Timetogiveup

Hi all,

I am new to this forum so thought I would introduce myself and explain why I am joining!

I'm hitting 30 this week and despite getting myself into some really stupid situations over the years through drinking I still have not learnt my lesson and yet again have drank to excess and upset far too many people. I have decided because of this that I want to try and stop drinking.

This weekend I have managed to upset my husband by inappropriately touching his friend; plus have destroyed someones marriage by talking absolute nonsense when I was wasted. I hate myself today! The worst part is, if no one had told me I wouldn't be any of the wiser, makes me wonder how many other people I have upset in my destructive path!!

I'd like to still be able to go to social events and be able to drink a sensible amount, but with all good intentions this never happens. The only way forward, is to actually give up altogether.

If anyone else is in a similar situation I would love to hear from you, I would welcome any advice!

Thanks :-)

Skye2

Hi .. Is there any way that you can apologise and set the record straight, regarding the 'wrecked marriage'?.. Or the other's you've upset?.. Would make you feel a WHOLE lot better, or at least it would me, in your position

Anyhow, welcome to SR - You've found a fantastic support site

countingdays

I can completely relate to your post. I have been inappropriately flirty drunk when I would never even think or want to do that sober....i love my husband and only want to be with him! I have also said things in a black out that are complete lies and I don't even know where they came from. The problem is that I seem normal when Im saying them so people never believe that they are true . Awful. you are not alone! I'm on day 8 and feeling really good. The only way I can guarantee to not wake up with regrets or completely not remember What to regret is to not take that first sip. It is the only thing I can control...that first sip.
Someone on this site said that when you have the urge and are ready to give in, just tell your AV that you can drink tomorrow (wether you mean it or not). The beauty of it is that when tomorrow comes, the urge is gone. I did that last night and it worked . I wish you the best.

doggonecarl

Welcome.

Quitting has been the sure-fire solution to all the stupid stuff I did drunk.

And so much easier than trying to control my drinking.

nomis

Sister, everyone here has been in similar situations. Alcoholism leaves behind a trail a embarrassment, shame and misery, not only for the user, but for those unlucky enough to get close to the user. We all know this too well. You are totally, most definitively not alone.

Take heart though, this thing can be licked. Plenty of people here who had enough and learned how to manage their disease. Stick around, heaps of great advice, and figure out your own personal path to sobriety.

ScottFromWI

My advice would be to find some support and stop drinking. You can't undo what you did when you were drunk, but you can eventually regain some trust of those around you by remaining sober. Just about every single person here on SR has been in the situation of creating problems in our lives because of drinking. Some of us hurt others, some hurt ourselves, but the one common problem is that drinking is the cause of it all. And the solution is to not drink.

There are many resources here to help you along the path, and It's honorable that you have finally decided to make the change in your life. Read lots and ask lots of questions - you can do this if you really want to!

whiskeyman

showing by example is the best solution. It fixed my relationship and i did much the same as you.

the hardest step for you right now will be grieving the fact that you cant have that social drink.
It took me along time to accept that I cannot drink AT ALL.
it seemed like the end of the world at the time.
OMG not drink, how horrible, what a miserable life. can you see how twisted that is.

lommey

Glad you have joined us. Im 50 and have only just caught on to whats ruining my life. DRINK. Well done you for catching on so young. haven't had a drink in 8 weeks been to AA most nights .My life is getting better already. Stay with us

firstymer

The person that said "you can't fix stupid" obviously wasn't dealing with a drunk. Among the many, many benefits of my recent sobriety is not having to wake up and be informed of the inappropriate and embarrassing things I did the night before.

Welcome to SR. If you have reached the conclusion, as most of us have, that moderation is not a workable solution, you will find a great deal of support and help here.

Good luck. I am glad you are here with us.

least

to SR! You've come to a good place for support if you want to stop drinking. I tried many times to moderate my drinking - never worked. It was easier to give it up altogether.

MIRecovery

I did not get into trouble every time I drank but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking. Before you lose your marriage, your friends, and everything you value it may be time to stop.

If you don't take the first drink you'll never get drunk

Timetogiveup

You guys are amazing! I'm chuffed to pieces with the level of support on this forum, reading all of your messages really makes me smile at human nature and how others really do care.

FeenixxRising

Yes, that is also true for me. Almost all my major problems came about because of drinking.

Timetogiveup, you're not stupid, but the drinking can make you do a lot of dumb things. Just about everyone here has multiple stories of "stupid" sh*t we did while drinking.

It sounds like you've made the right decision. Keep posting and reading here, you will receive a lot of help and no judgment.