Need help with adult addict
 

My 22 year old son recently completed a program at a treatment facility out of state. He had been addicted to opiates and then to methadone as he was going to a methadone clinic every day. Took 8 days of detox and another 51 days of meetings and counseling. He is now living with me and his stepdad. My husband recently had a wisdom tooth removed and the doctor prescribed Percocet but my husband could only manage taking them for a couple of days because he hated the way it made him feel - he was prescribed 20 tablets and had only taken a total of 5. A couple days later, 6 were missing so we assumed the worst and I confronted my son about it (of course he denied it) until I found a rolled up piece of paper with powder residue and his roadside assistance card that he used to chop them up. He said he took 4 of them and flushed the other two (which I doubt). So, my husband put the bottle with the remaining 7 tablets in his bathroom drawer. You have to enter our bedroom and then go into the bathroom from there. He discovered yesterday that the bottle was empty. I confronted my son again and he said he took them but of course lied about what he did with them. I want to create a contract with him that spells out my boundaries and the consequences if he relapses one more time. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.:gaah

I'd make the consequences to be moving out if he screws up one more time. He certainly doesn't seem to want to stay clean if he's stealing pills to get high. I hope he cleans up his act soon before he loses everything.:(


Forgot to say :welcome to SR!

Thank you for your response. I was thinking the very same thing but it always helps when you get an opinion from someone outside the family. He doesn't realize how good he has it here. My husband is an ex police officer and he will be having a discussion with my son tonight to address what could legally happen to him for taking someone elses prescription medication. I am personally willing to let the consequences fall where they may because my dad was an alcoholic (died 5 years ago at age 64 due to his illness). I disconnected myself from his addiction and told him I was meeting with a funeral director to make his arrangements while he was still here to help...he died 4 days later (3 days after I sat down with the funeral director).

HI Lily. I'm really sorry to hear you are going through this. I think it's important that if it's your house, it's your rules, and there are consequences for breaking them. Unfortunately though, I think you need to be prepared for your son to break them again, soon. He's an addict and until he wants to stop for himself, he won't. It's unlikely that his stepdad the ex police officer is going to scare him into stopping. Maybe being homeless will though.

Lily, I want to say I'm sorry for what your going through..my husband is an addict and has struggled for 15 years in and out of rehabs and jail he has also stolen my child's medicine when she broken her ankle during cheerleading practice, we had to hid the medicine in her car and he still got into her car a took medicine. My husband has recently decided to change and get help but in the past 4 months he has slipped/relapsed 4 times I'm am also at my breaking point due to I can't continue to live through another full addiction. My husband says if I leave he has no one he uses guilt and then he shows he sorry and he does great and then he goes and ruins all the progress he makes. I wish I had the power to kick him out but it's so hard and I fear if I throw him out will he relapse and overdoses and no is there to help

Lilly13, my 22 year old son is a recovering alcoholic. I know how difficult this is for you. You need to write that contract up with your boundaries and stick with them. As hard as it is, it may just be the thing he needs to stop the downward spiral in his life. I detached from my son and he hit his bottom and got sober. Hang in there.

Thank You to all who replied
 

Thank you all for responding to my post regarding my 22 year old son. You have all given me some great ideas and some comfort knowing I'm not alone in this fight against substance abuse. I made my son tell his stepdad what he did (Ileft them alone so they could talk). My son said they still had more to talk about but said it went well. My husband on the other hand, agreed the talk is not finished but said what he got out of it was basically summed up as "I'm sorry I got caught".

I still think the contract is something I need to do and like many of you have said...I must be prepared to follow through with the consequences and in this case will be to make him leave my home.