Controversy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Mars
Posts: 296
Controversy
[sarcasm] My original post about my progress was so, so... incredibly intense... so deep and hard that it couldn't be handled, users and moderators alike. It really was that heavy... [/sarcasm]
Even though I attempted to give an honest description of where I'm at, what I experienced and how I intend to go further, some people seemed to be unable to handle it.
To be honest, it was a tiny bit different than the usual stories. Like a piece of cheese that taste just a bit different.
Yet it got members and moderators all over the place with responses.
I'm just posting an honest account.
It's slightly different from what you usually hear, but isn't that just life?
So unless you can't handle a tiny shift into what you're used to, here I go at another attempt.
Because I care about you all and that is not based on any sarcasm.
So they figured out I figured out the whole installation of staying sober stuff. They figured out I figured it out and improved it, yes I did, by day 7. I had it down by day 2.
Am I being cocky, no! Just being honest.
There were so many holes to poke in it, it was ridiculous. And that does include the 12-step program, which I laughed my way through. Again, not being cocky, but how can people not see the gaping holes in it??
Anyway, I won't get into it any more or my well-intended post that I did put effort in will get deleted again.
I am getting a message across. How you view me or respond to it is up to you. I'm neutral when I write this. Giving info.
So there it is. Again. An attempt to tell the truth.
Even though I attempted to give an honest description of where I'm at, what I experienced and how I intend to go further, some people seemed to be unable to handle it.
To be honest, it was a tiny bit different than the usual stories. Like a piece of cheese that taste just a bit different.
Yet it got members and moderators all over the place with responses.
I'm just posting an honest account.
It's slightly different from what you usually hear, but isn't that just life?
So unless you can't handle a tiny shift into what you're used to, here I go at another attempt.
Because I care about you all and that is not based on any sarcasm.
So they figured out I figured out the whole installation of staying sober stuff. They figured out I figured it out and improved it, yes I did, by day 7. I had it down by day 2.
Am I being cocky, no! Just being honest.
There were so many holes to poke in it, it was ridiculous. And that does include the 12-step program, which I laughed my way through. Again, not being cocky, but how can people not see the gaping holes in it??
Anyway, I won't get into it any more or my well-intended post that I did put effort in will get deleted again.
I am getting a message across. How you view me or respond to it is up to you. I'm neutral when I write this. Giving info.
So there it is. Again. An attempt to tell the truth.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
James, I think that there are a lot of supportive people here.
I believe that wanting to get well and wanting to be right can often be mutually exclusive. I don't doubt that any theories about recovery are full of holes, science hasn't scratched the surface yet.
The only prescription in this day and age for an alcoholic is the same whether you are a member of Mensa or keeping a park bench warm...don't drink. I hope that there are as many brilliant minds working on a cure for addiction as there are on P vs NP.
I hope you find the support and help you are looking for.
I believe that wanting to get well and wanting to be right can often be mutually exclusive. I don't doubt that any theories about recovery are full of holes, science hasn't scratched the surface yet.
The only prescription in this day and age for an alcoholic is the same whether you are a member of Mensa or keeping a park bench warm...don't drink. I hope that there are as many brilliant minds working on a cure for addiction as there are on P vs NP.
I hope you find the support and help you are looking for.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
James, I think you just need to chill a bit my friend. Seriously.
If the treatment you started is not working for whatever reason, then it's not working. That's fine. A lot of stuff doesn't work the first, second or umpteenth time. I think most of us here get that from our own experience.
And, as Jaynie and others have said, if you're smarter, stupider, younger, older, greener...whatever-er than others, that's fine too. But the thing is that we all know very well that alcohol does not discriminate and will kill an Einstein the same as it will kill a Joe Schmo (no discourtesy to Joe Schmo, btw). So if people come across as harsh or disbelieving or dismissive, I would garner that in 99.5% of those cases, it is because they care, want you to live, and want to see you get better sooner rather than later.
That's all. No ulterior motives.
You're just gonna have to trust on that one, James.
In the meantime, chill, dude.
Seriously. Just relax and do your thing tomorrow. We'll all still be here.
Good luck tomorrow, you'll get it all figured out. Getting hyper-sensitive ain't gonna help.
((Hugs))
If the treatment you started is not working for whatever reason, then it's not working. That's fine. A lot of stuff doesn't work the first, second or umpteenth time. I think most of us here get that from our own experience.
And, as Jaynie and others have said, if you're smarter, stupider, younger, older, greener...whatever-er than others, that's fine too. But the thing is that we all know very well that alcohol does not discriminate and will kill an Einstein the same as it will kill a Joe Schmo (no discourtesy to Joe Schmo, btw). So if people come across as harsh or disbelieving or dismissive, I would garner that in 99.5% of those cases, it is because they care, want you to live, and want to see you get better sooner rather than later.
That's all. No ulterior motives.
You're just gonna have to trust on that one, James.
In the meantime, chill, dude.
Seriously. Just relax and do your thing tomorrow. We'll all still be here.
Good luck tomorrow, you'll get it all figured out. Getting hyper-sensitive ain't gonna help.
((Hugs))
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Your best thinking got you to where you are, essentially imprisoned at your parents house. It's time to recognize that your thinking is flawed. If you had all of the answers you would not be in this situation you are.
Things for me got better when I stop fighting everything and everybody.
Things for me got better when I stop fighting everything and everybody.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 355
Originally Posted by james872 
I am getting a message across.
I was just praying for you today and wondering how all our friends in rehab are doing. . . I truly hope you find what you are looking for, that you stay safe, and one day experience true joy. Still praying for you.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
In the friends and family section of this forum, we call what you are doing quacking. Don't drink, go to your appointment tomorrow and if you don't like AA give RR or another method an earnest try. You might be unique but you would not be the first genius to drink himself to death in his parents' basement. If you are an alcoholic, you can never drink safely again. Accept it and deal with it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 559
i did this in therapy - i intellectualised it so i could deflect from concentrating on myself and learning things i found unpalatable.
don't do this. let go and look for the similarites, not the differences. you wouldn't be in treatment if you didn't think there was a problem.
best of luck.
don't do this. let go and look for the similarites, not the differences. you wouldn't be in treatment if you didn't think there was a problem.
best of luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
There's only one "controversy" you should address, and you should only address it for yourself.
Two weeks ago you were drinking yourself into oblivion after you had been possibly diagnosed with a "bleeding stomach". What measure of IQ does it take to get one's head around that?
You mention "gaping holes", shooting "holes" through other people's ideas of recovery - you should have printed out your drunk posts here, brought them with you and laid them side by side on the table next to your IQ score.
I say this harshly because maybe you need some harshness. Because you say, above, that your story is somehow "different than the usual stories" - my man, there's absolutely nothing different about it. You are an addict with a serious and, from what you've told us, life threatening problem. It is possible, from what you've told us, that you are risking your life by drinking again and again. There is nothing at all unique or special about that James.
You need help, like so many of us here. I hope you have the humility and the courage (those two things are not mutually exclusive) to get help and change your life.
Wishing you the best.
Two weeks ago you were drinking yourself into oblivion after you had been possibly diagnosed with a "bleeding stomach". What measure of IQ does it take to get one's head around that?
You mention "gaping holes", shooting "holes" through other people's ideas of recovery - you should have printed out your drunk posts here, brought them with you and laid them side by side on the table next to your IQ score.
I say this harshly because maybe you need some harshness. Because you say, above, that your story is somehow "different than the usual stories" - my man, there's absolutely nothing different about it. You are an addict with a serious and, from what you've told us, life threatening problem. It is possible, from what you've told us, that you are risking your life by drinking again and again. There is nothing at all unique or special about that James.
You need help, like so many of us here. I hope you have the humility and the courage (those two things are not mutually exclusive) to get help and change your life.
Wishing you the best.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 107
Just chiming in here to say that I understand your attitude toward treatment. You are picking it apart, and yet you are really the one who will suffer because of this. It's almost like you are identifying holes so you can use them to escape.
I was not going to stay sober until being sober is an incentive in itself. It felt really great when I began to use my ingenuity to devise ways and reasons to stay sober!
I was not going to stay sober until being sober is an incentive in itself. It felt really great when I began to use my ingenuity to devise ways and reasons to stay sober!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
After reading the other threads that were posted. I am of the mind frame that the Rehab may have let you go due to your behaviors of being an unwilling participant in their recovery model. The only way that any "program" will work, is if the person implements the "program" into their life. Walking into a facility and disputing the recovery methods, or finding holes does nothing for the individual or the people who are there to help. Alcoholism is one of those "ailments" that can not be talked through and then problem solved. The only way around this is abstinence. Period. This is why medical professionals send their alcoholic patients to AA. Now, there are many roads to the same destination and I hope that you find a road to walk quickly. Your life depends on your participation.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
sorry to hear that rehab wasn't successful for you
I agree with previous posters-it does seem you are really overthinking this and you seem really resentful,even angry. People on here are just here to help
For me the questions I needed to ask were:
Do I have a drink problem?
Do I want to stop drinking?
How am I going to do it?
It doesn't matter about IQs, intelligence, intensity, getting message across to others,others not 'understanding' us, others not getting the 'truth' whatever that may be or what others think of us. That's all just side stuff being thrown out to stop us addressing the real issue
All that matters is us as individuals 'getting' that we need to stop drinking and making a plan that works for us in doing that, whatever that plan/recovery method may be.
Maybe forget about what others think and just get back to basics. what plan do you now have in place to stop drinking
I agree with previous posters-it does seem you are really overthinking this and you seem really resentful,even angry. People on here are just here to help
For me the questions I needed to ask were:
Do I have a drink problem?
Do I want to stop drinking?
How am I going to do it?
It doesn't matter about IQs, intelligence, intensity, getting message across to others,others not 'understanding' us, others not getting the 'truth' whatever that may be or what others think of us. That's all just side stuff being thrown out to stop us addressing the real issue
All that matters is us as individuals 'getting' that we need to stop drinking and making a plan that works for us in doing that, whatever that plan/recovery method may be.
Maybe forget about what others think and just get back to basics. what plan do you now have in place to stop drinking
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