LostinTO

I have been trying for years to quit. The worst part of it is not sleeping and that feeling of helplessness at 4am when even people on the internet are asleep.

I live alone, my 18 year old sons spends a few nights every couple of weeks with me. Other than him there is no one else in my life. I get into panic mode around 3-4am when I'm not drinking. I started getting really depressed and I try not to cry because if I do I don't think I will stop. My Dr has me on anti depressants which helps for the most part but not during those early mornings when I'm not drinking. I can't sleep, I can't stop my mind from racing and I'm totally afraid because I'm alone. No one in the street, no one on the net and it sets off panic attacks in me.

Has anyone else experienced this and what do you do ?

IOAA2

Many of us identify and work to stop drinking here and places like AA. The work is to stop and stay stopped drinking. I needed the fellowship for face to face stability though I didn't like all I heard. I liked being sober better so for many years stayed and today am comfortable in my own skin as a starting benefit along with gaining many friends over many years. Hook up and BE WELL

Regretter

Hey, Lostin. Yes. I had 20yrs of that so I feel for you.

My fix is specific to me and probably inappropriate for me to discuss here, but you'll always find someone on this forum 24/7.

I believe it's all organic, Lostin. One thing connects to the other. I don't believe in antidepressants anymore as I believe all they do is mask the cause of our rooted issues and prolong the recovery. Sometimes good for temporary relief, but really I think they're designed to give us some time to work out why we're not as ease to begin with, not a fix to the problem(s).

Stick around and you'll find plenty of us know where you're at - you're not alone - and you'll get some good quality advice from many of the people here how to make inroads.

By the inch it's a cinch.

awuh1

I second the suggestion to try an AA meeting. It may be difficult for you to muster the courage to walk through the door that first time but I have little doubt you will be very happy you did.

AlefVavResh

This place never sleeps. People post here from Canada, US, UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, India. . . . so I challenge you to find an hour when someone isn't online. Try a thread called "Anyone awake?" We're here Around the clock.

So that's how I'd deal with the 4am issue. Then I agree with others, the AA fellowship has completely changed my life.

Good luck, welcome, and keep posting!

Coldfusion

Toronto is famous as the home of agnostic AA! I would love to hear about a meeting...

LostinTO

Agnostic AA ? I never heard of it but it would be exactly what I'm looking for. My Dad used to take me to AA meetings when I was a kid and I never did like the religious aspect of it.

Coldfusion

It looks as though there are four groups with five meetings per week, from a Google search of "AA agnostic Toronto." We have a local meeting called "Mindfulness," and pass around various versions of the twelve steps (instead of a poster on the wall). One of the versions is from Toronto.

least

Sounds like you need to get past the first week of withdrawal so you can stay sober. WD can be so bad as to get you to drink again just to hide the symptoms of it.


Can you see your doctor for help in getting thru withdrawal?

LostinTO

Yeah I thought of that and think I will.

Twofish

Hi Lost, Welcome! I'm not a drinker, but my kids are addicts and this makes me stay up most night, worrying about them, blaming me and feeling guilty. I attend alanon, AA sometimes with my girls, and am in a few support groups for friends and family of addicts. My point?? It's the face to face support that I go for and what helps me understand the disease of alcoholism and addiction. Something about being around other people going thru the same things I'm going thru has helped me so much to the point that I look forward to the meetings, others experiences and what helped them. I only hated the coffee, it's no Starbucks, but it's a well worth trade. Take care, TF. Also I've had people give me support at ALL hours of the day and night, SR is open 24/7! Always someone is awake!