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How do you find the motivation or inspiration?

Old 10-21-2013, 05:34 AM
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How do you find the motivation or inspiration?

Hello all,

I just joined the forum and frankly don't expect anything to change from posting here. But it can't hurt right?

For the last about 5 years I have been drinking every single day. I'm now 27, with a good job and no problems other than drinking really.

My main problem is, I just can't think of a single thing that makes me want to stop. I know it isn't healthy, it wastes a lot of my money and it's hard for any people to accept that I 'need' to drink so much.

2 days ago I was at my brothers wedding and thankfully I didn't embarrass him. I did get far to drunk but that was after I left the wedding. I had a huge argument with my parents that night and now I refuse to speak to them because I don't like anyone trying to force me to do anything. If I was 16 I would accept it but I'm not anymore and while I don't mind them giving me an opinion when they try to force me not to drink or something it just makes me so angry.

So my question is as the topic indicates, what has motivated or inspired you to finally quit drinking? I just find life so boring and especially since I quit smoking weed everyday drinking has become more of a problem.

Health could be a reason, but I'm in decent shape and whenever I get a blood test my doctors are literally impressed with the results which does nothing but annoy me. Social interaction could be another reason but I've been a loner my entire life so it doesn't really bother me having no true friends. Money yet another reason, but I make enough to have my own place and buy everything I want.

So any suggestions or ideas would be most welcome.
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:40 AM
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What motivated me was the inevitable onset of all the problems that excessive drinking brings. There are "healthy" limits to drinking and these are set at a level where most people will avoid the negative consequences of drinking. Unfortunately, when you are young, your body can absorb A LOT of abuse without you noticing the impacts. However, these impacts are accumulating and eventually they will become apparent. It may be this year, a few years or decades down the line, but the negative impacts will show themselves. I would read the stories here of people and see how their drinking lives went, look for the similarities. Also, read the stories of friends and family of alcoholics to see how the drinking impacts the people you love. What you may notice is that the drinking patterns were apparent long before the rapid downfall. When I was young, I always believed I had time to escape. I believed it all the way into my 40s. The negative impacts did eventually happen and that includes loss of jobs (ability to work) and loss of health.
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Old 10-21-2013, 05:55 AM
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How bout to stop feeling shame the next day. Guilt. Do u feel shame the next day? Are you tired of feeling that way. No one can make you ready. Either u r or u aren't.

Doesn't sound like you are ready IMO. You would know if u were.
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:03 AM
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You sound in the kinda shape that i was at your age.
If you are not an alcoholic then you may be able to drink for years with only a minimal effect.
If you are an alcoholic eventually loss, shame, guilt and ill health will be your bedfellows until you either stop or die trying.
For you to decide.
Just a word of caution tho.
If you are happy about your drinking, what attracted you to this site..... Mmmmmm
G
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:09 AM
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Originally Posted by afloatsober View Post
You sound in the kinda shape that i was at your age.
If you are not an alcoholic then you may be able to drink for years with only a minimal effect.
If you are an alcoholic eventually loss, shame, guilt and ill health will be your bedfellows until you either stop or die trying.
For you to decide.
Just a word of caution tho.
If you are happy about your drinking, what attracted you to this site..... Mmmmmm
G
What he said.
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:19 AM
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When I was 27 no one could convince me to quit drinking and drugging.

Fast forward 25 years, I convinced myself. The shambles of my life was all the proof I needed. And even then, quitting was the hardest thing I ever did.

I waited too long.

Hope you don't take as long as me to figure it out.
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:26 AM
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Alcoholism is progressive..it is not going to get better...the arguments will get bigger, the hangovers worse, you will not be young forever, you will have lost friends and family as a result of your drinking, you will be sick and tired and lonely. Maybe this won't happen to you, but is it worth the risk?
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:28 AM
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If only I did feel shame, or ever got a hangover, or had some kind of negative effect to drinking excessively. Any of those would probably help motivate me.

Sadly I am exceptional at my job. Even though I walk home for lunch cause I live 5 minutes away and have at least 4 beers everytime. Being a high functioning alcoholic is a real pain in the ass.

Health problems do worry me, which is why I get blood tests every 6 months. The last one I had the doctor literally said "if all my patients were as healthy as you I would be out of a job" which really didn't help.

I guess there is nothing much other than for me to want to do it for the sake of doing it.. which seems a pretty far fetched idea. I may very well go check out some local AA meetings and possibly speak to a therapist just to see if either of those can nudge me in the right direction.
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:42 AM
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Last time i gave up for a yr was due to my husband said he had enough and was going to divorce me. This time i have allways got an excuse but bordering on things are going the same way. Other thing is my daughter, she needs me to be off drink so least i can have a relasionship as a teen and im not drunk. Other reason is yeah health, but thats another story.

You writing here is the start, means your thinking about why ur drinking, so it means something? with ur parents saying things or other reasons why they saying u need to drink is that it is up to u to find the meaning.

Do u want to shorten ur life due to drinnking and before then becomes life is a mess. you need to find ur own deep hole and dig on and then when ur scared enough, find the way out of that hole u made.

It can be done xxx
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:49 AM
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I see I missed replying to some things.

I'm sure as **** not happy that I drink so much and can still function at a high level. Amazingly, I'm supposedly quite intelligent, so the fact I can be drunk at work and still do better work than basically everyone is just another reason it makes it more difficult. Being smart and making good choices seem to have almost nothing to do with each other. Damn.

What attracted me to this site was well, I don't like feeling like I HAVE to drink. I don't like feeling like I HAVE to do anything. It is the only thing in my life I can't seem to control. I figured if it has gotten to the point where I would basically disown my own mother due to her opinions I may as well ask some people who may have had to go through the same thing.

If I had a significant other or a child I would like to believe that would most certainly change my thoughts. Alas, I don't see either of those happening. I would pity any poor woman that got involved with me at this current point.

Having a shortened life doesn't really bother me either. I figure I have already lived longer than a lot of people get the chance to. I'm not religious or anything so if I kick the bucket that's it for me. No more feeling angry or depressed. Not that I would ever go out of my way to shorten it though. That's the weak way out.
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Old 10-21-2013, 06:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Fallion View Post
Not that I would ever go out of my way to shorten it though.
You actually are by drinking so heavily. As others have mentioned, it's entirely possible to consume large quantities like you are doing ( I did ) in your early life with minimal ill effects for some, but inevetably the walls will come crumbling down around you. I was arrogant about it as you are when I was your age too. Not me, i'm healthy, right? I have no kids or wife to worry about so why worry?

It will catch up with you at some point, that's pretty much a guarantee.

How about thinking about it this way - if you don't NEED to drink, why not try not drinking for a month? See how you feel.

Either way, i wish you the best of luck in finding what it is you actually want.
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:00 AM
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
You actually are by drinking so heavily. As others have mentioned, it's entirely possible to consume large quantities like you are doing ( I did ) in your early life with minimal ill effects for some, but inevetably the walls will come crumbling down around you. I was arrogant about it as you are when I was your age too. Not me, i'm healthy, right? I have no kids or wife to worry about so why worry?

It will catch up with you at some point, that's pretty much a guarantee.

How about thinking about it this way - if you don't NEED to drink, why not try not drinking for a month? See how you feel.

Either way, i wish you the best of luck in finding what it is you actually want.
Well, the bottle shop is literally on my way home from work so It's not technically out of the way :P but I get what you're saying I'm just being difficult haha.

I managed to do that with weed.. then I quit after another couple years. But It's to hard for me not to take something. Feeling normal is just too boring for me sigh.

Let us hope I find a reason to stop. Posting here doesn't seem to have helped much so far but thanks for the replies everyone!
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Fallion View Post

What attracted me to this site was well, I don't like feeling like I HAVE to drink. I don't like feeling like I HAVE to do anything. It is the only thing in my life I can't seem to control.
And there, my friend, is your motivation. If you feel like you HAVE to drink and it is causing problems with your family. Then you have lost control over the alcohol and it is controlling you. As you want to be the one in control I would say that is the good reason you are looking for to stop.

Best wishes and welcome to you.
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Fallion View Post
Let us hope I find a reason to stop. Posting here doesn't seem to have helped much so far but thanks for the replies everyone!
Nothing will help until you let it. Not trying to be harsh or judgmental, but you won't stop drinking or smoking until you want to, simple as that. No one can "scare" you into it either, you'll read stories here of those who have literally drunk themselves to death with the knowledge that it was going to happen.

I hope you do find a reason as well. Sober life is better than drunk life. I am only one person/opinion, but I can absolutely tell you that i'd never, ever plan on going back to that life again.
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Old 10-21-2013, 07:55 AM
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Hi Fallion,
I can kind of relate. Some people...me for example...just plain drank too much. I don't really have a whole lot to complain about other than I drank more than I wanted to. Oh I can find plenty of examples where I wasn't exactly my best but in all reality, I just drank too much.

Fast forward several years. It isn't going to improve. Even if you continue drinking about the same amount at the same intervals, it still isn't going to improve. And that's if you are lucky. More people than not end up drinking more. I drank about the same and on the same time schedule but that's just me. It still sucked after awhile. Who in there right mind wants to be doing the same old same old for years and years? I can tell you why I thought life was boring. I was boring. Who the heck is interesting if all they do is work, drink, repeat?

And if I though life was boring, there was a really high probability that other people found me boring. I guess if that's all I wanted out of life I could have kept doing what I was doing.

Being boring, p*ssing people who care about me off. Nope. That's not enough for me. I want more.

I don't think motivation or inspiration was anything outside myself. I just picked what I wanted and then went for it.

Keep searching! And welcome to SR!
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:16 AM
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Welcome!

I was a lot like you. I drank every day after work, but for years, I had no consequences; no incentive to stop.

I was good at my job, so money wasn't an issue. I always got good performance reviews so it wasn't affecting my work. I had a girlfriend, but I didn't drink to excess in front of her so she had no idea the extent of my alcoholism. I was a loner too so the friend issue didn't bother me. I had a good relationship with my family. I had no legal issues. I was healthy. I worked out every day and my doctor had no idea about my drinking because my tests and exams were always normal.

But as others have noted, this is a progressive disease The withdrawals got worse and worse, so I had to drink more and more to stave them off. But people would still have no idea I was intoxicated. I had no slurred speech. No cognitive dysfunction. But I got to the point where I drank mostly not to feel sick.

And then my body just gave out. I went through in unintentional detox (was too sick to make it to the liquor store) and ended up in the ICU on life support. That was motivation enough for me to never drink again.

I wish I would have stopped sooner. I knew I had a problem long before the end. But I didn't care because nothing "bad" was resulting from my drinking.

But if you are an alcoholic, the bad things will come. Probably when you least expect it. It's really inevitable. Sad, but true.
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Old 10-21-2013, 08:29 AM
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From your posts it sounds as if you don't have much of a life, for all the things you have, job, money, smarts...it's not satisfying. It's "meh"...so why bother to do much of anything? You do it because it seems the thing to do...seems like you should stop drinking...but no real motivation.

I wanted a life. To stay stopped drinking, I had to pick up my pieces and put my life back together into something I wanted to live. I stopped because I didn't want to be a pathetic drunk and addict, but then...I needed to put my life back together as well as add some new things.

It could be that you have depression (which drinking only adds to) and so have little feeling about anything. Depression very often does not manifest as sadness or despair, but rather as numbness or disinterest in life.

Some people would say it is a lack of any "spiritual" dimension in your life. Spiritual not meaning religious, but a sense of purpose in life. This is sort of a philosophical thing. If this is life, with no afterlife (I also believe that) then how do I want to spend it? To me the fact that this IS life makes me want to live it and feel it to the fullest. Not just the "thrills" because those are always fleeting, but to be present and experience every moment.

That is what motivated me to finally say "enough", shed my addictions and get on with living.
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Old 10-21-2013, 10:34 AM
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When I came to SR, I was looking up information about my mother drinking too much. I, like you, drank a lot, but really hadn't suffered any consequences from it. I really wasn't planning on quitting myself. Someone said to me, you have given all of those years to drinking, why not give NOT drinking a try? I am on Day 23 and I feel so good, I hope never to go back!! Think of it as a new adventure. If you are smart cookie now, just imagine yourself off the sauce! Read recovery books with a rational/logical bent. Those appealed to my brain and made me feel stupid for ever drinking.
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Old 10-21-2013, 11:10 AM
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Hi Fallion,

Welcome to SR!

Although you said this:
Posting here doesn't seem to have helped much so far but thanks for the replies everyone!
I really recommend that you stick around and read/post more.

I'll just say that the replies to your post have helped me, and I think that's how this site works in so many ways. We all learn and may help one another through our various life experiences.

I think the "high-functioning" category is a bit of an illusory concept, in my opinion. Sadly, as others have attested, things have a way of catching up to one. I wish I was your age again, knowing what I now know! (I'm 55)

It's great that you're exceptional at your job. Does that fulfill you? Do you enjoy your work? If so, perhaps sans booze you might take it to an even greater level! It sounds to me as though you don't know what else might fulfill you, that life is "boring". Perhaps if you even took a break from alcohol, you might explore things that give you pleasure, perhaps even find something you could become passionate about.

With regard to your original question, my motivation was to stop feeling stuck and sad all the time, alcohol controlled me, it became my only "friend".

Inspiration has come, thankfully, to me through finding this wonderful site, seeing an addiction service, and reading lots of books on alcoholism/recovery.

Good luck, and I wish you the best!
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