot control your drinking and everything else has helped many people recover.

SR is a great place to gather ideas and start this process, so welcome. For me I have found some salvation in AA. There are other programs too and books that might help through being able to relate to others. This is a disease and bc it is readily available and socially acceptable its more dangerous than heroin in my opinion. By posting you should be proud that you are taking the first steps toward a healthy and rewarding life.

minouminou

I really identify with this (except I'm not a mom... but everything else, OMG). I drank to disappear, and so that the world would stop needing me for a little while. Until that little while became all the time. Lots of AA people say "drinking was my solution until it became my problem," and that sounds like about where you are now.

I'm not saying that your binge drinking will inevitably lead to suicidal alcoholism -- mine did, and yours may not. The thing is, it doesn't have to, you don't have to take that chance. You can stop now if you choose. And by recognizing that your bingeing is becoming a problem for you, and coming here, you are starting to do something really good for yourself. I hope that you take a moment and let yourself feel good about that -- you may find that feeling good about something feels so good that you want more of it!

NewMe32

It makes sense to me! I am a CONTROL freak and can relate to your feelings, but we have to find other ways to get that feeling of relaxation, bc as I have said before, in the long-run and the short-run, binge drinking can cause devastating effects to ourselves, our families, and anyone else around us for that matter...


True peace comes from Sobriety and dealing with our issues, whether they be control issues, anger issues, dealing with our pasts, whatever it may be...

I believe you have the courage to stay sober and we are all here to help you...