matthew1976

I am taking care of my mom after her breast cancer surgery. I have been clean up until now for four months. I spotted the percocets on the kitchen counter and as soon as I heard my mom fall asleep I swiped a few of them. What do I do now? I said I wasn't going to touch them. I first spotted them about an hour ago but the temptation got too great. am I an evil person? I can't believe this. She needs those and I took them. How do I prevent myself from doing this again? Do I need more help.? I thought I was threw with my addiction.

ejackson

You're not evil, but you are an addict in a situation that involves drugs. First, find someone else to care for your mom. You cannot do it. And that doesn't point to failure on your part, but rather bravery in knowing your limits.

Good luck--my thoughts are with you, that you'll make the right decision for yourself and your mom.

ScottFromWI

Addiction never leaves us - we only manage it's symptoms. To your question of whether or not you need more help, i would lean towards yes. What were you using to stay sober for those 4 months? Did you stop doing what you were doing?

I'd echo Ejackson's comment too regarding the care of your mother. Until you can sort out your own issues you probably aren't to be trusted around her meds and she should have someone else who can handle her care until that time.

matthew1976

Thank you for the replies. I was hospitalized for depression about two weeks ago for about a month and during that time the doctor took me off of Suboxone. I'm a long time Suboxone user (prescribed) and a few times not prescribed and think I was doing good on it but the only thing .... I couldn't stay awake most of the day. I was nodding on and off and went into deep sleeps. Now since I"ve been off of it I am very more alert. I think you guys are right, I shouldn't be watching her. Temptation is too great. I never in a million years thought I'd be dealing with addiction. Think I will go back home today. Have sisters who can be around and my father will be back later on. I shouldn't be touching that stuff. I o'd'd on methadone six months ago and almost died, thankfully I was found by my father.

ScottFromWI

Make sure you have plans to take care of yourself too Matthew. Have you used NA or any other structured recovery method during any of your sober time?

least

to SR! You'll find lots of support and useful info here. We also have a substance abuse forum you may be interested in.


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