Wocso

Well...I am back. Today is day 1...again. Been on and off since this first posting here almost a year ago. To think I could have been sober nearly a full year. Was clean for over two months, then one little drink created the avalanche. Back to 3-4 strong drinks every night and feeling like hell in the morning, yet I do it again every night. I realize that drinking does nothing good for me, yet every night I somehow convince myself, I need it just one more night, or not to stop this week cause its a bad week at work. I know that all my stresses in life are made worse by this poison, yet I cannot find the power to stop. I want to stop. I will stop today and never change my mind. I know how good it feel to have a clear head after weeks of not drinking and that high is way better...I just need some help to get there again. Thanks for listening...

Br00ksie

Do you have a plan for how you are going to get and remain sober? Are you ready to change your lifestyle to accommodate sobriety?

Once I got to the point that you're at, I asked a friend to take me to an AA meeting. I've gone to a meeting almost every day since I decided to get sober.

Welcome back!

Gottalife

Welcome back Wosco. Sorry to hear of your battles. I see from you posts that you have checked out a few of the "self help" options, but have not been able to "find the power to stop"

I was like that, lack of power was my dilemna. Maybe if you did what I did, you might get what I got. The power to live happily in this world without the need to drink.

Ghostlight1

I was like that, too. I 'quit' so many times I coudn't count them. Don't give up. It took me many attempts and it's been two years nine months since I've had a drink.
And I was a bad drunk. Drinking morning, noon and night. This went on for twenty years.
It's progressive if I had continued to drink I'd probably be in the grave by now.

Just don't stop trying. I have been where you are, and it is possible to quit. Many of us here are doing it.

Keep us posted, and best to you.

soberhawk

Welcome back Wosco

Jackie38

Never quit quitting.

Wocso

The self help pieces have been good to read. Just finished the Jason Vale book but still cannot seem to find the power to stop although I agree with everything in the books. I want to stop but cannot seem to find the power in my head to do it. I know its bad, makes me feel like crap, yet I keep doing it for the thrill of the "buzz" and to relieve stress and relax. I need a plan. Any advice?

Imabuleva

Yes. Find a local AA meeting and attend it religiously.

ovrock

Hello wasco. We all been at the stage you are at... You are not alone... I am just back posting here, so I am not familiar with your history. Do you attend AA? I was known here for resisting AA out of fear that the public will know I was attending meetings. The same public that witnessed me making an ass of myself daily.... AA helps... Atleast in the earlier stages... You have the desire to stop, thats a real plus...

Charliee

Welcome back! Keep posting, there is a lot of support here.

ExWinoMom

Welcome back! Maybe you needed to relapse to understand the first step of AA. You are doing well coming back here. Good for you!

Wocso

Thank you for the posts and replies. It has been a rough week. I am reminded of not only the physical pain but also all the mental energy that gets wasted when drinking.
Today has to be Day 1 of my "big plan"...I will keep posting till I find my way.

Wocso

It is day one again today...really not sure why I am so powerless this time. I have stopped in the past, why can I not just do it again? It is like my brain is in a war with itself. I have read books, want to stop. Just need to want it more I guess. What have others done when in this situation?

instant

Have ypu read about AVRT/ rational recovery. It might help understand the 'self talk'.

It is possible to get sober- gettingthat foothold can be hard won

Dee74

I found that my alcoholism didn't stay static through the years...it got worse - whereas once I could restrict myself to weekends, later on in my life I couldn't.

what kinds of things are going through your mind before you drink again wocso?

D

hawkeyefan

Welcome back!! I think, sometimes, IMO, instead of always saying "this is day one again", you can look at it as, I have been sober 42 days of the last 56, or whatever the time frame is...this, IMO, helps you realize that you have had a lot of sober days, your not a "failure"..look at your success!!!!! Start again with the confidence that you want it and you can do it...keep trying!!!

StevenT

Just going to add my voice to that of those who stated AA worked for them

I never had the power to stay stopped. I stopped more times then I could count, but it never lasted very long, sometimes as little as hours.

AA led me to the power to stay stopped. Next tuesday is 9 months.

Don't know until you try.