Eliasson

All of my friends and my husband are out drinking tonight. I'm home alone with my dogs at 7:30 pm on a Saturday night, already in my pj's, and feeling sorry for myself. Seriously contemplating drinking a whole bottle of wine. The cravings are so bad I am in tears. This hasn't been an issue for a few weeks and I really had been hoping I was over all the cravings now . Also, I went back to school this Semester at 47 and got an A on my midterm today. I feel like I should be celebrating and the only way I know how to do that is with alcohol! Instead I am alone and fighting this stupid addictive voice. I'm only a month and a half sober and I rarely make it past this point. I really want to make it this time but sometimes I wonder what the point is? This is HARD!! I've been drinking since I was 12 and I don't know how to do sobriety.
Sorry for all the whining. Somehow writing here makes me feel not quite so alone...

suki44883

Eat a big bowl of ice cream. Seriously! Ice cream will stop those cravings and really, what can be more celebratory than a big ol' bowl of ice cream?

Hawkeye13

You aren't alone. We have been there too and some of us are still working hard to get that first month and a half.

Congratulations on your return to school and your A!

Not drinking really doesn't equal depriving yourself. I know if feels like that but what you are doing is caring for yourself. You are establishing a new habit--the new "normal" for you will feel wonderful when you get used to it. I never believed that until it happened to me. Please hang in there and keep going.

countingdays

I'm struggling tonight to. The urge seems has subsided for now but man am I no fun to be around when urges hit. Wishing you strength tonight....I feel your pain and you are most definitely not alone.

LadyBlue0527

First, I want you to smile and be happy that you did what you did. You came HERE! You didn't give in, you recognized that pesky voice and you did something about it. Do you know how HUGE that is? You want this!

It gets better, it really does. It doesn't help that everyone else is out, I know. We're all here for you though! Do you like to read? Is there anything that you can do to busy yourself when there are nights like this? Again, this does get better!

Here's to you for coming here!

smac2166

You got a A! Awesome job! So many changes and at our age( 47 here on Mon)! So proud of you! After all that work you can totally get through one stupid night. Netflix a movie? Online shop? You can do this!

suki44883

I'm really not kidding about the ice cream. It works.

Eliasson

Thank you all so much! Unfortunately to top it all off my closest friend in sobriety just texted me that she is out drinking. I know this isn't about me but I'm so hurt and angry. I had been confiding in her and trusting her. What if every friend I make in sobriety goes back out drinking?
Anyway, I AM eating ice cream and I AM grateful that I get to be sober tonight. Oh and I'm grateful for my sober friends here at SR. Thank you

Woohoo

Congrats on your A and going back to school at 47..good for you! See how strong and smart you are...don't let that alcoholic voice win. It wants you to give in..I agree feel proud..celebrate, but the ice cream sounds like a better choice Hang in there and so glad you came here to vent..we all need that..when we have cravings.

LadyBlue0527

Pardon my french but WTF?????????? This is a friend? She's worse than the AV! That is so unfair. You need to tell her to never do that again!

Eliasson, you can get through this, you're already doing the right thing by coming here