New to recovery and slipped up last night
 

Hey, I'm just starting off trying to stay away from drinking and drugs. Drinking has been my main issue in terms if substance abuse, but I do a few other things from time to time. My girlfriend recently got out of rehab, and for the most part, I didn't go out or drink during her entire stay in rehab. Anyway, I did t really want to drink last night, but I ended up drinking at my friends house. I expected that my girlfriend wouldn't call, because she's had a lot going on recently and has been acting very distant, hasn't responded to a few text messages and missed calls from me, and she is back in a recovery house. I planned on attending my first meeting on Monday night, but I called her yesterday and left a voicemail saying that if it was okay with her that I would like to have gone last night. She ended up calling me back last night, and since I didn't expect the call and I didn't have A very good week, I was kind of drunk when she called and I told her pretty much immediately that I was drunk. She got kind of mad and told me to call her today. I did and I left a voicemail for her apologizing and saying that I really want to go, but I really hope it's not too late. Drinking has messed up a bunch of opportunities for me and really don't want it to mess up this opportunity because I really do love her and I've had strong feelings for her for a long time now and im trying to give her space because i know she needs it. If anyone has any advice for me that would be great.

Just forget about last night and try again. We've all done it and it doesn't matter. Your girlfriend should show you the same support too. She'll probably calm down but she shouldn't be so judgemental.

Hey buddy :) going to a meeting sounds like a good way to start your journey. We all have slip ups and you shouldn't kick yourself for doing it! If I were you I'd probably stave away from my old drinking buddies or people that you think may offer you alcohol. You need to understand that it's going to be difficult and even when you are feeling strong you may crumble if someone offers you a drink and enables you. If you're going to hang out with friends that you previously drank with you should maybe mention that you don't want to drink and it might be detrimental for them to offer you anything.

I feel you should wait until your girlfriend gets back to you before you take any further action with that, if she is in rehab for some substance than she, more than anyone, will understand how tough it is to take that first step into recovery. Just let her know that you want to quit and really put your all into making that a reality :) you'll need her support and you should let her know that you will be there for her when she needs you.

Otherwise, best of luck my friend, I hope everything turns out well for you

-ENC

Hi Mcallister, welcome!
It sounds like you really want things to work out with your girlfriend, but are having your own problem with drinking. If you want to support her in her recovery, you need to step up and stop too. I really recommend that you quit for yourself, however. Keep reading the posts here for advice and and support. It isn't an easy thing to do, but it is worth it. Get into AA or NA, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps. Educate yourself on what others have done to quit and maintain sobriety. Be willing, honest and keep an open mind. You can go far with those three things

Yes we have all done different things to maintain sobriety, be it AA or not. I remember being told AA was the only way and going along with it.

I'm very glad you joined us Macallister. You found a great place where we all care and don't judge. This is hard work, but you can do it. I hope you'll keep posting. You are not alone.

Don't ever pick up the phone when you've been drinking.

I had a three-year relapse beginning about five years ago after twenty five years without a drink.

In that short time, I managed to destroy my professional reputation while also losing more than one job, lost forever the woman I loved, found myself without a place to live, and nearly died from 'round-the-clock drinking, usually between 1.5 and two liters of vodka every day.

I wouldn't recommend this as a way to get sober to anyone.

:welcome to SR! You've come to a very supportive place if you want to stop drinking. Going to meetings might not be a bad idea. At least you'd be among people who know what you're going thru.:)

Thanks everybody. Your suggestions are very helpful. I just don't know how to go about this. I want to go to a meeting, but I first off don't want to go by myself, and I also don't want to accidentally run into her at a meeting because she's still avoiding me. I feel so stupid because I drank because I was upset about a variety of things. There's so much more to this situation than I can include, but I've been trying to give her space, but I don't know what's crossing the line. I don't know the rules of her recovery house, and I just want to make sure she has money, food and cigarettes, but I can't find out because I'm trying to give her space, and I know she's mad at me, and when things aren't going my way, that's when I want to drink more than ever. I won't do it again. Saturday night was one of the biggest mistakes I've made in a while, and I've learned a lot through all of this. Any more suggestions would be great. Thanks a lot.

Not to mention that she is my ONLY sober friend. Everyone else I know has substance abuse problems on some level. It makes it really really hard.

I suggest picking up the phone and call an AA or NA hotline. They can help you with someone to pick you up and take you to a meeting, guide you in your current situation, or help you find a sponsor. If she is your ONLY sober friend, you need more sober friends! When you take care of your using problem, you can be there for her when she needs you. If you continue using she cannot be around you at all. You must take care of yourself 1st. You can do it!