zoey09

Came close to drinking last night. My AV kept coming up with some pretty great sounding excuses at me last night, it was pretty intense.

Still make bad decisions when I'm sober, but thankful getting drunk did not end up being one of them.

Still have things in my head I need to work through. Should spend more time on SR, make an appointment with my counsellor, create new goals for myself.

I want to quit smoking. It feels wrong to be putting all that junk in my body. Also feels like I still have addictive behaviour and thoughts around smoking. I think this will be more challenging than quitting the other stuff... Feels like its the last "bad" thing I have to cling to.

Think I need to introduce a "detox" program into my life. More meditation, more healthy foods and exercise, more journaling, quit smoking, giving social media a break etc...

"Nobody said this was going to be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

least

Congrats on fifty six days sober! And good for you for not giving in to the Voice.

actorchris

Glad you didnt drink! I've dealt with that myself, and fallen, and it really sucks! Glad you're on here posting. Keep fighting the fight, being good to yourself, doing what you know you need to keep getting healthier. You're worth it!

EndGameNYC

I did so much damage to myself and in so many ways, that when I was brought to my knees at the end of my three-year relapse, I just didn't care anymore. I had intense cravings for most of the day, every single day, for about ten months.

I found not only recovery, but an unimaginable life, by first working and then living the AA Big Book Twelve Steps.

Science is terribly overrated, and spirituality terribly underrated.

DoubleDragons

Just take baby steps with all the healthy changes you want to make. Every step makes a difference. Just don't allow yourself to step backwards.

courage2

Congratulations on 56 days sober!

I think you're at a tricky time -- time enough to lose some of the desperation that got you to quit in the first place, but not enough time so that powerful urges seldom occur & not enough time to have found a groove of sober habits.

It's great to take up meditation & healthier eating now, and even think about quitting the smokes...

BUT also remember baby steps. For me, my number one goal, every day, is not to have a drink. No matter what. And no matter what else I do. That doesn't give me a pass to act like an a**, but it does mean that even if my behavior in the day doesn't meet the goals I set, it's a good day if it's a sober one.

Hevyn

Zoey, I felt tempted quite a bit in the first few months. It all got better though. I can't believe it, but drinking rarely crosses my mind now. The thing I lived for all those years! It gets easier, we promise.

Hawkeye13

This has also been true for me. If I do yoga, cook healthy food, write in my journal or meditate that's great, but if I don't, that's OK too. Not drinking alcohol is the only non-negotiable item on my list. If I get that right, the rest will follow in time. Trying to do too much too fast makes my AV voice worse at times, so I pay close attention to that.

Great job on your 56 days of sobriety!

wiscsober

Congratulations on 56 days

You are more than welcome on the nicotine cessation forum!

Proud of you....you are doing well living in the solution.

zoey09

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. It's been a difficult past couple of days, think I'm just feeling overwhelmed. Went for a drive to clear my head and had a good cry... It felt good I think I needed that release.

ChefWolverine

When I ever get a sudden urge or my AV starts blabbing inside my head I promise myself I'm going to start drinking tomorrow. Always makes me chuckle.

SnoozyQ

Zoey , good for you for posting :-)

Keep them coming so you can lean on us xx

pinkdog

Hi zoey, congrats on your sobertime. Well done.