How I Stopped Binge Drinking - Completely
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Abbotsford
Posts: 1
How I Stopped Binge Drinking - Completely
To whoever reads this,
I have been binge drinking since high school. I did not have a constant craving for alcohol on a daily basis but often when I started drinking I would not stop until I blacked out. This has been going on for about 10 years. I embarrassed myself, did things I regretted, and felt terrible and guilty after these nights. I didn't know what to do. I've been considering AA for a couple years, mostly after these wild nights, but never felt as though I truly needed to go. Afterall, I didn't drink everyday or even every other day.
The last time I binged, I made an utter fool of myself with some family discussing an important issue. I knew I could not face this guilt even once more.
I've been studying psychology for years and understand how the subconscious works, but it wasn't until I opened up with a colleague who studies in the same area that together, resolved my issue.
We looked for circumstances that triggered my mind into saying "it's ok to binge drink today". I grew up in a family where most people were and are alcoholics and learned that at family and social gatherings, becoming drunk was the norm. Becoming aware of these triggers allowed me to change my mindset. I realized that any drinks past 2/day were detrimental to myself. I realized that the point of family and social gatherings were to be with and enjoy the people, not the booze. I realize that people get drunk to avoid topics and people, and with courage and willingness, I accepted that some family and social situations are awkward but that's alright. I began to ask myself, "would I drink today or at this event if it wasn't for my previous 'programming'?", or "am I drinking out of expectation that it is normal to do so, do I even want to drink?" "Will drinking make me sleep? How will having a drink benefit or contribute to the night?"
After 10 years of binge drinking I've now gone about 6 months and have been drinking far less. I actually haven't had more than 2 drinks in a day (morning till night including parties), and obviously have not binged. Immediately after becoming aware of my triggers, I didn't even want to drink lots, in fact, I realized that I get slow and the reason people like and love me begins to disappear with more alcohol. The reason I love myself begins to disappear also. I hope this story helps those who have 'learned' that drinking to get drunk is normal. Change does not necessarily mean abstinence, but in my case as a living example, becoming aware of what I had learned over the years, then getting rid of, or changing it was enough to stop drinking when I began to feel the subtle effects of even a drink or two.
I hope my story helps anyone with a similar issues.
I have been binge drinking since high school. I did not have a constant craving for alcohol on a daily basis but often when I started drinking I would not stop until I blacked out. This has been going on for about 10 years. I embarrassed myself, did things I regretted, and felt terrible and guilty after these nights. I didn't know what to do. I've been considering AA for a couple years, mostly after these wild nights, but never felt as though I truly needed to go. Afterall, I didn't drink everyday or even every other day.
The last time I binged, I made an utter fool of myself with some family discussing an important issue. I knew I could not face this guilt even once more.
I've been studying psychology for years and understand how the subconscious works, but it wasn't until I opened up with a colleague who studies in the same area that together, resolved my issue.
We looked for circumstances that triggered my mind into saying "it's ok to binge drink today". I grew up in a family where most people were and are alcoholics and learned that at family and social gatherings, becoming drunk was the norm. Becoming aware of these triggers allowed me to change my mindset. I realized that any drinks past 2/day were detrimental to myself. I realized that the point of family and social gatherings were to be with and enjoy the people, not the booze. I realize that people get drunk to avoid topics and people, and with courage and willingness, I accepted that some family and social situations are awkward but that's alright. I began to ask myself, "would I drink today or at this event if it wasn't for my previous 'programming'?", or "am I drinking out of expectation that it is normal to do so, do I even want to drink?" "Will drinking make me sleep? How will having a drink benefit or contribute to the night?"
After 10 years of binge drinking I've now gone about 6 months and have been drinking far less. I actually haven't had more than 2 drinks in a day (morning till night including parties), and obviously have not binged. Immediately after becoming aware of my triggers, I didn't even want to drink lots, in fact, I realized that I get slow and the reason people like and love me begins to disappear with more alcohol. The reason I love myself begins to disappear also. I hope this story helps those who have 'learned' that drinking to get drunk is normal. Change does not necessarily mean abstinence, but in my case as a living example, becoming aware of what I had learned over the years, then getting rid of, or changing it was enough to stop drinking when I began to feel the subtle effects of even a drink or two.
I hope my story helps anyone with a similar issues.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Although it's great that you have found some success in your psychological remedy, I do believe your six months of success may be a bit premature in heralding anything absolute. I would also suggest that your remedy should include "results may vary". Although I have a great love for psychology, it is foolhardy (IMO) to suggest that all individuals are able to summon and grasp a cognitive approach when in the throes of addictive hunger...when they are emotionally overwhelmed, stressed, lonely etc. High level thinking is often out of reach under duress.
As many addicts desperately hang onto a hope of hanging on to their poison of choice rather than removing it completely in order to learn new coping mechanisms, your post may provide hope where none lies. Newcomers may not be the best place to post your six months of success as a route to recovery.
Nevertheless, I'm glad ..as an individual... you are finding improvement. Do you have a book or talk show circuit in the works?
As many addicts desperately hang onto a hope of hanging on to their poison of choice rather than removing it completely in order to learn new coping mechanisms, your post may provide hope where none lies. Newcomers may not be the best place to post your six months of success as a route to recovery.
Nevertheless, I'm glad ..as an individual... you are finding improvement. Do you have a book or talk show circuit in the works?
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
This is not an appropriate post for the site. Sober does not mean control drinking. it is wonderful that you have found a way at least temporarily. Unfortunately control drinking is not an option for anyone that is in alcoholic and posts like these only continue to add to the suffering of most.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I think what you have found is that you aren't an alcoholic. Alcoholics cannot control their drinking. That is great news for you assuming that your current drinking pattern does not escalate.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Originally Posted by freedomfrombing 
I actually haven't had more than 2 drinks in a day (morning till night including parties),
I am an alcoholic, I do.
Timelord
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 126
I was waiting for his number at the end and "call me now for our 600 easy steps book with free DVD"
Fortunately most people who contribute and gain insight from this site have accepted the fact that moderation is not an option.
Fortunately most people who contribute and gain insight from this site have accepted the fact that moderation is not an option.
No half measures
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 424
Originally Posted by Banquo
I was waiting for his number at the end and "call me now for our 600 easy steps book with free DVD"
Fortunately most people who contribute and gain insight from this site have accepted the fact that moderation is not an option.
Fortunately most people who contribute and gain insight from this site have accepted the fact that moderation is not an option.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 98
Freedom, I'm glad to read your story, and thank you for sharing it.
Alcoholic, problem drinker, binge drinker, whatever label you (or others) want to give it, or not give it, it seems you have found a method that works for you.
I'm sorry your story is being received with so much negativity. As individuals, we each are trying to find what works best for us. Your method wouldn't work for most people here, apparently, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't share it, IMO.
Good luck with your moderation and continuing to identify your triggers.
Alcoholic, problem drinker, binge drinker, whatever label you (or others) want to give it, or not give it, it seems you have found a method that works for you.
I'm sorry your story is being received with so much negativity. As individuals, we each are trying to find what works best for us. Your method wouldn't work for most people here, apparently, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't share it, IMO.
Good luck with your moderation and continuing to identify your triggers.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 37
During a physical, my doctor challenged me to 2 drinks per day. I did that for a few years and it didn’t seem to be that hard. Now, 10 years later, my drinking has progressed somewhat. It progressed so slowly that I hardly noticed.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Point and counter-point is the idea of forums I think. I believe the OP had the best of intentions. I think I drew my gun to shoot holes in his theory simply because he too, at 6 months, is still a newcomer really and many of us have tried just about everything over abstinence.
But I agree he has a voice here ..just like the rest of us. I apologize if I led a charge for ousting. Not my intent.
But I agree he has a voice here ..just like the rest of us. I apologize if I led a charge for ousting. Not my intent.
Say cheese!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,379
Not sure what to say, as was told many yrs back, even a person has once glass a day can be an alcoholic, if it effects ur life and u need it daily it is how u deal with it.
If u can manage at certain times or days or situations does it make u think that u dont have a problem?
Only u can say its a problem.
You said that binged drank and then restircted and doing psychology makes you think that binging drink is maybe better than what we or ourself is an alocholic? binge or daily drinker if it causes problems in ur life then its a problem.
Last i knew pycicatist to pyhcologist to many councerls have more a problem in drinking and suicide, due to stress.
So thanks to ur past and how u go forward, but as everyone is going through diffrent things.
If u can manage at certain times or days or situations does it make u think that u dont have a problem?
Only u can say its a problem.
You said that binged drank and then restircted and doing psychology makes you think that binging drink is maybe better than what we or ourself is an alocholic? binge or daily drinker if it causes problems in ur life then its a problem.
Last i knew pycicatist to pyhcologist to many councerls have more a problem in drinking and suicide, due to stress.
So thanks to ur past and how u go forward, but as everyone is going through diffrent things.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Luxembourg (from UK)
Posts: 106
Thank you for Sharing. Your post is not in any way "inappropriate." Everyone has their own way of dealing with their alcohol issues, just because your way does not suit everyone does not mean that you are not entitled to comment!! I am glad that things are working out for you and hope they continue to do so. I personally have chosen abstinenceas it is the only way forward for me. Good luck and well done.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 59
Judging by your post I'm going to say we're probably around about the same age. To me it sounds like you've grown up and out of alcohol. Just as we look back at some of the silly things we believed and said as teenagers and roll our eyes, you've developed the same feelings towards getting drunk and binge drinking. You are lucky, most people without drinking problems go through the same.
Sadly, for most people here, including myself, moderation isn't an option. I too have grown out of alcohol and realise how stupid I act when drunk and the damage it does. But even knowing this if I had another drink it would inevitably lead to "Well a few more won't hurt..." and straight back to my old four-five days per week binge drinking and possibly even further down that dark road.
Sadly, for most people here, including myself, moderation isn't an option. I too have grown out of alcohol and realise how stupid I act when drunk and the damage it does. But even knowing this if I had another drink it would inevitably lead to "Well a few more won't hurt..." and straight back to my old four-five days per week binge drinking and possibly even further down that dark road.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
Welcome to SR, FFB! 
This is an interesting thread - particularly the responses.
I sense some resentment toward the OP. I imagine that resentment is rooted in the fact that abstinence is the only option for most of us. Hearing about others that can successfully drink is difficult after all of our past failed attempts. Because of how hard we all tried to moderate our drinking, if others can do it then by default we are failures.
I would hate for FFB to not feel welcome here at SR, especially if this current method of moderate drinking backfires. I believe that the majority of us came to SR because we had already exhausted the possibility of drinking moderately. This does not mean that we cannot help people that find our community sooner than we did.
I hope your experiment works out for you FFB, although I find it hard to grasp how you would measure your success. Painstakingly obsessing over limiting my drinks did not work for me. And when I tried it I usually failed miserably and ended up drinking more dangerously than if I had tried nothing at all.
Stick around, read as much as you can, post. This is a great community with a lot of support. Welcome aboard.
This is an interesting thread - particularly the responses.
I sense some resentment toward the OP. I imagine that resentment is rooted in the fact that abstinence is the only option for most of us. Hearing about others that can successfully drink is difficult after all of our past failed attempts. Because of how hard we all tried to moderate our drinking, if others can do it then by default we are failures.
I would hate for FFB to not feel welcome here at SR, especially if this current method of moderate drinking backfires. I believe that the majority of us came to SR because we had already exhausted the possibility of drinking moderately. This does not mean that we cannot help people that find our community sooner than we did.
I hope your experiment works out for you FFB, although I find it hard to grasp how you would measure your success. Painstakingly obsessing over limiting my drinks did not work for me. And when I tried it I usually failed miserably and ended up drinking more dangerously than if I had tried nothing at all.
Stick around, read as much as you can, post. This is a great community with a lot of support. Welcome aboard.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 66
I too, have tried moderation. And like you, it may work for some time.
However, 6 months is nothing in comparison to a lifetime. If your method works for you for the rest of your life - all the power to you. If it doesn't, you know where we are
However, 6 months is nothing in comparison to a lifetime. If your method works for you for the rest of your life - all the power to you. If it doesn't, you know where we are
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