sobersovereign

I don't want to drink, and I'm not craving it, but my life feels like such a wreck and I'm really just feeling like sh*t about things. Two months has historically been a tricky relapse time for me and I think I'm aware of that in the background, too, but mostly I just want to get my life together and I can't seem to manage to do it. I am seeing a therapist and she doesn't seem to think I need any meds, I just need to take more action in my life, but action seems like the most impossible thing. Anyway, nothing huge to report, just wanted to come here and vent a little on a lonely Saturday. Hope you all are having a great sober weekend.

DAB

Why do you think your life is a wreck?
You are making progress in your recovery.
You came here and decided to vent instead of other damaging alternatives.
That is great!
Congrats on being almost two months sober, you are doing fantastic!

sobersovereign

Thanks D. My career is in the toilet, I have no friends, and I have no relationship with any of my (incredibly toxic) family members. I just feel really lonely and stuck and discouraged with myself. But I am sober, which is the most important thing, and this is the most time I have managed to get behind me in a couple of years.

UrbanFarmer

I felt the same way, and then out of no where i had a voicemail for a good job interview Tuesday, then I just got the flu. Its hard with the ups and downs but keep your head up, never know what tomorrow brings.

SereneEdition

Congrats on 2 months & good choice on venting. Writing it down can have a nice release effect.

Not feeling up for taking action (and feeling overwhelmed) is pretty common at 2 months - the body is still rebalancing chemicals in the brain. It should settle down. In the meantime, it's also best to let the brain rebalance back to baseline without other chemicals introduced if at all possible - and be gentle with yourself while the brain is doing it's thing.

Getting a life together doesn't happen overnight (or even in 2 months), right?
Maybe working on one item at a time, just like taking one day at a time in terms of sobriety, might help.

MythOfSisyphus

Well, start out by dwelling on the good stuff. Being sober is epic, I hope you know that. We all like to think we drank because of problems, but drinking solves no problems and creates many. So when you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING! You're smart to realize booze is the enemy, never your friend.

Maybe you need to develop...something. A "hobby" sounds trivial but it's not. Take some time to read, work on your career, anything that moves you in a positive direction. Drunks are basically drifting aimlessly through life, completely unmoored from reality. Take some action to at least give you the feeling of making some progress and being in control of your life. No matter how small.

Don't get hung up comparing your life to anyone elses, either. As someone here says in their signature everyone is in a battle that you can't see. Everyone looks like they have it together but you can't see how their life really is. Just work on your own and let things come.

ExWinoMom

Hey sovereign, are you going to aa meetings? That really helps give you hope about life, does for me anyway x

sobersovereign

Thanks all. EWM, where I live there are only a few meetings a week, and there are no other types of meetings. My recovery plan is SR, my therapy appointments, and a lot of self-help on the side. It's keeping me sober, which is the important thing. I am trying to be easy and gentle with myself but I can't help but feel I "should" be doing something more productive with my life at this point than just sitting around, staying sober, reading SR, and watching movies with my dog...that may be all I can really manage at the moment, but it doesn't feel good that apart from the sobriety it's all I could manage while I was drinking, as well.