wakko

The normal drinkers are not the problem. The problem is alcoholics socializing with normal drinkers while they're drinking.

bigsombrero

Hi Victoria,

"IMO" stands for "In my opinion", FYI. (and oh yeah, FYI stands for "For Your Information" LOL).

As for your thought process, I see some troubling signs, you might want to work on some things. Just telling you the straight dirt:

1. A "relapse" doesn't really have time definition, but if you were only sober one week, I'd argue that you are simply "continuing to drink". It's very nice to count the days, and be proud of ourselves for 1 Sober Day, but that doesn't mean you get to reward yourself at any point with alcohol. You need to stop drinking alcohol, end of story. This is serious business.

2. I'm alarmed that you think a solution is to drink non-alcoholic wine. I'm sorry, but that is the wrong approach. Non-alcoholic wine is not made for alcoholics. You need to completely change your socialization patterns and STOP hanging out where booze is! Bars, clubs, dinners out, ALL OF IT - gone. In the early goings you simply cannot be around alcohol, or those drinking it. Period.

3. You have to find a support system that works for you. You need a sober ally in your life. Do you have anyone that has also gone through this? A sober friend or relative? You are going to need as many tools as you can to fight this thing, and a few cyber pats-on-the-back doesn't always do the trick. Are there any AA groups or other sober groups you can look into?

- I speak from experience. After being released from 3 weeks in a treatment center, I went right to a pub and had dinner. My rationale was: "I should probably start learning to spend times in pubs without drinking, so I will try and have dinner there tonight". This was my first meal after treatment. At a bar. I didn't drink, but that just shows you how much of an "alcoholic mind" I still had at that point. I didn't realize that there is much more to being sober than not drinking. It's a complete overhaul of your life. One step at a time. Please help yourself by taking the right steps here in the early going. Good luck.

FeenixxRising

You stayed sober for a week, so that's good. You know you can at least get some sober time. I think you now need to accept that you need to quit for good. Personally, I have no problem being around other drinkers and saying "no thanks". Saying "I'm not drinking this evening" has usually been enough of an excuse.

One time, I did explain that I was going to the doctor to have blood work done, and I didn't want alcohol to screw up my numbers. In that case, it was the truth, but I would have no problem using that excuse even if it weren't true.

FeenixxRising

I agree, I associate with many people who drink normally. Not ever associating with people who drink is possible and a good idea in the short term, but impracticable if not impossible in the long term.

Freebird13

Why do you want to "hide" the fact that you have a drinking problem and quit? By lying to people (whether it's saying you are on antibiotics and can't drink or whatever), you are just placing unnecessary burden on yourself to perpetuate the lie. Plus you can't use the antibiotic excuse forever. I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of to admit you have a problem and are doing something about it. If they are true friends, they will understand and support you. Also, drinking non-alcoholic wine will only make you crave the real thing.

Bluemax65

This is something I will just have to ease myself into then. I'm not going to cut off too many social relations just because they're drinking but not getting drunk.