autan

I managed to stop drinking last month for 6 days. I found it tough, but got through it. A friend came up from the Isle of Wight and I thought one drink will be fine. I can control it now, I said to myself.

True enough I had one drink. It was like the last 6 days meant nothing, I was as hooked as ever the next day.

I got really peed off and resentful that I would not allow myself a drink. I told myself, if I just drink sensibly then why am I punishing myself, whats the point in living if I don't feel alive. All that c--p.

Well a month on and I am back, tail tucked in between legs to abstain from alcohol for good if I can. I got owned by my AV and thought I was the one in control, but really it was playing me for a fool.

I am on day 3 again and clean and sober and this time there is no drama, no great proclamation, just a desire to stay sober for today. I will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

I underestimated the patience alcohol has and its subliminal way it worms back into your life.

I was such a fool and I took my eye off the ball. Not this time (fingers crossed),

dwtbd

eff the drama, make proclamations to yourself(and the beast), and acquire the desire !

If the desire wanes, dig deep and re-acquire, you got this
wish you well

ScottFromWI

Glad you are back Autan. The only way to fight that eternal patientce that alcohol has is to make a concrete plan yourself. What can you do different this time to make sure it doesn't happen again?

autan

My proclamation is to not pick up that first drink. If I cant control the beast, then I will sleep or at least try to. I cant drink when I sleep.

Mizzuno

Sobriety is one of those things that has a trial and error to it. Plenty of us have gone out and experimented with drinking, only to discover the truth once again. I am glad that you made your way back.

serious

hey... no worries.
many of us have been there. i'd say very very few people are successful at stopping on their very first try. and even those with months and years of sobriety get "owned" by our AV.

at least you recognize the enemy and are aware of the potential dangers. it's a learning experience and a journey.

you are approaching this with the right attitude, just keep on going and trying and getting better each day.

autan

I think you are all right. The enemy is alcohol and sobriety is the cure. It just takes a long time to get better.

whiskeyman

Remember the Monster is always waiting, be prepared and be ready for him.
It takes a lot of support to beat that guy, but it can be done with constant vigilance.

Nuudawn

HOW will you not pick up the drink? What's in the arsenal when cravings and attempts at rationalizing the drink come? They WILL come autan. What will you do instead of drinking after a hard day at the office? when a friend comes in from the Isle of Wight? when you are bored out of your mind? How will you fill the empty spaces? What things will you say to yourself when a drink looks like an answer?

Hawkeye13

This. You need to have way(s) of coping when the AV speaks up. What things can you fill your former drinking time with that you value and enjoy?