shadow777

ive been looking at the posts on this site for a while now and its given me a lot of insperation so i thought id post where im at and maybe someone will identify.
im 3 days sober today and back at meetings, ive had a few months sobriety here and there with the help of treatment centres and aa but always relapse. the past 6-7 months ive just been drinking and taking drugs and now its got to the point where i just cant cope with it. ive lost all of my friendships and most of my family over my drinking now and spend all day alone. i just feel like ive given up on myself and it honestly feels like ill never be able to quit and that theres somthing wrong with me because i keep relapsing. i get so frusted with the idea of not being able to stop i could pull my own hair out. people in the rooms say you have to be desperate to stop but what does it take to become desperate. ive been through so much and i still dont feel like ive hit any kind of rock bottom. if i had one wish it would seriously be to get out of this nighmare and live a sober normal life. my head keeps telling me not to bother with meetings cos ill just drink again but im giving it another shot anyway. i just dont want to be depressed and alone anymore. anyway rant over lol.

minouminou

If you don't want to be alone anymore, it sounds like you have what it takes to be desperate. Desperation doesn't have to mean the same thing for everyone. For me it was the loneliness, all by itself. And right now you are not alone, and you don't have to ever be alone. If you believe you are ready, and if you are willing, then that's all it takes. You're here, right? That's huge. Congratulations on three big days! Check out a meeting and try asking for help. This is a big thing you are doing and you deserve help. You don't have to do this alone!

soberhawk

Welcome to SR shadow.

I am glad you joined us.

There is a lot of examples here that people do stop, we get enough and change our ways.

It can be done .

Concrats on the 3 days.

MythOfSisyphus

Welcome to SR, Shadow777! No time like the present to quit, and SR is a great aid! It's good to have you here.

jutam

I use to dream of a 'normal" sober life. I just didn't know how to do it. I gave up hope of achieving it. It felt easier to kill myself than to recover.... well I tried and failed too many times.
5 months later, Im living that life I dreamed of. one day turned into another, and a week and a month...
keep going, it can be done.
The best way to not be depressed and alone is to stop drinking....
get the help you need, go forth and be amazing!

shadow777

thanks for the supportive comments guys! just realised im actually 6 days sober today, a week tomorrow! im really taking it one day at a time at the moment. one min im feeling great and anything seems possible the next i just want to curl up in my bed. got alot of negativity floating round in my head that im trying to ignore cos i know where it leads. giving a little prayer to my hp for some help and wishing everyone a happy sober day

YoungAndClean

I couldn't stay sober, but my higher power has been able to keep me sober one day at a time.

least

to SR! You've come to a very supportive place. You can stop drinking but you've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. Do you want it that badly?


Have you considered counseling? I see my counselor regularly and it helps a lot. She helped me get sober and now helps with my life. She's a godsend.